<p>northstarmom-- I am not saying I like pictures for “narcissistic” reasons, mostly because they represent a time when they were not burdened by illness. I suppose I would care about restorative efforts and results if open caskets and viewings were something I wanted at my time of death.</p>
<p>I am not Jewish, but I am down with that pine box and no open casket, my family tradition would go more along the lines of a memorial and photos.</p>
<p>Having presided over numerous dog/cat/rodent funerals I still think the body left behind is missing the vitality that makes them who/what they were; what the funeral home cannot recreate is that spirit of life and that is what is missing at an open casket</p>
<p>““I want to look good. I want them to fill in my wrinkles; I want people to say, ‘God, she looks great. She looks better dead than alive.’””"</p>
<p>You don’t think it’s narcissistic for a person to want to have their dead body’s wrinkles filled in? It’s not as if people used to seeing their loved one’s elderly face are going to run screaming away from seeing that same wrinkled face in a coffin.</p>
<p>Seems it would be far more disturbing to see the corpse looking preternaturally young.</p>
<p>I remember seeing this in the classifieds once:</p>
<p>“For sale: 2 cemetary plots in Eternal Peace cemetary. Located in prestigious Whispering Waters section.”</p>
<p>I thought, WOW, you even have to have the “right” address when you’re dead!</p>
<p>I think the make up is not for the dead but rather the live ones that come to view the open casket.</p>
<p>It’s not the make-up that I called “narcissistic”. It’s procedures such as having corpse’s wrinkles filled in. I can understand wanting to hide the ravages of disease or trauma, but not the normal changes of aging.</p>
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<p>Not especially, no; at least, no moreso than wearing makeup is, or getting one’s nails done, or having high-maintenance hairdos while alive.</p>
<p>The woman who made the comment about the wrinkles was “haunted” by how her aunt looked in the coffin. She wants to spare someone else a similar haunting. Sure, she could have a closed-casket service, thereby not offending your sensibilities, but the fact is that many many many people have open-casket services because they prefer them, or their families prefer them.</p>
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<p>Yup; that’s what I think, too, even for filling in wrinkles.</p>
<p>I think these comments were made by people who are not dead. My mother was very haunted looking before she died. But the funeral home did an excellent job at make up, no need for filling wrinkles(at least I’m not aware of any extra charge). She looked like she did before the illness that ravaged her.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t want anyone looking at my painted , enbalmed body. plus, I never have anything to wear.
I would prefer to be cremated and not be placed in the most expensive piece of furniture I was ever associated with ( and then have it put in the ground )
Does Ikea make caskets ?</p>
<p>You don’t need a casket if you’re going to be cremated.</p>
<p>that was supposed to be tongue in cheek…
my grandmother and great grandmother were cremated and buried</p>
<p>I was going to add that it wouldn’t surprise me at all if Ikea made caskets. The only problem is that you’d have to put yours together yourself, with a hex wrench and wordless instructions.</p>
<p>lj, your naked open casket funeral could really start the talk in your neighborhood! Is the paint you refer to total body paint :D</p>
<p>Well, you can’t take it with you, so I guess if you want to spend on one last shebang, who’s to complain? Your heirs, I guess. I personally would not like people thinking and saying that I look better dead than alive.</p>
<p>" I personally would not like people thinking and saying that I look better dead than alive."</p>
<p>Yeah. That’s sort of insulting and …creepy. However, I wouldn’t be around to hear it anyway.</p>
<p>maybe I should rethink this…I could be painted, full monte , Key West style.
Still have to wonder if Ikea could make my casket, assembled with no tools
Once they toss the dirt on me, what does it matter if I go Ethan Allen or Ikea ?</p>
<p>Although I don’t particularly care about funerals and have it in my will that I want to be cremated, I have to say that if there’s any chance that your family might have an open casket funeral for you, go to your closet right now and throw out that outfit you’ve always hated.</p>
<p>Because if you don’t, it may be the last outfit you’re ever seen in.</p>
<p>Many years ago, a friend of mine died, and her family had a open-casket funeral. My friend was the sort of woman who lived in sweaters and jeans, but apparently, once in her life she had bought (or perhaps been given) a frilly pink dress. That dress, of course, was what her family picked out of her closet for her to be buried in.</p>
<p>If she had not already been dead, she would have died of embarrassment.</p>
<p>sorry Columbia Student/ Not really a laughing matter , unless you are in my family and our oddball way of dealing with funerals usually ends up in laughing.
Maybe it is inappropriate, but sometimes it really breaks the tension in a painful time.
No disrespect intended …and the posts on the threads today are really out of sync</p>
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LOL Marian! So it would have killed her to be seen in that frilly pink dress???</p>
<p>Northstarmom:</p>
<p>Aside from narcissim, we need more than ever these people to spend money to keep our economy float as long as they are not the one who need the bailouts. At present economic situation, I will take them over people who keep the money under mattress. Think at least, they are at least are providing jobs for some folks.</p>
<p>Unfortunately in recssion, poor, old, very young people suffer most, rich with narcissim can still get by.</p>