You gave us plenty of details except for why your mother was upset. Do these frequent confrontations happen because you disappear for hours without letting her know where you are or at least how long you may be gone when you know that bothers her? Are they over the frequency and/or amount you’re drinking? Is there something she’d rather see you do than ride your bicycle around and hang out at the bar?
Are you working? If you don’t want your mom involved in your daily schedule, you may want to consider saving up for your own apartment.
At a time when most kids went to colleges near home, my father told me that he wanted me to go somewhere that I couldn’t live at home. I was shocked and asked why. He said to me, “Because if you’re not home at 2 AM, your mother can’t worry if she doesn’t know.”
That’s the difference between kids close and far away. There are too many things to worry about when they’re not home; we would go insane if we worried about where they were or what they ate specifically. When they are, there are discrete choices to worry about. When they’re far away, we just worry in general!
We always had a rule in our house…if you are going to be later than expected just send a text out of courtesy. My kids are grown and there are no curfews or anything but it saves me from worrying (as much).
For years I thought that this rule only meant that the kids should text me when they were running late. But not that long ago when my grown son was home I was out later than expected and when I came home he was annoyed with me – he said he was concerned and that I should have sent him a text out of courtesy just as I expect him to do for me. And you know what…he was 100% right. I apologized and now if either one of the kids is staying at home and I’m later than expected I send a quick text to them. And they continue to do the same for me. As this mom learned from her wise son, courtesy and respect should run both ways.
Oh, for heaven’s sake! If you, meaning anyone, whether you are 22, 42, or 104, are going on an errand and end up being longer than the errand should reasonably take, TELL the people you love. Don’t be a twit and think you’ve somehow “outgrown” the need for courtesy!
Hint: the people who love you will worry less if you tell them where you are. Really.
Did you ever wonder if this was a research project? Not that I know that, but was some what curious why this is on the latest post. Interesting people who tried to interact, to me it wasn’t a discussion.