NE elite parents

Parent Cafe
1

<p>just want a peek into the lifestyle of elite parents in the northeast (or new england). </p>

<p>what kind of jobs do they hold? where do they live, where are their summer homes, and where do they vacation? </p>

<p>as for their kids, what kind of activities do they typically put them through, and where do they send them for camps or study abroad? </p>

<p>do most of them push their kids to attend elite prep schools, then go ivy or other top college, and enter a prestigious and well-paying profession?</p>

2

<p>Just an fyi… Most of us that live in the Northeastern part of the United States send our kids to the local publics and many end up going to the state colleges. It’s only on this board and in the movies where you might get the idea that all kids in the Northeast live in cities, go to private schools and attend ivy league colleges.</p>

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<p>Define “elite”.</p>

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<p>I live in the northeast and drive an 11 year old Volvo station wagon.</p>

<p>Do you want some more information?</p>

5

<p>Got to agree with kathiep - have lived here in NE all of my life and barely know anyone who can be considered “economically advantaged/elite”. Sure, every state/city/town has them, but not in the circles we travel in. We are just plain, every day “average” - a HS teacher and a reporter. D went to the large, public HS in a very urban and diverse city, and applied to both private and public colleges. She is at a private school due mostly to the very generous merit scholarship and a wonderful amount of outside scholarship money. She had lots of friends that went to private schools, but we felt that the money would be better spent for her college education. Our summer home is the same one we live in the rest of the year. And, I own a 1989 Dodge - LOL!</p>

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<p>Gotcha beat -Allmusic-: my two trucks are both 88’s, my wife’s Honda was an '87 till we splurged and got a Scion XB for her in '05. My kids felt priveleged- their vehicles are both 1990’s.</p>

<p>Our summer home is a '77 pop-up camper.</p>

<p>Plus we own a boat (20 year old Coleman canoe).</p>

<p>I’m a firm believer in inconspicuous consumption. ;)</p>

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<p>My summer home is in my closet right now - it’s a tent!</p>

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<p>I doubt true “elites”/ bluebloods/upper crust would frequent this board. This is a site for the meritocracy.</p>

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<p>I agree, bdmrad. Even my D’s Catholic school classmates who are from gazillionaire families are not blue blood elites. Sure, they may own Las Vegas casinos, European vacation homes, or ski slope chalets, but they are more often ethnic Catholics who are very smart & made very smart career moves. Maybe that’s partly why my D has no problem fitting in with them despite her modest upbringing.</p>

<p>I don’t want to brag, MOT, but we own TWO summer homes. One is so large that we must store it in the attic.</p>

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<p>After paying for private high schools, music lessons and private college, we can’t even afford a tent!</p>

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<p>Just to look at one family from NE, have a look at the Kennedys.</p>

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<p>

I’d really rather not, thank you.</p>

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<p>sjmom,</p>

<p>We just sold the pop-up camper, but still have the canoe! :D</p>

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<p>I live in the NE and work in one of the top law firms in NYC, so I know lots of “elite” families. Most of them send their kids to the best public schools in NYC, own country homes also in the NE and let their kids choose whatever colleges they love and can gain admission to. They have the same hopes, dream, worries and stresses as everyone else with regard to the college process because even for them, admission isn’t a sure bet and one never knows what to expect with any kids.</p>

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<p>Wow, sokkermom, you must be rich!!! zoosermom, I agree. This isn’t the NE of the early half of the 20th century.</p>

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<p>I don’t think I qualify as “elite.” No blue blood, no gazillions in income. But we are upper-middle class and both have Ph.D.s. We have only one home (albeit expensive) and only one car (9 years old). Kids went to public school and attended/attend top colleges.
One kid attended music camp for six years; the other attended academic camp for five years. We take cheap vacations. within driving distance–and this year, none at all.
Both kids are on track to enter low paying careers :(. But having high paying jobs was not the criterion for choosing either college or major.</p>

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<p>There isn’t any one “elite” in the Northeast, there are lots of them, somewhat overlapping. They can be based on education, ethnicity, profession, and social background. People who earn millions of dollars a year can be very different from people who have millions of dollars in trust funds, and people whose immigrant ancestors signed the Mayflower Compact may be different from people whose immigrant ancestors live in their spare bedroom. Some people who are part of elites have very modest resources (for example, in Philadelphia there is a sort of nobility of old Quaker families, some branches of which live very frugally but have the respect of their wealthy third cousins).</p>

