Naming your children. Disagreements!

Parent Cafe
101

Luckily S1 has been fairly accomplished so far and not gotten into trouble. He is easily Google-able and his digital footprint backs up many of the accomplishments listed in his college applications. For research papers, he will need to use either his full first name or his second middle initial (my last name is his 2nd middle name). Otherwise, he has the same first and second initials and last name as his grandfather, who has PhD publications in chemistry.

He doesn’t give out birth date or SS#, of course.

Here’s a not so cool naming story: the middle name DH’s parents chose for his younger sister turned out within a year of her birth to be the first name of the woman DH’s dad was having an affair with at the time DH’s mom was pregnant. So, she is saddled with a middle name that reminds her of that step-monster (since replaced by a 3rd wife). Moral: Don’t suggest the name of your secret fling.

102

@techmom99 We also used my last name as a second middle name and H’s last name as the kids’ last name.

On my mom’s side of the family, it was normal to use the mom’s maiden name for the middle name of the first girl, who would then drop that for her maiden name when she married. That whole side of the family could never understand that I didn’t change my last name.

103

That shows VERY poor judgment to name your child after secret fling–poor kid!

104

Our policy for picking baby names was that both of us had unlimited veto power. That way no name could be pushed onto a kid over one parent’s objection. It also means that while maybe neither parent gets to use their favorite name, it also means that neither will be stuck with a name they dislike. The chosen name will be at least acceptable to both parents.

105

Our three kids were fairly easy to name. My parents only had girls but my dad had one name he always wanted for his son, as soon as we told him I was pregnant everyone began referring to the baby by my dads favorite name. It was a boy so we did indeed use that name (it was my dads first grandchild too). For our second child, my H always had a name that he wanted to name a son. It was OK with me, not a huge favorite of mine but I could live with it. As soon as I saw my son, it was as though I knew him. His name popped into my head and when my husband said, “So, he’s Matthew?”. I said ,“No, he’s Mark” and my husband looked closely at him and agreed. It was such a strange, thunderbolt moment but I knew what his name was supposed to be in that flash. For our third, we had only ever agreed one one name for a girl and she was a girl.

106

One of my grandmothers was named LaFon. Have no idea where that came from, though Al Gore’s sister had the same name. GM was from Wisconsin of Norwegian and German stock.

107

That’s funny, in my family a cousin (male) had the name LaFon. They were also German heritage. But the guy went by “Bill”.

108

I had a friend named LaVonne, of similar ethnic background.

109

From WI- never heard of LaFon despite the Norwegians and Germans around. In one city lived it there were plenty Van…, Van Everybody we used to joke. Some were 16 letters long. You just kept going and going with short pronounceable syllables. I wonder what the next generation does with hyphenated names- A-B marries C-D and kids are given ??? as a last name. We don’t need our entire lineage in our name.

My older sister got lucky our cousin got the middle name “Priscilla” before she did, our mother’s younger sister got it from her mother and passed it along. Cousin only had a son.

I prefer my adult nickname (do most of us have childish diminutives we discard first for our given name then a shorter nickname?). When someone wants to call me by my full, given name it brings up memories of when I was in trouble- when Mom used your full given name instead of your nickname. watch out!

Persuaded Indian side relatives to give their son (and then D) a middle name. They were going to drop the usual father’s first name as middle but we explained that most Americans have a middle name and it would be easier when filling out forms.

Some people choose twists on American names to reflect their country. However, this often leads to mispronunciations as people convert to the common American one they see just written differently. In my generation most were of European stock with standard names but now people choose many different ethnic names so those with what once set them apart are mainstream. No more just “Dick and Jane” in reading books either.
My sister and I got lucky our parents chose names they liked. Brother got middle names from father and his father. Scandinavian grandfather got Linnaeus for his middle name in honor of that scientist.

About that seeing the child and knowing the choice is good. Happened to us, although kid came before we had names picked out. Kid’s NICU name card was changed from Baby Boy to —.

110

Our first born son’s name came more or less written into the prenup, the name of W’s favorite brother who had died tragically. It was also her dad’s first name (German) and one of my grandfather’s (Italian), so all good. His middle name is my father’s (Dutch) first name. Our D has an Old Testament name that came from my family’s Norwegian roots. S2’s came from the Scottish side, part of the benefits of being such a mutt. It’s also easier that we were both white, suburban people raised in the NE.

Our disagreement came when I had chosen two names that I thought sounded like “smart” boys, Clarence and Melvin. After she got two stuffed animals at the baby shower, she preemptively named them Clarence and Melvin.

Funny about “Dennis” - I had a friend in elementary school with that name but he was French so it was spelled with only one n. Invariably, someone would have extended the line below the D on his papers. He started spelling it with two n’s, thus his nickname “Pennis.”

