<p>I am a parent feeling lost at the moment, living overseas as an american citizen with a foreign husband. Married for 20 years, empty nest, well almost!</p>
<p>You can PM me, I am in dire need of some direction. Husband has control over ‘all’ assets that are mainly in his name. I might have some IRA account as I worked in the US before moving away.</p>
<p>There has been a total breakdown on all fronts and I just cannot go on any longer…have lost all self confidence not knowing where to begin even.</p>
<p>If I leave this country and go the the US can I file for a divorce from there? He is a citizen of this country which has some strict laws. I have no support here. 2nd child a HS senior here going to college in the US soon. </p>
<p>basically I need legal advise or someone who has been through this, feeling overwhelmed.
Husband is a control freak with a nasty temper, a bully.</p>
<p>Yes, you can file for divorce when you arrive in the US. You may have to wait awhile to establish residency in whatever state you choose to live in, but that would typically be a matter of months. I know in my home state even if a person has not been a resident long enough to file for divorce, they can file for legal separation, and then later amend their papers to make it a divorce.</p>
<p>Your situation could create quite a mess in terms of financial aid for your son, if that’s a consideration. Has your son already been accepted to a college? What are the plans for financing college?</p>
<p>^^ If dad holds the purse strings he will either pay for college or not, but OP can’t let that be a deciding factor in her personal safety. She has stayed in the marriage long enough to get her kids to young adulthood. On instinct, I would think that if might be good to wait until DS2 gets to US for school before leaving if it’s safe to wait that long. His ability to leave might be derailed by dad otherwise.</p>
<p>OP, I wish I had more that good wished for you. I’m sure someone will post soon who know your situation and can offer what you ask for - “sound legal advice”. Good luck and prayers.</p>
<p>My prayers are with you. Starting over is not going to be easy. If you decided to move, first, you may have to tell your kids that, assuming that they want to live with you, they may have to take a gap year, while you establish residency. I dont know if you have friends or family that will help you with the move, but IMVHO, you should be looking for states that have jobs in your field, less expensive, range of public institutions and cost of living you can afford. </p>
<p>I dont know if you are better off staying in your present country, and trying to get a divorce order there. I dont know if you would be able to enforce any US order and get him to pay in his country. Eventually, he would lose his US passport if he didnt pay, but he may not care.</p>
<p>Thank you all for the wishes, I really appreciate the responses. I do not have any legal standing in this country, my visa expires the moment my child’s visa expires. I will leave once school finishes.</p>
<p>My spouse will pay for the childs college, that’s all I have asked for, I have no strength to fight for myself. I was so engrossed in looking after the kids that I dint keep any control of the finances, hardly anything in joint name, no property. Mainly investments in his name. </p>
<p>I will be able to live with a friend for a bit till I find work and able to pay for rent.</p>
<p>I read up on the laws here and I feel it’s better for me to leave when child leaves. Kids are fine, they want me to be happy and out of the toxic relationship.</p>
<p>crashcourse, Is your 2nd child your youngest?<br>
Yes, that is probably wise. It is also wise to NOT share your plans (leaving and not returning) with anyone, especially your husband and his family.</p>
<p>Do you have family and friends in the US that can help you once you are back here?</p>