Need Advice to Start a Book Club

Parent Cafe
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<p>I belong to a Book Club that’s met once a month since 1999. There were
eight of us women in the beginning and prior to the Book Club we had been carpooling together, vacationing together, and celebrating holidays together.
However, not all of us were friendly as a group but mostly in pairs or trios. Not all of us were avid readers either. We attempted to select books for 3-4 months in advance. Initially, the one making the suggestion would facilitate the discussion. However what happened was that sometimes we all would jump in and talk about the book or other times we would just shmooze. There also were a few women who regularly wouldn’t read but liked to attend for the camaraderie. Sometimes we would select a movie DVD to watch and discuss. Once we went to an off Broadway show about mother-daughter relationships (it was fun even though I am the only member with all sons and no girls). We took turns hosting the monthly meeting and the hostess would provide snacks, desserts, and wine. </p>

<p>The dynamics changed about four years ago when two of the group were diagnosed with cancer. Our Book Club became a support group and we helped drive to chemo and radiation, cook meals, etc. Ultimately one friend died and one survived. Over that period of time, we were too distraught to concetrate and read but we did get together for dinner out and to support one another while grieving; we also took up knitting which was calming. Since then there have been four weddings and four grandchildren born amongst our own kids. Now we are trying to reconstitute ourselves into a Book Club again. We all value our friendships deeply and even the non-readers are now trying really hard to read the selections.</p>

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<p>lovely hearing about reading groups all over the country.<br>
I heard of a reading group that would drive me batty…they don’t attempt to discuss anything, just socialize and everyone has to bring a book to trade. I like a little more tradition/boundaries than that and think that a little definition in the group goes a long way to keep every member feeling a part of things! My interest in non fiction has increased over the years…and I personally love short stories and a couple of my club mates refuse to read those collections gracefully. Funny, but for me, the internet and cyberworld help me feel less “cut off” from conversations and ideas. Although I still read, the internet is “reading” too and has sucked up quite a bit of time I used to sit down and open a book. When I was a young mother, I was almost in tears by the time Book Club night rolled around because I was more isolated and in need of the exchange of ideas and contact. We are no longer defined by naps and playgrounds and our lives are more complex again. We have taken to attending funerals together as our parents pass on, and haven’t had the joy of sharing weddings yet.</p>

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<p>I love the evenings with the women in my book group, but I think I’d like to also be a member of another, more organized group. Your posts have me thinking…I wonder how I’ll find it. Do I have to start it, I wonder?</p>

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<p>I think it is possible to take a step toward suggesting a “year where we try it this way” and consider say assigning the author report to one person each month etc to give your group more of a sense of some focus. A one year trial is a thought…asking the group to come up with four things they can’t do without for instance to make it work. I think it is OK to complain just a little if you want a bit more focus. Our group for instance insists on chocolate. It doesn’t have to be serious but some traditions lead to routines that protect everyones interests.</p>

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<p>Good points, Faline. </p>

<p>But I think I have room in my life for 2 clubs: one interesting but disfunctional and one semi-functional!</p>

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<p>Any suggestions for titles? I am going to the first meeting of a book club tonight- the idea is for folks to suggest something from their home country that would be interesting to the other ladies (who are from the U.K., Australia, etc). Someone suggested I go with Bill Bryson’s ‘The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid’.</p>

<p>(They don’t want to read tragic or overly depressing stuff.) Anyone have any suggestions?</p>

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<p>The Power of One</p>

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<p>Waiting For the Morning Train by Bruce Catton.</p>

<p>He is well known as a Civil War historian (he appeared on Ken Burns’ Civil War series), but this is a memoir of his boyhood in upstate Michigan during the lumber boom. Beautifully and sensitively written, and one of my favorite books. The best term I can think of to describe it is “lovely.”</p>

<p>The Power of One is a terrific book, but I believe it is set in South Africa. Am I remembering correctly?</p>

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<p>Our book group has been meeting for about 7- 8 years. Most of us have at least one daughter who is now a junior/senior in high school, although they attend a different school than my D. ( I knew several of the moms before hand- as my younger D attended private school together- one or two are also in another book group as well)</p>

<p>We get most of our books from the library- they have a separate book club list and we order our books for the year in advance.
We give everyone at least 3 choices- and we try and balance the books between non-fiction and fiction. End up choosing two of everyone’s but the group has veto power & the library decides which order we read them. ( although in spring we read " if Seattle reads the same book") We also use at least one meeting to either watch a documentary or a film that is based on one of our choices.</p>

