<p>“But really, much of the time when she is here, I am surfing the net, watching the tv, and hardly being a paragon of industriousness beyond folding laundry and vacuuming.”</p>
<p>I’ve dealt with that feeling, too. Other friends of mine are also in the same boat, professionals who’ve stayed home to raise their children. (Some of us have gone back to work on a part time basis - partly to deal with this “feeling” and also to pay some bills!)</p>
<p>The reality is there’s so much going on behind-the-scenes that we take care of and they don’t see it. Yes, here I was telling my daughter that she should aspire to be this and that while I was pushing vacuum…but you know, that’s my hang up. Not hers. I’ve always taught my children to do their best so that they would have choices in life. </p>
<p>Like most stay at home moms, you probably don’t give yourself the credit you deserve. But I also have to agree with the other posters, step back and let your D take care of it.</p>
<p>northstarmom, I love your post. My S is very similar to your 2nd. Thanks for your words of encouragement. They reach farther than you know…</p>
<p>i think the chronic illness is prob a huge factor. its hard enough for them to maintain senior year, let alone with missing school, having to make up schoolwork, and continuing to feel crappy. id work with her on doing just enough to not get rescinded. she’s been sick. they will understand that.</p>
<p>take it easy on youself. take it easy on her.</p>
<pre><code>For several months, I have been thinking of this thread and found my old CC password to post an update. First off, thank you all for your insights; I just reread this thread, posted what seems eons ago. Here is what happened after April 2009:
</code></pre>
<p>Her high school senior year really was difficult for her – her most difficult year in school.
She was accepted to her waaay reach school from the waiting list at the last minute with awesome financial aid. (Her average-ish grades were in difficult AP classes.)
D chose a very interesting STEM major that was a surprise to me. It is not an easy major. Her grades in the major were Bs and As; her grades in many Gen Ed type classes ran the gamut but mainly Cs and Bs. (Her college schoolwork became manageable after she was diagnosed and treated for ADD.)
She outgrew her computer games.
She had several male admirers and was unexpectedly popular. She broke some hearts.
She demonstrated real responsibility with finances and her car while in college.
She is graduating this month (on time!)
For my part, I dialed down my micro-managing and tried not to worry so much; I encouraged her and tried to direct her to own her decisions. </p>
<p>So for anyone who read this thread and wondered – my D did just fine in college in spite of senioritis in HS (and a courseload that was too ambitious and chronic bronchitis) and did just fine in spite of me. :-)</p>
<p>So glad to read happy update. Our kids have had chronic health issues, so much so they both missed 1/2 of their last year of HS. S still was able to graduate on time as an EE. We are hoping D will be graduating just 1 year after her HS buddies, in her dream major and then start hunting for an internship. Chronic health issues can take a serious toll.</p>
<p>How cool you posted, often people exit and the actual outcomes are never heard…or you hear about the flameouts but never the kids who get to college and actually succeed! You send them off and hold your breath for many months and then wow, it’s OK. I’m sure you’ll be crying tears of joy at graduation - for me that college graduation is way more meaningful than high school!</p>
<p>Congratulations! Great update and a good reminder that some kids really do have undiagnosed things going on, and/or will rise to the occasion when a little bit of maturity kicks in.</p>