need advice for the summer

Parent Cafe
1

<p>Parents, this is awkward, but I need a little advice from people who have experience.</p>

<p>I live with my parents. My parents are a little off, relative to modern society. They took away the TV, any video games, and they even went as far as blocking anything on the Internet that might come across as a distraction to me. So if I try to google something say “football game,” I would get blocked because the word “game” gets caught by the firewall. I can’t even play chess. As for why they do this, I’ll just leave that out, because I have tried to make them change how they treat me for as long as I remember, and I’ve thrown in the towel.</p>

<p>I like to play a lot of sports, which has been my main way out of the misery of living with my parents. Now, I’m not sure if that’ll work anymore. This summer, I want to work a lot, make money, and map out where I want to go after college, and how I would get there. But I’m having the hardest time finding the motivation to do so. I just need to make some close friends this summer, like people I can hang out with. I rarely hung out in high school, so I didn’t really make any ‘close’ friends. I did make friends in college, but they all went home. Above all, I’m having major trust issues with people, so I find it very hard to get close to them.</p>

<p>Please suggest some clubs that I could join, things I could say to an old high school friend, anything that can help me break free from the isolation I’m feeling right now.</p>

2

<p>I really don’t have much to offer; my son doesn’t have many close friends either since he’s always chosen to bury himself in his academics and personal projects.</p>

<p>Do you already have a job? You could make friends there - even if they aren’t “close” friends, they could still be people to hang out with and talk to. Also, I think if you were to volunteer your time at a retirement home you’d find plenty of people who would be delighted to see you, talk to you, and listen to you.</p>

<p>I guess I’m really replying just to give encouragement and wish you luck. You’ll make it.</p>

3

<p>Yes, I have a job in a lab. Due to stupid circumstances, I won’t be starting until June 1. I’m trying to find other jobs, namely another research job, paper route, training becoming a bus driver, and possibly tutoring. I’d do all of them if I could, anything to get me out there. But right now I can’t really get off my ass.</p>

4

<p>Ok, according to your posts, you just completed your freshman year. First of all you might be depressed, and it would be a good idea to see your general practitioner doctor just to be sure you are not having any health issues. Otherwise, drag your butt out and get a summer job, where you can sling some hash, meet some girls (or guys as your bent might be) and get a social life. Then spend some quiet time thinking about where t f you are headed, and who it is you want to be.</p>

5

<p>

You might see if there’s any community or summer stock theater going on in your region this summer. Volunteer to help backstage. Call and ask for the name of the director or whoever runs the company. A lot of these productions are volunteer, low-key, but provide a place to go to rehearsals and productions most evenings, and occupy the weekend nights for performances, so your Fri/Sat/Sun nights become busy and fun. You could move props, help with building scenery, sell refreshments or work at the box office or as usher.</p>

<p>You might also see if there’s a Boys and Girls club or afterschool that needs an athletic person to come and volunteer or even be paid. Other young people will work there, and it feels good and purposeful to volunteer especially since you like sports.</p>

<p>Maybe there are children’s sports teams going, for example, T-Ball or summer soccer with OSCA. A coach might need a helper who’s not a crazy, over-involved parent! I know someone your age who worked as a referee all summer for kids’ Little League Baseball, just to give back to his community. </p>

<p>Such activities provide a regular schedule during the summer, and reason to get away from the house.</p>

<p>For tutoring, the fastest approach might be to see if there’s a local tutoring company business, such as Huntington Learning Center, where they have students all signed up. It’s hard, although not impossible, to just scrape up new tutees, although your h.s. might have names of students. Ask your GC and don’t overcharge if you’ve never tutored before. The Huntingtons and other such places are in a building already, rather than just online tutoring services, so you have a place to go to away from the house. If you can find a tutee from the h.s., meet in a coffeehouse rather than in either person’s home.</p>

<p>The very simplest and fastest way to find some other people is to contact your town hall and see if anyone’s working on a local, national or international project, for example, fund-raising for Haiti or Louisiana, and pitch in doing whatever projects they’re doing in your town. Or ask if there’s a project to send packages to troops overseas, and work on that. You’ll feel good and do some good, meanwhile meeting other people.</p>

6

<p>Not sure where you live, but I’m visualizing Iowa’s farmlands… Can you find tutoring around near you? One way to do that is to create a flyer and post that at a grocery store’s or drugstore’s bulletin board with your phone number. That isn’t a club, but you can make money that way. If school is still in session, you may find students who need to cram for finals.</p>

<p>As for just getting out: go to a bookstore or the library. Around where I live, the library is a very social gathering place. I always run into someone I know. And get some exercise: running or biking or swimming.</p>

<p>Also, help out at a high school’s summer theater program. Most HS host summer theatre groups, like “SYF: Summer Youth Festival”. You may not want to be on center stage, but being a part of that is great fun and very energizing. Help with the Lighting, or Stage.</p>

<p>If what you’re really saying is that you lack motivation, well… you at least called out for suggestions! Maybe you can’t stay in your room and just play video games all day, but you should plan to enjoy a good old fashioned summer instead. You may even discover gaming is a waste of time or at least a distraction from activities that offer more potential. I don’t mean to sound preachy, but my son–who is addicted to those games–probably needs restrictions too. He doesn’t set limits on his obsession, so I might need to. Parents generally have your best intentions in mind when they limit computer use. It may not seem very “with it” pf them to have such restrictions, but try to see the value in their message.</p>

7

<p>Is anyone building a house for Habitat for Humanity?
Is there a food bank or a soup kitchen that needs help?
I like the idea of volunteering to help with a kids’ sports team.
You could bring your chess or checkers board to a nursing home and play with the residents; make someone’s day brighter.</p>

8

<p>I don’t live on a farm</p>

9

<p>try <a href=“http://www.VolunteerMatch.org%5B/url%5D”>www.VolunteerMatch.org</a> for opportunities in your area</p>