Our first, a son, has a name that can go either way. However, we only thought of it as male because of songs, movies and even baseball. But he was always put in girls gym class in HS.
We choose a name from a book for our second. We liked it and hadn’t heard of it much. As I was being wheeled into the OR to have a C-section, I was asked if we had picked out names. I said the one we picked for each sex as we did not know what we where having. When I said the girl name, the nurse asked me if I watched a popular day time soap opera because this was the name of a significant character in the soap opera. I remember thinking " oh S…t," Sure enough it became a popular name in my D’s age!
I’m named after my mom, who was named after her aunt. I love my name, and all the nicknames that are associated with it. Althought it wasn’t popular when I was a kid, it’s one of the most popular names today.
We didn’t choose it for my daughter, because I thought she deserved her own name, and because my husband was named after his dad, and we had a bunch of family members with his name. It seemed like we had too many people running around with the same name, and even though she was female, it seemed like we should branch out from two name choices. We used H’s grandmother’s name as the middle name, and I was so glad that we did, because MIL was so grateful.
Turns out her name is SUPER common, but coupled with our one syllable last name, she often is asked if it’s a stage name.
We chose our son’s name through the same “make a list” method y’all used. Except H worked for a guy with S’s name so that kind of cinched it. S’s name is much less common than D’s, but he still gets the stage name question. Also, his full name is the name of a church, so if we google him, we get all the church news.
Our kids are rarely called by nicknames. In fact I hung up on one of S’s friends when he called and asked to speak to the equivalent of “Bob,” saying sorry, wrong number, nobody by that name here because we always called S by his full name, Robert. Later we learned that team mates called him by initials or 3 letter nickname along or with the one syllable last name.
We wanted somewhat unique names for our kids. I have a fairly uncommon name, and like it that way. DH has some name doubles, including one slightly well know and one known in town for bouncing checks. I am happy to have the kids be uniquely Google-able.
For S1, we went through name books and wrote a list of boy names that both DH and I were considering. We read the names to a 7-year-old son of friends and asked that he say “normal” or “weird” for each name. For S1’s name, he said “normal, but I’ve never heard it,” which was what we wanted. It also shortens to a common nickname, but he doesn’t use it because a friend goes by that nickname.
His middle name had to be a first-son middle name handed down for 4 generations, and that name didn’t combine well with some of the first names we liked.
Our alternate name in case S1 was a girl was a place name in the national park where DH and I honeymooned. We heard of someone naming their girl that years before having kids, and kept it in waiting.
We used the girl name for our second kid. However, 2nd kid is trans and currently working on paperwork to officially change his name. His first try at an alternate name was awful, and we told him. (Think “Dursley” from Harry Potter.) The new name (in use unofficially for over a year) is great, and his choice for middle name is one of the ones we liked for S1 but wouldn’t fit with the middle name he had to have.
BTW, we asked S1 what we should name Kid2 before birth, and he said “Cantaloupe, because I love it so much!”
We didn’t find out what we were having so we had 2 names for each gender going into delivery; chose their names after seeing them. All of them have their own names, not named after anyone.
Hubby was one of seven of his first name in his class and wouldn’t even consider it as a middle name.
Wouldn’t use a B name as it didn’t do well with our last initial-think BM, BO, BS.
H and I had same first initial; firstborn got the next letter initial-think A,A,B. Second, coincidentally, got the same initial - that’s the name he looked like! So A,A,B,B. When it came to the third, our options were same initial as sibs or the next consecutive initial - A,A,B,B,B or A,A,B,B,C. She looked like the B, So all our kids have the same first initial.
I also thought about the girls changing their names when getting married. Their middle names start with the same initial as our surname, so their middle initial is constant. My MIL had different middle initials on different documents - some from her given middle name, some from her maiden name. It drove me crazy.
I let each of my children’s fathers name them. My first, a boy, he chose a name and I liked it, done. My second, a girl, her Dad made a list of many names, most of which were unisex by nicknames (Sam for Samantha, Andy for Andrea, Georgie for Georgianna (my first choice BTW and a version of her Dad’s name too), etc. The only name I refused was Harley, just didn’t want my child named after a motorcycle lol. She did end up with a name where her nickname is unisex though. In the end her father didn’t have much time to decide, she arrived a month early and while driving to the hospital we were going through his list together. I told him he had just a few hours to decide and he better hurry up.
