<p>To the OP…where is this child’s dad? What does HE say about the school and learning issues? I hope you two are presenting a united front. It can be very unsettling when the parents do not agree on these issues, and the student knows it.</p>
<p>OP, hugs. This sounds like a very challenging situation and you must be exhausted from having been engaged in this for so long.</p>
<p>If I understand your posts… it seems to me that you have one big issue, and then a host of contributing factors, or minor issues, or whatnot. So- again, if I’m assessing your situation correctly, your son is not reading at grade level. period full stop. All the other things in your posts seem to me to be quite secondary- his algebra placement, whether you should have held him back previously, his giftedness… all quite secondary IMHO.</p>
<p>So you need to get a full and appropriate evaluation for potential LD’s. That’s the baseline. I’m sure it is aggravating and confusing for your son, and for sure your frustration comes through loud and clear. But if your son is not reading at grade level (whether he likes to read or not is a completely different issue; whether he enjoys reading anything but comic books isn’t material right now.) you need to move forwards to get that addressed.</p>
<p>You also need to have a little ceremony where you purge the word Gifted or anything similar from your vocabulary. Your son has many strengths-- the dancing sounds particularly cool- but you will be in a better position to advocate for your son when you can get an accurate diagnosis of his issues and then use the clinical language when discussing his needs with school personnel. I know parents like you in real life- they are wonderfully caring and energetic advocates for their children- but in a wide variety of school settings (not just Catholic, Jewish and public) the professionals shut down, even inadvertently, when a parent wants to talk about how advanced their child is in math and the school is trying to look at the bigger picture.</p>
<p>I have read mixed things on the eye business. I would not stake my child’s education on a therapy which is not yet accepted broadly as being helpful. YMMV.</p>
<p>I’ve skimmed through your posts and I think you have larger issues than course placement. Are you certain your son doesn’t have dyslexia, dysgraphia, and/or dyscalculia? A dyslexia tutor can’t diagnose or rule them out; a neurological psychologist can. Does your son skip lines when he reads? Does he avoid reading and writing in front of others? Does he have a normal to high IQ but low standardized test scores? Does he possess some skills, like the ability to decode sight words (especially multi-syllable ones) but not others, like the ability to read with inflection? Does he have trouble expressing thoughts (recounting things he’s read or thinking of the precise words he wants to use)? Can he follow several directions in a row, or is he more likely to remember the first and the last, but mix up the middle? Has he been called lazy,? Is he losing interest in education? Does he believe he’s stupid? Those are all indicators that a larger issue (than laziness or stubbornness) may be at play. You may want to look up the childrens dyslexia centers (it’s a dot org) or the Scottish Rite Centers of Western NY. They have free tutoring programs for dyslexics. I’m not sure if you have to be diagnosed to qualify, but I would definitely check them out.</p>
<p>I don’t understand your comment about it not being “deesirable” to fully home school over issues with one course. You have teachers actively attempting to undermine your son, who are more interested in their own ratings than your son, and who are ignoring approved plans for him; that’s way beyond issues with only one course. </p>
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<p>This makes no sense. If they are not meeting his needs, and you get kicked out for advocating for him, what difference does it make? They’re not meeting his needs anyway. Why would you want to leave him in an environment where they’re not helping him, and going out of their way to undermine him? What a toxic environment for a child. If he were mine, he’d have been removed from that environment a long time ago. If the cost of home schooling is an issue, I would pull him from his current environment and find someplace else to send him. Are there any other private schools in your area that you could enroll him in? If cost isn’t as much of an issue, I’d suggest you look up the NYS home school regulations (search for NYSED 100.10) and investigate home schooling; let him take the Regents, or get a letter of substantial equivalency from your (public) school superintendent, then let him go off to college, or work, or wherever else it is he wants to go. And I’d think seriously about having him evaluated by a professional. Note: Public schools in NYS generally do NOT have staff who can accurately diagnose dyslexia, dysgraphia, and dyscalculia. You have to go to a neurological psychologist. Good luck.</p>
<p>Dyslexia, dysgraphia, and dyscalculia have to be diagnosed by neurological psycholgists. Most NYS schools don’t have those type of professionals on their staffs. I can’t stress strongly enough that I would NOT waste time going through your school district. The help they can give you won’t help you in this situation.</p>
<p>NYS requires two math classes for a Regents diploma. You can find all the requirements at:</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.p12.nysed.gov/part100/pages/diprequire.pdf”>http://www.p12.nysed.gov/part100/pages/diprequire.pdf</a> or by looking up NYSED 100.5 </p>
<p>Erin Mae. I realize you believe this student has a specific disability. But you could be wrong. Also the local education agency just might be able to provide a great educational program for this student if given the ability to get decent diagnostic information.</p>
<p>There certainly ARE students who have disabilities that require interventions outside of the schools stating. But there are also many who benefit from the instruction provided by special education professionals within the public schools.</p>