<p>We have had cookie exchanges at the holidays, potlucks in the summer when we have group in a members garden which is great. When we meet in public we can get raucous ( one member especially for some reason likes to get very vocal concerning plot points that even tangentially have to do with sex- ironically- she is probably the most conservative member of the group)</p>

<p>I do it to have something not connected with either my school or my daughters school, that is regular. I can’t even get my H to commit to a monthly regular outing. Even if I usually have to miss one or two during the year, I look forward to it & have read books that I never would have read otherwise. ( not that, that would have been tragic, but some have been illuminating)</p>

<p>Last book however, several didn’t read, and I wish we had a bit more structure around our choices. Some pick books that they are already very familiar with and love and want others to love them too. ( Even if some of us are never going to like Austen)</p>

<p>I generally pick non fiction, just because I feel that the selections are weighted more towards fiction & because they are often books on topics that I think are less known. But I am not the one who picked Guns, Germs & Steel which was a interesting book, but more than I wanted to read.</p>

<p>I think I am going to suggest that we have “roles” as the kids did when I led book groups in elementary school, so that at least we get a little more discussion out of the book.</p>

<p>Our current book is " Brideshead Revisted" which I first saw on Masterpiece theatre many years ago although I had never read it. So now I guess I will have to rent the mini series as I don’t expect we will have time to watch the whole thing.</p>

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<p>mafool, yes South Africa. It sounded like a fairly international group so I thought I would throw it out there…</p>

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<p>Yes, interestingly enough, several of the choices that came up last night were set in Africa, as several of the ladies have lived there.</p>

<p>Someone brought a copy of “1001 books to read before you die”, which was very interesting to look at and get ideas.</p>

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<p>I just had my first book club meeting Friday night. It was interesting…Started by my SIL, the group is comprised of SIL’s (4 of us) and 2 nieces (27 and 15). Our first book was “The Secret Life of Bees”.
We spent a good hour or more discussing and rating the book. Now we are getting ready to start the 2nd book - Thr3e by J. Dekker. We decided to put everyone’s name in a hat to pull the next person to name the book. We decided that we will respect each others selections and put forth the effort to read the selection.
After Thr3e, it will be my turn to select. I am leaning towards “Tweak” by Nic Sheff.</p>

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<p>Our group meets once a month. One person is hostess and provides the food; another person is the “book reviewer”, who researches some interesting background information about the author, leads the discussion and shares some of the critical reviews. Twice a year we select books 6 months at a time by spirited discussion and consensus.
Usually we read contemporary fiction or world authors in translation and we try to do one non-fiction and one classic per year. Our December meeting is a Poetry Feast Holiday party.</p>

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<p>laxmom – sounds like a great group!</p>

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<p>This is not as crazy as it sounds. We were starting to get some attrition in our group due to the fact that life would occasionally get in the way of reading. I suggested (actually got the idea from one of the reading group guides) that rather than make people feel self conscious about not having been able to read the book that we have an “everyone welcome” policy. Of course most of us really do want to read, which is why we joined a book club in the first place - but it did have an overall positive effect on attendance. Even members who hadn’t quite finished or read the book at all would often be able to contribute to the general discussion and many times they would be anxious to read the book after that. Of course spoilers were always the risk one took if that was the case. </p>

<p>The second thing I suggested when our attendance started to flag was that we should cut down a bit on the entertaining end. Some of our members were real gourmet cooks and our meetings gradually went from dessert and snacks to full course gourmet meals! It had gotten to the point where some of our members were intimidated by the work involved and would make excuses. Lo and behold, when we went back to just snacks and desserts, our attendance improved - once in awhile we still put on a nice function but not as a regular thing. </p>

<p>As far as the books - I never loved the way some of the same people seemed ultimately responsible for suggesting and selecting titles, even though we supposedly chose by consensus. Nothing is wrong with doing it that way , but when we started to ask the host to pick that month’s book, it opened us up to a broader selection and gave everyone a fair chance.</p>

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<p>Our group wants to take turns going to each other’s house but when it came to me, I said I would host it “offsite” which is intriguing to the others. I plan to have it at the local Hard Bean Cafe in our small town. It gets you out of the house with a nice little place to go, some lite music, lite snacks and the wonderful aroma of coffee.</p>