We originally hyphenated oldest son’s name, but we had to hospitalize him at 4 days old and the 17 letter last name was just ridiculous. So we filed an amended birth certificate and made my last name his second middle name and removed the hyphen. Then, we gave all of the kids a real middle name and my last name. No problems until we took oldest son for his learner’s permit and discovered that the SSA had not sent us an amended card but had actually issued a second card with a different number. People at DMV actually offered to buy the second card from me, but I went to the closest SS office and canceled it and got it resolved.
Oops, I meant that they got my last name as a second middle name. They all have H’s last name. H’s dad had HIS mom’s maiden name as a surname, not her husband’s name, so we always believed FIL was the product of an affair. I tell H he is lucky. His last name is a good one, but the grandmother’s married name was horrible. H and I both agreed that if that had been his last name, our children would have mine, which is another name that everyone has likely heard of. Neither last name is excessively common but there are famous people with them, who are not related to us.
^ S & DIL are expecting their first child and plan to hyphenate the last name (DIL kept her name). Having a hyphenated last name as long as the name they plan to give their child (16 characters) myself, I tried telling them the pitfalls of having such a long last name and how alot of times the hyphen is left out anyway by other people/businesses. I don’t think they changed their mind. It’s ironic since S prefers his 1-syllable nickname to his 2-syllable full first name.
We had a name picked out for my oldest all through the pregnancy, then we met her and chose something else! We gave her middle name of my darling nephew, whom I adore, but that annoys her greatly because she doesn’t think she should have been named after a cousin.
For the middle child, I wanted one name and my husband wanted another, so we agreed on both, but fought about the order. We filled out the birth certificate form and crossed out so many times that the woman at the desk wouldn’t accept it. we argued more and I won. I’ve always been glad because I still think it’s the best name ever, and my husband’s choice, that became the middle name (Samantha), was insanely common at that time. and wouldn’t have fit her at all. The unexpected Precious Baby King has a Biblical name (as does middle D), that is commonly Jewish - my father-in-law, the most anti-Semitic person I’ve ever met in real life, flipped over that. Just absolutely foaming at the mouth angry at my son’s name. Oh well. I still love that name, too.
For our 3rd and 4th kids, we gave the honor of naming the middle name to the first and then the second child. First child, age 5 at the time, gave our 3rd child, a son, the middle name that was the first name of her first little crush. Then, we got pregnant with #4, and the honor of naming the middle name was bestowed upon our 5 year old #2, and that’s when it got hilarious. She insisted in all seriousness that #4’s middle name be M&M in honor of her favorite candy. Assuring her that her chosen middle name for #4 was wonderful, over time, we gently persuaded her that Emma would be a good compromise, and so #4 is ___ Emma.
4 says she loves her name, but she would've also loved M&M as her middle name because she, of course, loves chocolate! :)) She is still in her pre-teen years, so who knows how long she would've appreciated M&M. It'll always be a great story, though!
H and I both French (he, French Canadian; me, French Moroccan) so we wanted our kids to have some sort of French related name. My oldest D has my mom’s name (my mom was born in Morocco and raised with both French/Arabic), kids two and three each have a French derived first name. My kids middle names all are related in one way or another to a grant parent or great-grandparent. I love all of their names - and i think my kids do too -we did a good job!!!
Also, my mom’s first name was “Americanized” a bit when she came from overseas with my dad. But still French. And in addition to my oldest D having her name, it is my middle name and my nieces middle name. We really like the name I guess!
I go by my full name to most people, but had an unusual but very simple nickname in high school and college so people who knew me then call me that. (I don’t mind.) DH switched to calling me by my real name. But every once in a while I get people who call me by a fairly common nickname and it really, really annoys me. And it’s not like calling a Thomas a Tom. More like calling a Margaret a Maggie.
DS1 is the seventh of same first name on DH’s side. Middle name is my father’s. He goes by the middle name. We always had to be careful to clarify in medical settings because they also have the same birth month but never had much trouble otherwise. He still likes it and doesn’t think it’s inconvenient.
DS2’s first name is a fictional character the four of us still love and admire. Middle name is masculine version of my maternal grandmother’s name (think Robert-Roberta). When we told my parents, my laconic father says, “Oh, I had an Uncle Rob at Verdun,” so that was nice. DS2 also happy with his name still.
Today’s parents have to think of giving a name that is not easy to Google; that is, be the only one or one of the few with that name. Privacy concerns, stalking, etc. Thinking of names like “keanu” or “barack” which coupled with an uncommon last name will mean that everything that kid has done online or in any paper that goes online will be easily searchable.
