Need advise on Personal Essay (New posters don't bother!)

<p>Hey guys, I just finished my essay and while I think it’s good, I’m pretty sure it’s nothing close to outstanding. I could really use a few pointers as I think the personal essay is what is going to possibly get me into some of my reach schools.</p>

<p>I won’t be sending my essays to any new posters. Post if you want to read!</p>

<p>PM me and I’ll critique it for you!</p>