<p>Marian, my mother has taken your suggestion one step further. She has already chosen the outfit she wants to be buried in, including the jewelry. She has labeled it and shown it to my sister and I. Frankly, I’m glad she has made the decision for us.</p>
<p>It seems to me that the decision of how to be presented should be based entirely on what will be best for your survivors. If they will need to see the body for closure, then maybe it makes sense for a certain amount of cosmetic work. If they will be horrified by the idea of cremation, then don’t do it. Personally, I would have no problem being cremated, but I can’t ask for it if I die before my mother does, for example.</p>
<p>I’ve been to several open casket wakes where folks, looking for small talk - or just something to say, say things like, “He/She looks really good.” I always felt tempted (shades of George Carlin/Bill Cosby) to blurt out, “Good? He/she looks dead!”</p>
<p>My family has definitely been known to laugh at wakes. (By the time of the funeral, we seem to be able to behave ourselves.) It is ususally accompanied by a reference that the recently deceased would’ve appreciated the humor.</p>
<p>Our family has also had some problems with laughter ( though quiet and unnoticed )
When my father passed away a few years ago, my youngest asked me why the minister called him Maurice (" Mooreese" pron ) He was known by Morris though spelled Maurice.
I explained to her that some people called him Maurice and my sister chimed in with " some called him the gangster of love " ( Steve Miller Band, the Joker ) The poor limo driver , who was trying to remain professional lost her composure and you could see her shoulders shaking while she tried to contain her giggles.
Even my mother got a little relief from the sorrow…
Now everytime anyone in our family hears that song, we all feel like he is near !</p>
<p>You don’t really need to fill in wrinkles. When you die and your muscles relax, your facial skin gets pulled down by gravity. End result, no wrinkles.</p>
<p>It really spooked me the first time I saw the open casket of an old person that I knew–no wrinkles, it didn’t compute!</p>
<p>Plus Ca Change…this idea is so 18th Dynasty Egypt that it’s freaking me out a little. What next…grave goods? I’d like a bottle of wine, a box of good chocolates and a Wii, please 'cause I don’t want to be bored in my next incarnation. But leave the jewelry off, thanks. I’d rather leave that to someone who’ll appreciate it.</p>
<p>We have friends who are morticians and run a funeral home. There is much cosmetics work done on corpses. Some of those faces do end up looking better dead than alive.</p>