<p>I have a sister who is in the same grade as me (senior, graduating) but we are not twins. Everyone mixes up our names. Teachers, classmates, administrators, friends, and sometimes our own parents… and usually I laugh it off and think nothing of it. My friends and I joke about how my sister and I are pretty much the same person. </p>
<p>There are 2 valedictorians this year at my high school and our graduation is Thursday. Our names are printed on the front cover, except I found out today that the name printed on the graduation program passed out to everyone is my sister’s, not mine. </p>
<p>I am really disappointed that this happened. Even at Senior Awards, the principal announced my sister as the valedictorian as I walked up onto the stage. Like I said, I usually don’t really care when people switch our names, but high school graduation happens only once, and I know I’m not going to be valedictorian ever again. They really couldn’t double-check the program before printing 5000 copies? It just sucks that they don’t care nor did they really apologize for it. </p>
<p>I would like advice on how to go about dealing with this situation. What would you do? My mom is angry, but my dad doesn’t really care (not exactly the supportive type). Neither of them speak English though, so they wouldn’t be able to talk to the people in charge anyway. I’m going to talk to an administrator at the school tomorrow, and would appreciate any advice on what to say. </p>
<p>I’m making a valedictorian speech also, so I thought I’d add in some joke in the beginning regarding the entire situation, and how nearly half the school thinks I am someone else. </p>
<p>Thank you so much for all your help. I know the situation seems pretty ridiculous, but Valedictorian is not just a title to me. It means so much to me since I’ve worked so hard for it for so long!</p>
<p>From the mom of a child who always seems to be the name left off, this needs to be changed. Your guidance office and administration should be embarrassed by the mistake and should re-print the programs. Unfortunately, the people who made the mistake have never been in your position, so they have no idea what it feels like. Congratulations!</p>
<p>I agree with your suggestion about making a joke. It brings attentionto the situation, which I think you should do, but in a very gentle way. Great idea.</p>
<p>Is this the last time you will ever be in the same school together? If it is, this is a great opportunity for a gentle ribbing, and a thanks to the school for adding your grades together with your sister’s so you could make valedictorian. :)</p>
<p>Oh, and as to what to say. Do you have a copy of the program? If not, explain that you heard that your dear sister was listed as valedictorian and that you hope that will be corrected before graduation. Be very sweet, and say that you know how people get the two of you mixed up, but that you would like to be recognized for the honor you earned. With any luck at all, you will not need to make any suggestions at all as to how to fix it. Take a deep breath before you walk in, and if you are feeling uncomfortable about it, take your favorite teacher with you.</p>
<p>I’m not a parent, but I would be upset too. I would talk to your principal or an administrator that you are closest with and see if there’s anything that can be done…</p>
<p>and especially mention the fact that your worried about the wrong names being called during the actual graduation etc.</p>
<p>First, congratulations on your achievement! You are totally entitled to be upset; I’m a parent and I would be steamed even if it was only a misspelling. You’ll never be able to get them to reprint programs by Thursday but possibly they could put peel-off stickers with your name over your sister’s name. Would return address labels be big enough? If the program cover is a color there might even be stickers of the same color. </p>
<p>MD Mom’s approach is a good one - your attitude should be that of course they will want to try to correct their mistake. I would guess it would take less than an hour to print the required pages of stickers. Then you just need some volunteers to attach the stickers - there must be some activity in the next two days with groups of students sitting around waiting for something! Or maybe the school has a service organization? The administrator should definitely help you find a way to get your recognition.</p>
<p>(And be nice to your sister - it’s not the easiest situation for her either, even if she isn’t the slightest bit envious of your success. And if this works, save one copy of the program with her name just for fun.)</p>
<p>What a shame that they managed to make the mistake not once, but twice. You’d think they’d be on their toes after the first blunder. </p>
<p>If you’re going in tomorrow to talk and the graduation is Thursday, I’d say it’s pretty iffy that you’ll get anything reprinted or corrected. The principal should acknowledge the mistake on the program when he announces you. You can make a small joke, “yes, it’s me, Alex (or whatever)…my sister and I really don’t look THAT much alike…”</p>
<p>One thing I would ask for is that someone make a correction on the master copy on the computer and then print out one or two copies of the accurate program for you and your family to have as a momento. I think it’s the least they could do. </p>
<p>Also, if you have a local newspaper, see if you can write and submit something brief, with your photo, about being one of the two valedictorians for your class, maybe get some correctly spelled acknowledgment that way.</p>
<p>I am outraged for you. Of course you have to be super-sweet in attempting to get this corrected, but wouldn’t it be nice to storm in there and ask them how they would like it if someone else’s name was on their school system retirement program, or (better yet), if their paycheck had someone else’s name on it? </p>