<p>Unless I’m misreading this (which is very possible given the huge verbiage in each post), this student has never been evaluated at all or had an IEP put in place. The OP was banking on 504 accommodations to remedy whatever was getting in the way of learning. Clearly, these accommodations did not net that result. The only “evaluation” I read about was the developmental optometrist. While maybe a piece of the pie, it likely isn’t the cause of the issues this youngster is presenting. And these learning issues are NOT new…at least 6 years old.</p>
<p>You sound like someone who has had a bad experience with the public schools…but that doesn’t mean that THIS family would. They haven’t exactly had a cakewalk with the private schools.</p>
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<p>If a child is diagnosed with dyslexia, dysgraphia, and/or dyscalculia by a professional, you’re going to come away with so many pages of diagnosis notes, interpretations, and suggestions that you’re going to need a large folder to carry them all. Those issues aren’t the result of visual processing problems or anxiety. They’re caused by structural differences in the brain. I understand you’ve spent a lot of money so far in trying to help your son. I think you’d be better served spending it in the office of a neuropsychologist. I wouldn’t worry about what kind of classes he needs to get a Regents diploma, or how many of those classes he needs. I would take him to a professional and have him tested. Only then can you determine the best course of action for him. Among the skills I would address first, after the evaluation, are reading fluency, retention, and verbal expression. But I’d start with a professional evaluation.</p>
<p>I agree with Erin Mae on the above. You need an thorough evaluation. It sounds to me like reading fluency, retention, and verbal expression (both oral and written) should be parts of the intervention plan. But this will all be based on the outcome of the evaluation!</p>
<p>Also, please look at what you wish to accomplish. You want your child to be a more efficient learner. If this means he has a special education disability, then accept that. Look at what you hope for your end result. A competent and confident learner, with less obstacles to his learning.</p>
<p>And as Erin said…and Blossom too, reading is paramount. It is everywhere, in all subject matter. It’s not just decoding words, but doing so fluently with the ability to garner new meaning from what you read. </p>
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<p>I’m sorry if I give that impression. As a public school advocate in NYS I’m aware of what advantages we offer, and the limitations under which we have to work. The Common Core, unfunded mandates, and 2% Tax Cap are a perfect storm that’s stretching our already slim resources to the breaking point. This family needs the help of a professional that most of our public schools cannot provide for her. If she had a diagnosis in hand, could our schools do her some good? Absolutely. But they can’t help her get that diagnosis. And yes, from what she describes, I really do believe this child has a specific disability. I hope the parents follow up on the advice that numerous posters in this thread have given, just with the understanding that the help they’re assuming our public schools can provide isn’t something they’re qualified to offer.</p>
<p>Erin, whether the family ends up opting for public, private, or home school, I don’t believe they are on the right track without a thorough workup by the appropriate professional (NOT an optometrist, and not by asking the pediatrician his or her opinion.) I think Thumper is trying to point out that attempting a “workaround” without knowing the problem (just the symptom- kid not reading at grade level) is doomed to failure. And that before spending another dime on private school tuition and worrying about the Regent’s requirements… this kid needs a workup.</p>
<p>Thank you Blossom. That is exactly what I meant. Churning Wheels without a thorough, comprehensive diagnostic evaluation.</p>
<p>IEP stands for individualized education plan. That is all. There are quite a few of us with bright/gifted kids who have learning disabilities. It CAN be extremely stressful…I know I was really wacked out when everyone - teachers, GCs, “teacher” family members were telling me there was something “wrong” with my extremely bright little boy, but the testing helped me to understand what was going on. Honestly the only time my son talked to the special education coordinator was at the annual meeting when we’d set some concrete goals and establish what accommodations might be needed. He’s a safety net and one the OP needs. </p>
<p>CI exercises did not help my other son (not the one with dyslexia) and now I think he’s like me…my brain just uses one eye at a time so i don’t “see” with both eyes simultaneously. We’re both had eye surgery, but in both cases it didn’t do much for us. </p>
<p>I still don’t know the difference between a 504 and an IEP, but the IEP worked well for my family and my son…and all that annual documentation and 3 days of testing every three years transferred over to his college seamlessly.</p>
<p>Our public school district psychiatrist administered the testing over 3 days each time through 11th grade which was the last one. I had an extremely positive experience with our public school system (one of the best in our state fortunately) and all the teachers through the years including one teacher who sought me out to ask me about dyslexia because they “didn’t understand” exactly what it was and how it would impact kids. It takes the family AND the teachers working together to bring a student to their maximum potential LDs or no LDs. </p>
<p>And OP- upon re-reading your posts, it seems that much of the “remediation plan” was based on the advice of the dyslexia tutor? I think you will feel enormous relief once your son gets an actual diagnosis, and you can all start to figure out how to address the gaps in his skills.</p>
<p>I agree that if the neuropysch exam indicates he needs an IEP, that a public school may be the only school that will do that.