<p>Where people live, where they vacation, where they send their kids to school, and what they tell their kids are influenced by all of those factors, but all of those factors can be, and often are, dominated by individual personality traits that have nothing to do with class.</p>

<p>On average, they seem to like old fashioned private schools (high school and college), even when they live in excellent school districts, but there are lots of exceptions to that, especially in the excellent suburban school districts. Boarding schools were very popular with WASPs (but not so much with other ethnic groups) for kids in my generation and before, but I think that has changed substantially. </p>

<p>In the Northeast the state universities are not generally considered on a par with the universities of California, Michigan, Virginia, North Carolina, etc., so there is less of a tendency to focus on that option. There is also a pretty strong value placed on kids going some distance from home to college. Even when they stay close, it’s almost unheard of for a kid to live at home, and I have friends whose kids go to Penn who see them only at vacation times, even though it would be the easiest thing in the world to have lunch or brunch some time.</p>

<p>One thing that seems safe to say is that Northeastern elites like liberal arts colleges a lot more than other groups. The top private schools here send half or more of their classes to liberal arts colleges, and that is the first option for lots of smart kids (and the alma mater of lots of their parents). Not that they don’t like HYP, too, but HYP frenzy is notably absent.</p>

<p>Most actually don’t push their kids so much. The ideal is a happy, engaged life, not a “prestigious and well-paying profession”, although it’s common to believe that you can have a happy, engaged life as a lawyer or banker. There are lots of exceptions to this, though. One of my college roommates, who has overachieved every day of his life, could barely talk to his father because he resented the constant, unnecessary pressure from him so much. Summers are a time for independence, nature, and physical activity, not academic enrichment, and not usually supplemental sports training, either.</p>

<p>Generally, they read the Sunday New York Times, regardless of where they live. They read the wedding announcements, because they know the people.</p>

<p>And all of the above is gross overgeneralization, to which anyone could pose limitless counterexamples.</p>

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<p>I think that’s a pretty good summary of some of the people around here. The only exception is the focus on getting the kids into Andover or Exeter.</p>

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<p>Lots of elite here in NYC area (not us), own vacation homes in the Hamptons or (less preferred) Jersey Shore or even less preferred, upstate. Kids go to private elite high schools (competitive admissions even for the elite), paying tuition similar to colleges. These schools have amazing, well-connected, low-ratio GC’s who help place the kids into good colleges, often ivy or private LACs with varying standards but uniformly high tuitions :-).</p>

<p>We live in suburban NJ, small house, public school, honda, subaru :-), reading the Sunday Times occasionally, but never reading the wedding announcements!</p>

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<p>Our family estate is a 1966-vintage split level, our cars are old Hondas, our gold-and-green summer home sleeps six, and our blue summer home sleeps two, though the nylon roofing on the blue one leaks in the rain. Our well-loved rescue mixed beagle/border collie hails from the hunt country of VA. This dog doesn’t hunt. She prefers sleeping on her private sofa, which she will occasionally deign to share so we can watch a movie. The help (that would be me) wears t-shorts and shorts, not French maids’ costumes. :wink: We do utilize child labor; our household chef is 15, though we are liberal-minded and allow him to attend school. We grant special dispensation for football practice. </p>

<p>DH is the son of a union electrician from the Bronx. DH went Ivy thanks to a merit scholarship. His Ivy graduate degree was supplied through loans, scholarships, and a working spouse (again, that would be me). I am the daughter of a career Army major who was among the pioneers of male nurses. Got his RN at age 23 and his BSN at age 40. I went to a large flagship state school, turning down Duke due to lack of money. Neither of us got family financial support during college. We paid off the last student loan nine years ago.</p>

<p>Our progeny attend diverse public schools. They have worked hard to create opportunities for themselves and to take advantage of what our metro area has to offer, much of which is available for free or at minimal cost, if one knows where to look. SAT prep consisted of test books and practice as appropriate. Never hired a tutor for academics or test prep. DH and I can pretty well cover the bases between us. Neither of our kids plans to take advantage of DH’s Ivy legacy status. </p>

<p>DH works 50-60 hours/week for the government, plus a 2 1/2 hour round-trip commute. We pay taxes. You get your money’s worth from him. I worked in pension administration/communications until I became ill. Now I make sure every day counts.</p>

<p>DH reads NYT, WaPo, WSJ. I read WaPo, NYT, Chicago Tribune, London Times. Our progeny sit at the breakfast table and read newspapers, too.</p>

<p>Elite? Education is the only thing we are willing to pay full sticker price for, given the right fit and opportunity. If that makes us elites, so be it.</p>