Or as my mother used to say, “You don’t want to look like a Christmas tree.”
Love that, @Gourmetmom.
https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/vince-camuto-cap-sleeve-gown/5062360?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FBrands%2FPetite&color=hunter
The above dress is Vince Camuto. The brand makes a lot of petites and the prices are good and the dresses don’t look inexpensive. The dress I think I’m wearing for MOB is this brand and I have found it works with my body shape. Like you I have no defined waist and I find dresses with a defined waist are beautiful they just don’t fit me correctly. I also have not much in the bust. I find a sheath, an A line with a bit of stretch or a dress that drops from below the bust works best.
I don’t dress up much and pretty much live in jeans or athletic clothing. I was surprised to find that I actually was more comfortable in full length dresses. With a long dress I didn’t have to worry about how my legs looked or wearing a high heeled shoe.
I love the dress @Gourmetmom linked and I believe someone else linked something in a similar style. On my body that side ruching would draw the eye to my least favorite section of my body.
Also realize that alterations can be very costly if you do anything but hem.
@Gourmetmom, the link you posted is the dress that appeals to me for my MOB dress in June 2020. It’s a daytime wedding, so I’m really going to advocate for a short dress if my daughter suggests long. I would be so uncomfortable in a long dress. But we’ll see. Although I like dresses that are constructed from a printed fabric, I don’t think it will photograph well, and like someone said, that’s all we will have left after the day has passed.
This thread has been instrumental in helping me get focused on what might work for my situation. Thanks for starting it, @NEPatsGirl!
Check to see what photos they plan to take. I got a long dress as MOG because MOB bought a long dress, even though I would’ve preferred a shorter one. I didn’t want us looking different in the family photos.
Get to the wedding, and there was never a photo taken with me & MOB in the same one. DIL’s parents are divorced, and altho she did take a photo with both her parents (standing on either side of her/the couple), I guess she didn’t want one with both of them standing next to each other. Had I known this, I could’ve gotten a different dress.
I am also in favor of wearing something that makes you feel good - as long as the bride and groom are cool with it, there is no reason not to do whatever floats your boat. D told me I could pick any color I wanted but black (knowing I would not pick white or the champagne color the bridesmaids were wearing because those are colors that look awful on me). I chose a royal blue dress that I absolutely loved - I felt wonderful in it. The MOG had two dresses - one for the church & one for the reception - both very fancy and lovely. Her dresses were “prettier” than mine, but I felt like a million buck in what I wore. We were both happy, even though we weren’t particularly coordinated … the kids were happy that their moms were happy … so all was good.
I have a different opinion than @abasket. I am a very casual person. Jeans, tees and lots of leggings. I am not a dressy person.
But my son’s wedding was my only time for me to wear a fancy dress. My own wedding dress wasn’t that fancy, I never went to prom or any school dances. So this was my only time to put on that sparkly fancy dress with fancy sparkly shoes and I wouldn’t look out of place.
I picked a sparkly ankle length dress with strappy sandals and felt great!
I am not comfortable being the center of attention either. My kids wanted a formal wedding and I had fun picking out a dress that I wouldn’t normally wear.
I also danced the mother son dance and while I thought it would be uncomfortable, I loved it. It was the only time during the wedding celebration that I got to talk to my son and tell him how proud I was of him and how great the wedding was that he and his bride planned
^^^ And that is a success story! You were “in” on the idea and wanted to take advantage of an opportunity to wear a fancy dress.
While I’m guessing it’s a rarity that a MOB/MOG is going to show up in shorts and a tshirt, even once is one too many times to have to succumb to wearing a long fancy gown. I have only wore a long dress once in my nearly 60 years - for my brother’s wedding 41 years ago. It was one time too many for me!
OP may have a change of heart or surprisingly try on a longer dress or more formal dress than she ends up loving. But some of us are not looking for that moment at anytime in a lifetime. It’s not the norm, I can understand that. But it is ok.
Do you have a Lord and Taylor brick and mortar store near you? If so, look there. I got my dress at the now closed flagship in NY…and the alterations were under $30. No hemming needed, but the entire torso of the dress needed to be fitted for me…because the dress was two sizes too big.
If you looked at this dress, you would be hard pressed to see where the alterations took place.
Maybe call L and T and find out how much they charge for alterations for dresses you buy in the store…if a brick and mortar store is near you.
IIRC…if you have a Nordstrom charge…aren’t their alterations at no cost?
@soozievt I love the downton abbey dress! In fact, I was just watching that show the other night, wondering why we don’t dress a little bit more like that!
Nordstrom used to offer free hemming and maybe some minor alterations on non-sale items, no card required. Not sure if this is still the case. Even on sale items, hemming was like $20.
As a future MOB I am finding I do not like anything. I am short but not petite. I do carry my weight in my backside and thighs. So I guess A line for me. I love the dresses they wear in England with the sharp coats.
I have been told that the proper undergarments are a life saver.
I think most dresses I see are boring. I also cannot wear anything that shows a bust.
Then the colors are limiting. As some dresses don’t come in certain colors, plus I don’t want a neck line like my daughter’s or the bridesmaids. NO trains. I think for an older woman and a formal affair tea length would be best if you don’t go full length. I think above the knee is too young and casual (sorry)
My niece is getting married and her mother has chosen her dress already. Jealous.
I don’t want to look frumpy, so jackets are out except bolero. I do like shorter with aboat neck. Have you seen those?
I will find a dress. I live in the same are as OP and prob in the same work field.
https://moncheribridals.com/mother-of-the-bride/cameron-blake/115604sl/ I do like this in NAVY with the proper undergarment. Its kind of a mix of formal and casual.
I love this from @abasket :“Choose a dress that you can’t wait to tear off the hanger and put on. That you will beam with satisfaction and self confidence when wearing it. It’s a dress. A dress for a moment. When you look back at the photos I want you to think ‘Damn, I loved that dress!’ not ‘Ugh, that long formal dress was SO not me’.”
I definitely want the dress to be me but also feel like it’s a special occasion, one of the few times when I can get really dressed up and try something out of the ordinary. For me, it has to be a color I like to wear, feel flattering on, but not too revealing, not require complicated undergarments, etc.
@downtoearth, that navy dress is gorgeous!
I am sorry if this has been posted already https://www.dillards.com/p/adrianna-papell-flutter-sleeve-beaded-lace-sheath-dress/508567763?di=05602180_zi_rose
FMTTM, I like it too. I have lost 15 pounds so far. LOL
https://www.lechicboutique.co.uk/colours/light-and-dark/ Do you think we could relocate to London?
I would wear the longer jacket here. I wonder if it would look out of place without the hat. Anyway…
@downtoearth - that link shows a blank page on my phone. Fyi - many Euro boutiques are happy to ship to the US. Or one can use Farfetch.
I would want to try things on. I am going there but it would be too late. Its just a dream.