You shouldn’t be afraid of an IEP, it may be the only way to get what he needs.
<a href=“http://www.ldonline.org/article/6086/”>http://www.ldonline.org/article/6086/</a></p>
<p>I could not get my children’s public schools to pay for neuropsych exams, and they are quite expensive. Remember, if you pay for them, you can decide if you agree or not.</p>
<p>Whether or not the “convergence” issues are real or hooey, the neuropsych will help tremendously with quantifying what is wrong where.</p>
<p>As expensive as a year in a private school which cannot meet his needs? As expensive as watching a kid advance through middle school without being able to read at grade level? As expensive as switching your child every year from school to school in the hopes of finding a teacher who can adapt the curriculum to his learning needs?</p>
<p>I don’t recommend that every time someone’s kid hits a roadblock in school they invest thousands of dollars in a neuropsych eval. (and I have plenty of friends and neighbors who would rather their kid have a “diagnosed” disability than come to grips with the fact that little Jonny or Sally is merely “average” ). But that’s not the case here… this is a kid who has struggled for a long time, and has parents who have already spent a lot of time, aggravation, and money trying to find the right classroom experience for him.</p>
<p>So time to get a diagnosis.</p>
<p>Well, it was $6,000 for two, and the insurance took 6 months to pay us 70%, and we racked up credit card bills. </p>
<p>So that is expensive to us.</p>
<p>As for my kids being “merely average”, they aced all the school tests (one of mine got two perfect math Cogat scores) and then don’t do as well in school. The neuropsych showed that they have specific deficiencies which do not have a major effect on standardized testing they do in schools, but do have a major effect on things like understanding and following verbal directions and short-term memory.</p>
<p>To me, it would be better if they were average and had no disabilities, it is very frustrating to them and their teachers, as they are quite smart but underachieve in their school classes. Which = laziness to many teachers.</p>
<p>You can also get an evaluation from an educational psych, who can be credentialed to administer IQ tests.
This could be cheaper than going to a neuropsych and probably more relevant towards developing the IEP.</p>
<p>I have a highly gifted 8th grade son who sounds very much like your son on the surface, HATES to read, LOVES to game and literally has refused to do his basic course work. He has always passed and sometime excelled because his school scores homework at 10-15% to their grades, etc, and he remembers everything he hears so excels on exams. Over summer 2013, I realized I was 100 enabling him. When you said…</p>
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We went camping for 2 weeks, and everyone read but him, unless there was yelling. We ultimately agreed to allow him to earn comic books (which he was willing to read!)
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<p>What you were saying is “my son can read, he just doesn’t want to and I don’t make him.” You have said so much, it has been hard to follow but what I take from it all is that your son has 100% learned how to play you and his father. He plays his teachers, administrators, etc. Does he have true disabilities? He may. But he has figured out how to not do what he doesn’t want to do. </p>
<p>My son was the exact same way. Then I took the tough love approach knowing high school was looming and it was really make or break. It was literally Armageddon. I was told to jump off a building, go to hell, that he was moving out, that he was going to lock himself in his room and never come out and on and on and on. He told me he hated me, hated his teachers, hated his father, his siblings, everything. After gentle attempts to curb his game use so he would actually READ, he came home to an entire house void of all electronics. Everything. No TV’s anywhere, no computers (my husband and I left ours at the office) nothing. We did this detox for two weeks. (this is when the outbursts occurred) I let his teachers know we were doing this and no “internet” homework could be done during this time and he would need alternatives. They were happy to accommodate. Fast forward 3 months and it is not perfect but he turns in everything, he must manage his electronics usage (I take all power cords from him at 10:00 PM each night…and I probably will the rest of his time with me) All homework is done before he goes upstairs to his man cave. And he must read for an hour (it can be anything and he usually picks the newspaper) NO EXCEPTIONS. It is not always easy but my B and sometime C kid is now a straight A student in all advanced classes and has the skills he needs for High Schools. I honestly thought I had “lost” him during the detox period but he said it was the best thing that has ever happened to him.</p>
<p>If you want to turn a kid with disabilities off of education, assume they’re playing everyone around them. Assume they’d rather be yelled at, threatened with various punishments, called stupid and lazy, and force them into classes (either accelerated or remedial) that are not a good fit. I have seen oppositional teens who read only comic books, avoided homework, and failed standardized tests blossom when someone cared enough to get to the root of their problem and address it. </p>
<p>I think it’s very easy to say a child is playing people, or lazy, or just not a good student when we don’t want to face the possibility that there may be a legitimate problem going on. As difficult as it may be to acknowledge your child has a LD (or some other condition), I believe the difficulty of living with it is much greater. Living with it while no one is addressing it must be so much worse. The relief I’ve seen in students who’ve been able to put a name (other than stupid) to their struggles has convinced me that seeking the help of a professional is a good thing. </p>