<p>My son 16 year old sophmore son has played soccer for about ten years and travel soccer for about 6, and this year, has on opportunity to play for a really good club that is an hour away. It never would have occurred to me to support such a thing, until one of the kids here on CC noted that he did it ( traveled an hour each way, several times a week, to be in the “right” club). While I realize many parents spend hours weekly supporting their kids serious extracurriculars, I struggle to see my son as “serious”. He’s one of those kids who got noticed early because of natural ability, and not because he was working hard, and not because we were “into it”. So we all just sort of went along, and let the chips fall where they may, and over time his peers caught up with, and then surpassed him. This was especially apparent over the last year. We grieved, but we got over it, and relished our new found freedom. In the last several months, he has really stepped up his effort, and without way help from us, made it his mission to get on to a better team and hopes to play soccer in college (and yes, I told him there are many ways to enjoy soccer in college). Although he drives, I know I will be doing plenty of driving and waiting too. Any thoughts?</p>
<p>Is he a sophomore or junior? If he’s a junior, there may be limited benefit in this commitment as far as college recruiting. Is there anything he’s currently doing that he would have to give up in order to play on this team?</p>
<p>For us, playing on travel teams in other towns was both the best of times and the worst of times. There will definitely be negatives, but only you can decide if they outweigh the positives. One nice aspect is that you might enjoy meeting a new group of people you can converse with while he’s practicing.</p>
<p>Will this be during the school year? Is he good enough to make the HS team? If so, would this help or hurt his HS academics and other activities? Are the 3+ hours per days of practice (or more) worth it? Do you want to devote that much of your life to the sport. Will he possibly get a college position/scholarship because of the difference in team quality? If not, I would veto it. YOUR time is worth more than spending 3+ hours for practices, plus game time. The reality is you do not live in that area and soccer is an extracurricular, not the key to his future. He needs a reality check- sounds like you want support for your good decision to rein in the teenager. Time for him to branch out and spend more time with other closer to home activities. Good luck.</p>
<p>Thanks!</p>
<p>Sophomore. And do I still have to watch? It makes me crazy, and they seem kind of old for that. Probably will only give up video games, since the team breaks for the High School season. Won’t be giving up homework since he doesn’t do it. I’m kind of kidding. He’s not that into school, but that is also something he is stepping up lately.</p>
<p>Wis; just saw your post. He has been a starter for his HS term since freshman year when he was "rookie of the year; and last season he was voted “all section” or something like that, by coaches in the other schools in his section His school finished second place. Still; small school, small section. Thinks for your input. And no, I’m not dreaming of scholarships. At best, I’m hoping it might balance out his 3.0 GPA. (okay PSAT’s though).</p>
<p>I have a very different take. It “sounds” as if your S has worked hard for this. Surely, you knew he was doing so. If you did and didn’t make it clear that you would NOT be willing to drive him, then I think you may have one angry teenager on your hands if you now say no. It also sounds as if, whether or not soccer is in the future, this is a kid who doesn’t normally work that hard who has done so without any pushing by you. </p>
<p>It also “sounds” as if he’s trying harder in school. I’m not sure that effort is going to continue if you say no. I would, though, lay out some rules–if the gpa plummets, he’s off the team.</p>
<p>I say if at all possible, let him do it. If you don’t want to watch, I don’t think you have to watch. This is his thing–just do what ever is necessary to make it happen–no more.</p>
<p>joni; I funny yo should mention the “making it clear” part. This whole process has reminded me of some kids experience with applying to a college, and having a parent say they can’t go. I confess, I watched it unfold, but really didn’t think be could do it. I’m proud of him, and let him know, but I’m not at all sure he doesn’t WANT me to say no. I don’t think so though. We don’t have much time left to decide, so I may be willing to try for month, then quit if it’s too much, something we’ve NEVER let him do before.</p>
<p>In our area, driving an hour to be on a better club soccer team is done routinely. We are in a soccer “hotbed,” so much college recruiting is done here. Many kids go on to play college ball. So parents consider the driving to be an investment in their kids’ future. It takes commitment from all parties, but I know a LOT of people willing to put in the time/gas/miles/money.</p>
<p>Two of my Ds played competitive/rep/travel soccer for several years. It wasn’t a matter of travelling to another town for a better team, as our club is one of the best (and the largest) in North America. However, many of the teams they played, and to whose fields we had to travel, were more than an hour away. It was a large commitment, both for my Ds and for us. Here, most parents still attend every game, both home and away, even when the kids are in late teens. The parents who don’t attend are usually the ones who never did. </p>
<p>So, did your son try out for this team and was chosen? That’s how it works here, but maybe not where you are. If your son has worked hard and achieved a place on this team, I wouldn’t now tell him that he can’t do it. I also wouldn’t go into it with the view of trying it for a month. That really wouldn’t be fair to your son or to the rest of the team. </p>
<p>Re: the college angle to all of this, I wouldn’t look at it through that lens. My Ds chose extra-curriculars for sheer enjoyment not for what might be beneficial in college admissions. I agree that this opportunity for him is likely to have limited benefit in the college admissions process.</p>
<p>Thank you alwaysamom.</p>
