Need harsh critiques for University of Redlands Personal Statement Essay?!

College Essays
1

<p>Prompt:A major event in your life, or an ethical dilemma you have faced.
500 words max</p>

<p>Anyone willing to help me edit this essay?
Deadline is March 1st for fall admission.</p>

<p>Let me know, I will PM the essay to you! </p>

<p>Thanks!!!</p>

2

<p>PM me for my email, I wouldn’t mind reading it for you. =]</p>

3

<p>I’ll read it, pm me</p>