111

My grandmother had 9 kids and for an uneducated woman from a rural area she sure came up with some interesting names for her kids (better not share). But the most interesting name in her family was her father’s. His name was General Francis Marion XXXXXXXX (last name). Yes, General was his first name. I went to the genealogy center in SLC many years ago and did some research to see if he might have been related to the real General, but I found so many people named Francis Marion XXXXXX (various last names), I figured that his parents were just following a trend. I didn’t find anyone else who went so far as to include the “General” as part of the name though!

112

The year before the movie had even premiered, my DH wanted to name our 2nd child after his grandfather. Although it is a nice name and very masculine, I just didn’t want my child to have that name. A year later I was so thankful we didn’t. His name would have been Forrest. Can you even imagine what he (and we)would have had to deal with his whole life?

113

I always loved names. I can remember spending hours poring over the name section of the old family Webster’s dictionary as a kid, memorizing meanings, origins, etc. I even thought about the fact that (in my mind, anyway) each name had it’s own color. (Numbers had color, too, but that’s another story!) One name in particular intrigued me, though I can’t say I liked it at ten years old (when my preference was for flowery.) I had never know of anyone with that name, an ancient name with a lovely meaning.

Fast forward to the time DH and I were preparing to adopt our unknown-to-us child. Like all moms, I wanted a very special name…yet many names had qualities I loved for different reasons. So I presented him with lists. Invariably the response was lukewarm. “It’s OK”, “maybe,” “not too bad,” “I don’t mind it,” “Well, if that’s what you want.” The only definite "no"s were in response to longish names…“how’s she going to be able to spell it in first grade?!”

Disappointed, I started to conclude that he just wasn’t into names. He was thrilled about becoming a father, just didn’t care about the moniker.

Until one day, I gave it another try and suggested THE name…the one I had always noticed as a child as a little odd in those days but appealing, Still not super common (as in the top 30) but rising in the ranks fast, maybe too fast, so I wasn’t sure. But the moment I mentioned it, it took. He said, with an enthusiasm I hadn’t yet heard "Yep, that’s it. That’s her name! He was adamant! He wouldn’t budge. No other name would do.

Fast forward a few months to that magical day when we got the little photo and paperwork describing our baby daughter from China. And except for one critical letter in the middle, her Chinese given name (in the Western alphabet, of course) was the same as the name we chose. (She only had one given name, which is a little unusual as well.)

BTW, you will never be able to guess her names…my Chinese friend tells me her name is unusual (and rather intellectual, I might add.) The two have different meanings and pronunciation…but together they do describe her personality wonderfully well… we kept them both in her legal name.

This week DD had to write an essay at school about her name and its family history. She described this very story and concluded that she loves her name and wouldn’t want to change it.

114

Ah, @conmama, I still love that name anyway!!

115

My father’s college nickname was Gump, but he didn’t name any of the kids Forrest.

116

@wis75, many Dutch last names include “Van.” But not all. My dad’s forebears were from the Netherlands, and nearly all of his relatives married people who had also come from the Netherlands, so I’m familiar with (and sometimes amused by) the often long last names.

As for nicknames, I’ve noticed that in some professional practices (e.g., dental offices, law firms), the partners either all use nicknames or all don’t. I’ve wondered if the particular style is explicitly encouraged by the management or if the partners just pick up on it and choose their “professional” name accordingly.

117

A lot of Belgians in the area, not sure if the nonFrench speakers often have Dutch names. Different than the immigrant populations in other parts of the state. Wisconsin was heavily settled by non British Europeans (although there are areas of those as well- Cornish miners for one area). Wonder how it is over the lake in Holland, Michigan… Of course not all of any nationality follow any rules. And names get changed- some Americanize and others make sure the name shout the ethnic group to all. Have distant relatives who went both ways.

118

Please, for the love of Mike, if a name has one standard spelling in the U.S., use the one standard spelling.

Maddysin and Brittni will be the death of me.

119

When I was pregnant with my (now 29 yo) D, I had picked “Nicolaus” as a boys name, with the intent of calling him ‘Nico’. My mother had a fit, and was all over the name and how could I name him after Tzar Nicholas! It didn’t calm things when I told her I was actually looking to name the child after Nicolaus Copernicus (I had the honor of meeting and spending time with Carl Sagan while pregnant & I’ve always been interested in astronomy). Luckily for me, I had a girl and the issue was put to rest.

120

When my son got his meet the RA email for this year, he found out that her name is Maddysin. While he is certainly open to meeting her, there is definitely some assuming about her based on the name. We have a relative who named her kid a stupid spelling of Michaela, and the choice definitely reflects the fact that the mom is a nitwit. The child is not a nitwit, more’s the pity.