<p>Yes, he went to tryouts and got selected. It was a “development academy” tryout, that is done together by two of “our” best teams. He didn’t make the academy, but he got an offer for a B team, 50 minutes away, and a much better A team, 65 minutes away. We are used to driving hours to games and tournaments, but driving an hour to practice would be new for us. And sigh…yes I’ve always been there for games, both school and travel, not to mention the tournaments, and driving the kids of parents who didn’t show, etc, but I was liking the years of the less competitive teams. Also, he got his license about 6 weeks ago, and that’s how hes been able to get to practice, try outs, and indoor games without us lately. He also has a ref license, and has been able to get to those games and make a few bucks as well. We never thought of this as a college admission thing ( he won’t be on the radar for schools that care about EC’s), and have stressed that with him, but I think HE is hoping it will help him play in college. I must add that I miss the days when he played with joy…now it just looks like resolve and determination. I’m not sure he’s having much “fun”. I DO know he usually likes being with the other players, and of course, winning. He says right now he’s focused on “getting better”. I’ve been around the game long enough that’s not going to happen with our local U 17 coach, God bless him.</p>
<p>Both of my sons played competitive travel soccer which included playing in the region 1 tournaments for 8 consecutive years. Make sure your son understands that although he has been selected for this opportunity there probably isn’t any guarantee of playing time. With some teams it can be very hard to get off the bench for quality playing time, especially if you are new to the team and are not a superstar. My sons always preferred to be on the teams with the best players even when it cut into their playing time as playing and practicing with better skilled teammates helped increase their skills.</p>
<p>Try to get as much information as possible regarding all team commitments such as practices, game schedule, tournaments and expected expenses before the decision is made.</p>
<p><a href=“he%20won’t%20be%20on%20the%20radar%20for%20schools%20that%20care%20about%20EC’s”>quote</a>,
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<p>I think most schools understand that when you play soccer with elite clubs, kids have very little time for ECs… especially if he is somehow able to notate on his application that this soccer team was such a huge time commitment.</p>
<p>And honestly, if he does stick it out, and makes all the practices, games, etc., and keeps up with academics, it says a lot about his commitment, loyalty, determination, etc.</p>
<p>I know one kid down here who travels to St. Louis (about 2.5 hours) for soccer 4 nights a week! And then they play on the weekend! And I’m pretty sure he’s already signed to play DI soccer next fall.</p>
<p>I personally feel that kind of traveling is crazy, to each his own.</p>
<p>“Try to get as much information as possible regarding all team commitments such as practices, game schedule, tournaments and expected expenses before the decision is made.”</p>
<p>Hey! I’m not a n00b! I’ve studied these clubs as much as I studied colleges! I used to spend all my time on soccer coaching forums before I came to CC. Never thought I was “one of them” soccer moms, though. Never thought I’d be considering a club an hour away.</p>
<p>But thanks. </p>
<p>And yeah, I’m guessing he may be riding the bench, but the training will be there, and I hope the club isn’t so political that he can’t get time if he deserves it. I’ve really checked the clubs bylaws, constitution, mission statement, etc. Coach may not have. By-laws say we get a week after a written offer to decide ( and can change our mind after up to 72 hours), but he doesn’t seem to know that…</p>
<p>With regard to colleges, academically I’m only willing to consider paying for the CSU’s, although my H may disagree. I’d be especially happy to hear any regional opinions. We were seriously considering Santa Clara for my D, and they offered her serious merit… I almost cried when she wanted something else, but academically, she worked for it (or so I thought…).</p>
<p>If I thought he could get Sana Clara at UC prices for my son, that world be SWEET!</p>
<p>Shrinkrap, I want to wish your son, and you!, luck with this decision. Soccer was an important part of the lives of all in our family for many, many years. I spent more hours at soccer fields than I could possibly count during those days. I can’t say that I loved every minute of it, but it was close to every minute. I volunteered for years as a convenor with our club, building house league teams in one age group, 300+ kids. I knew those kids well after doing the same age group for 8 or 9 years, I watched those girls grow up! 
I still run into some of them in town, and their parents, and it’s always nice to stop and chat. This was on top of my 5Ds teams. I also worked as a team manager for one of my Ds rep team for 6 years. There is much about those years that I miss now that my girls are grown. Only two still play, and only for pleasure in a women’s league. A third plays for her law school team. I don’t get to go watch anymore, which is kind of sad. If I happen to be out and about town in the evening from May through September and am passing one of the dozens of soccer fields in town, I often pull over and watch for a bit. Enjoy the driving and spending time with your S at games while you can! :)</p>
<p>Parent of athlete here … so my take may differ. We want to teach our kids about working hard for a reward. We want to teach our kids to cope with failure. We want to help our kids realize their dreams. </p>
<p>I was amazed and humbled when I went into my son’s room during the spring of his junior year and saw his goals for the spring taped to the wall. AND his plan on how to get there. And then I watched him do it and carry out the plan and achieve the goals. </p>
<p>Isn’t that what we want? Does it matter if it’s soccer or math? Or if soccer is the motivation to stick with the math? (Cuz if he wants to play in college, he needs the grades <em>and</em> the athletic skills)</p>
<p>I say support him as long as he is having fun and working to meet his own goals. (Pls. note HIS goals, not yours!)</p>
<p>Thanks all! Do I have any goals? Just being able to pay full freight for it without resentment. My D is on her way home, end of freshman year. We just “bickered” over hard covered books she wants to ship home. We had the same conflict when she was leaving (for Duke if it matters .)</p>
<p>Thanks all!also Nrdsb4, cnp55, teriwtt, hopscout.3katz. Did I miss anyone?</p>