<p>If the story is true, then the dad should adorn himself in the school’s spirit-wear so everyone will ask about it and he can respond.</p>
<p>The funny thing is that I know a NE mom who had two older kids at ivies, and her younger son is at a southern flagship…and the entire family wears that school’s spirit wear. </p>
<p>I’m with @alh, I find this story hard to believe. No one calling themselves a mother would do something so cruel to their own child.</p>
<p>I have relatives who place a lot of importance on names of colleges. One of their kids goes to the state college and their other kids are at more prestigious ones. The state college is actually a great college, but when they talk about it they are not enthusiastic. I think they love all their kids, but they emphasize achievements. </p>
<p>They are actually very good people- kind, generous, trustworthy, but they don’t acknowledge achievements that they aren’t impressed with, and I don’t think they have any idea how it may come across to the one who didn’t impress them. </p>
<p>If the OP’s wife grew up like this, putting the two stickers on the car would seem normal to her. </p>
<p>Really? I’m having trouble believing this story.</p>
<p>@sally305 & @alh: I don’t see why this story strains credibility. I certainly have seen parents favoring one child or another (whether they mean to or not) and certainly have heard of parents disappointed in the school their kid goes to. I very definitely have seen parents being more or less proud of one kid or another because of what one did or not do (whether they try to hide it or not). </p>
<p>Humanity contains all sorts of people.</p>
<p>@HarvestMoon1: My first thought is: are you sheltered? I certainly don’t think much of this mom, but there are mothers in this world who are far, far more cruel to their children than this.</p>
<p>I would be less surprised for the reversed, since Ivy could be considered snooty and boastful, whereas a “spirit school” may be a conversation-starter.</p>
<p>I believe it… could she be convinced to put a window sticker on? (Not sure what kind of “bumper sticker” she has now) for the other two schools).</p>
<p>The mom has a “nice” car, which she likely thinks is in-line with ivy window stickers. Adding a state school, in her mind, is like keying her car. lol</p>
<p>I believe this because I heard some of this as a kid. I guess I didn’t impress them. It took me a long time to see the bigger picture. This is how they were raised. </p>
<p>Part of this is because their ideas about college are now outdated. These attitudes are passed down from generations. In my parent’s era, the state college was not that impressive, but colleges have changed. Now it is selective and very well regarded overall. So what may look like they are being mean, may also be in part that they are not aware of how colleges are today compared to a generation ago. Many colleges that may not be familiar to them are excellent.</p>
<p>I find it hard to believe because the woman has a spouse who has pointed out that that her actions are objectionable. Kids are great at covering up their hurt with a “shrug of the shoulders” - they are trying to convince themselves it doesn’t matter. And yes I do find this particularly cruel @PurpleTitan because it is a slight the child will have to face every time he sees the mothers car. It is a constant putdown. it is also a public insult since those who know the family are aware of where the 3rd child goes to school. This sort of thing is a very insidious and subtle kind of emotional abuse.</p>
<p>I agree with another poster that if this story is true, it says more about the mother than anyone else connected with the story.</p>
<p>Does the kid care? I think boys would be less likely to care about a sticker on mom’s car. </p>
<p>I’m torn–It is either:</p>
<p>Don’t make a big deal about it. It is her car. Some people like to make their own odd little rules about what they put on their cars. (Yes to Hello Kitty steering wheel cover and vanity plates. NO way to fuzzy dice and that third sticker–way too tacky.)</p>
<p>OR Sneak out after dark and put it on, and see how long it takes her to notice.</p>
<p>@HarvestMoon1, agree with all that you said, but some people are like that.</p>
<p>right. Anything someone writes here <em>might</em> not be true, but I will answer as if it is, or not at all. And yes, there are people this cruel, and yes, there are people who do much worse things. And…yes, some are married to people who are distressed by their spouse’s actions.</p>
<p>I feel for the kid, and equally for the spouse, as this would be, potentially, an eye-opener.</p>
<p>I think we all want to see the third son recognized equally- not tear down the wife’s character. Yes, it is hurtful, but she may not be as in tune to the consequences. </p>
<p>Yes, I would be hurt as a kid. I think it is important to affirm all your kids equally. However, having experienced people who did this, and are caring parents in other ways, I have tried to make sense of this myself. </p>
<p>As for damage to the son, it really depends on what type of person he is and maybe how successful he becomes as well. I’ve seen children forgive their parents for far worse (and love parents who were deeply flawed). Agree that girls may usually be more sensitive to this type of thing.</p>
<p>I do not believe that if you do something for kid 1, you have to do it for kids 2-n. If mom is being supportive of the non-Ivy son and his dreams, i don’t see that she is required to have a bumpersticker. I don’t think you can assume that the lack of bumpersticker means she is discriminating against this son.</p>
<p>Sounds like the OP actually has 4 kids, so maybe mom has just decided that two stickers has used up all the automotive real estate she wishes to devote to her children. </p>
<p>My kids wouldn’t be hurt in the least if I did this. I would worry more that this is an over-reaction by Dad, than cruel parenting by Mom.</p>
<p>I would be interested to know where mom & dad attended for a better frame of reference. Also, there are some pretty impressive claims to fame among the southern schools. For instance, if you are talking Auburn, Tim Cook of Apple is a proud alum. If you are talking Georgia, they have an impressive number of students who have been named Rhodes Scholars, Fulbright Scholars, etc. over the last 20 years. If the OP is legit, I would guess that his S3 had some solid reasons for his choice. </p>
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<p>The dad thinks the kid cares.</p>
<p>Bumper stickers are weird, imho.</p>
<p>I have known a few people in real life who are like this. I do not respect them. To the OP, you are married to a snob, and I am very sorry. And yes, your third child does care. He may not care about stickers, but he does notice and care that he is not considered as important or valuable.</p>