Before I begin, I created this thread a long time ago asking for advice on transferring colleges for a girl I only knew for a few months. If you’d like a quick run-down on the situation before continuing, here’s that thread: http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/discussion/1805643/transferring-schools-for-2nd-semester-of-freshmen-year#Form_Body
Anyway, it’s been almost three years since I’ve made one of the most regrettable decisions of my life: transferring colleges across the country for the sole reason of being with my girlfriend. Despite all the negativity and advice I got from friends, most my family, and this forum, my mind was set on transferring schools. I finished my Fall 2015 semester at a college five minutes from my home in Illinois and transferred to her university in Arizona for the Spring 2016 semester. It was great at first, but as I should have expected, her feelings changed for me over time since we were together in person. In just three months, she decided that we should just be friends and it really hurt me.
While it seemed like being friends would be fine, it just doesn’t work right after a break-up. We should have definitely spent less time from each other for a while to heal but I didn’t have too many friends and I felt I needed her. Things got worse and worse and it became one of the hardest times of my life. She was already interested in another guy, she didn’t want to talk to me anymore after an argument, and I didn’t have any good friends since I relied on her for most of that semester. I was so lonely and depressed and couldn’t take it there.
When I finally went home for the summer, I was very relieved to be back with family and friends, but I was also very disappointed in myself for my decision to transfer. I started to debate whether or not I should return or just stay back in Illinois and attend a different school. Ultimately, I made the decision to continue going there since I would have felt bad for transferring back and forth in such little time.
Fast forward four semesters later and things have been going well for me here. My relationship with my ex has become a lot more healthy and we remain good friends. Additionally, the club I started back during my first semester here has been growing stronger every semester and I’ve been making many friends from it so I no longer feel as lonely as I did my first few semesters. I also ended up picking a major after being undecided for a long time, figured out what I want to do for a career that I’m very passionate for, and am doing well in my classes with a cumulative GPA of 3.8.
Now that I can reflect on the past, I do have to say that I regretted my decision and should have been more rational at the time. However, so much good things and opportunities have come from transferring schools that I appreciate despite all the negative things that have happened. I’m much more independent here, I’ve made friendships that I’ll remember forever, and I created a club and community that have helped shape my passion for esports event organization which has sparked ambition to make it into a career than I ever would have had back at my old school.
Moral of the story? Put your feelings aside for others when making a decision as important as which college you’re attending and think about the only thing that should matter: yourself. It will be hard at first, but you need to think about what’s most logical for you. Relationships don’t always work out and that’s okay; I am positive you will find another person later in your life and that making decisions that affect your future are what’s important in the present.