<p>I like the correction sticker idea! But what I don’t understand why students should have to put the correction stickers on instead of the people whose fault it was that the name was wrong in the first place (Guidance?). Let the head of Guidance sit there for hours and correct thousands of programs – I’d say that was a natural consequence and it would never happen again. (If students did the work, there would be no real lesson for the Guidance department and the same thing could happen again.) I’d be surprised if anyone ever owned up to the mistake. What I’ve found is that there is a whole hierarchy of blame when such stupid mistakes are made. (And of course they will try to blame the company that printed up the programs.) Regardless, I’d say it would ultimately fall on the Guidance director. What is incredible is that they have now made the mistake twice. </p>
<p>If your newspaper prints the name of the valedictorians, better check with the newspaper yourself, because despite what this apparently ineffective Guidance office/school says (“Oh, the newspaper has the right name!”), they simply can’t get things right. </p>
<p>Please let us know what happens. There is simply no excuse for this kind of incompetence. After the mistake was found at the senior awards program, some bright bulb should have thought, “Oh, no, what about the graduation programs?”</p>
<p>Here’s a thought. When you give your speech, a little joke about the confusion (mini’s suggestion is clever) is a good idea- then, invite your sister up on stage with you, since you and she get to share in each other’s trials and tribulations, joys and sorrows, etc. Use it as a theme for your val speech – about making your own mark, establishing your own identity and forging your own path as your move forward. Use the mistake to yoru advantage- and springboard of of it to talk about how the future gives each and every one of you the opportunity to make your individual marks on the world. This way you dont have to embarass the administration-- you cleverly use their gaff to your advantage. Its a win-win situation. Keep us posted!</p>
<p>You’ve been offered lots of great advice. I just want to add that you have every right to be mad. This is not a minor thing. If it were my kid I’d be furious. There really is no excuse, and they should be taking steps to correct it without YOU having to ask. And they should be apologizing to YOU. (The sticker idea is an excellent one. And they should definitely print our a couple of clean copies for you as a momento.)</p>
<p>I think the last thing you should do is make a joke. If the program can’t be corrected in time, then the principal or master of ceremonies should offer a verbal correction in front of everyone. You deserve a dignified and serious correction of a mistake that you didn’t make.</p>
<p>Congratulations on your magnificent achievement, and I would like to say how impressed I am by your attitude. You are really going places!</p>
<p>You have every right to be angry about this. That said, I love jym’s and mini’s suggestions! You have a great start for writing your speech. I sure hope that the person who pre-approves the speech doesn’t censor it to avoid the district from taking responsibility for their error and then not correcting it! Make it light and funny, but using the mistake as a springboard to talk about making your own mark, as jym suggested, is a great idea! Somehow they will need to acknowledge that your name is not on the front cover, yet you are the one who is giving a graduation speech (make sure that your introduction is YOUR name, and not your sister’s name).</p>
<p>Boy and I have been upset that my son, the Valedictorian, was not awarded his diploma at graduation. This is an mistake for which there is no excuse. They had to examine your student records to determine you were ranked number 1. I’m sure your name and not your sister’s is on your records. What an exhibition of lack of care. I think you should address it face to face with the principal before the graduation. And I also agree you may want to add a joke about it to your speech. But I disagree about bringing your sister onto the stage. YOU are the valedictorian and it is YOU who should be center stage making that speech. Bringing your sister up there will only add to the confusion. Just another question so I can try to understand this a bit better, are your names similar?</p>
<p>Are you and your sister close, OP? If so, then inviting her up (not for your whole speech, but briefly) was a suggestion of how to launch your speech on individuality and making a <strong>difference</strong> (literally and figuratively). If you and she are close, she is probably also upset for you at the mistake and would be happy to partake in the clever way to rectify it. Yes, it is your event- your opportunity- and you can and should make of it what YOU want. Speeches and ceremonies dont have to be formal and stuffy. Those are often boring and quickly forgotten. But do something clever, and make lemonade out of lemons, and it is likely to be remembered fondly.</p>
<p>I agree that they need to change it. If you and your sister are close, it would be helpful if she went with you to request the change. If the school refuses, let the media know. It would be a good story for the media, and that would embarrass your school into changing the program.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry to hear of this situation. As someone who works in a HS, I think it’s inexcusable that they did not check your name. However, I also know that in our school there have been so many cutbacks that every single secretary and GC are very overworked, and most people have no idea of the immense amount of work that goes into pulling graduation together (chairs, flowers, speakers, programs, security, tickets, etc). I think given the time and cost factor, the chances of reprinting 5000 programs are nil. I think the correction stickers are a good idea. The Principal should announce and apologize right at the beginning of the ceremony for the error, and I think your idea of the small joke at the beginning of your speech is an excellent one. </p>
<p>Again, this is an appalling mistake for someone to make, and it should have been caught. Hopefully your school will learn from this and proof-read more carefully in the future! If you handle this with grace, you will be the bigger person and people will respect you for it.</p>
<p>EDIT - re-reading my first paragraph, the over-work factor is NOT an excuse for getting your name wrong! But it IS a reason that I doubt they’ll be able to reprint the programs at this late date.</p>