Your D is ahead of the game. It took my D actually doing it to come to the same conclusion. Helped in part by a trip to a college hockey game at MSG ,where school spirit was on display, and a visit to Ithaca, where she saw students who were able to just hang out and party right in their Collegetown houses, without having to go anywhere and pay money to do it. She got a feel of what she was missing vs a campus-centered school.
I hope you post when your daughter makes a decision, and best of luck to her.
I’m most familiar with Cornell since that’s my alma mater and they are very upfront with legacy only being a bump in ED. I’ve read others saying the same thing here about their schools but I expect it’s school specific and like everything else related to college admission, there is no hard and fast rule.