<p>I would be very grateful if someone would grade me essay/tell me how it is.
For my intro, i opened with my thesis and wrote two more sentences briefly describing my examples in the bodies. Also, I made up my examples, but I heard that was completely fine for the SAT. I filled up all two pages. Thanks!</p>
<p>Essay Prompt: Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private?</p>
<p>People should not contain their feelings and thoughts from their family members and close friends as this will lead to stress and hardships. Rick Reline, the main character from the novel, Cherished Winds, by Jeremy Hallback, keeps many of his emotions private after the death of his parents and as a result suffers from depression and other troubles. Similarly, Jeff Kinglsey, a friend of mine, faces many problems for performing poorly on the ACT and not sharing his thoughts with his parents. </p>
<p>Rick Reline, from Cherished Winds, suffers tremendously for keeping his thoughts and emotions private from his close friends. Reline is an average high school student who is an only child. His life, however, is tremendously altered after his parents die in a car crash and Reline is forced to live with a nearby cousin who he is not well acquainted with. Reline decides to keep the death of his parents and his emotions regarding this traumatic event private from his close friends. Reline has no one to confide with and as a result, spirals into depression. Thoughts of suicide, running away from home, and dropping out of school plague Reline’s mind until he finally express his feelings with his closest friends. Only then does Reline truly overcome the loss of his parents and feel better. Clearly, Rick Reline suffers many stresses and hardships because he keeps his thoughts and emotions private from his close friends.</p>
<p>Another example, substantiating the claim that “keeping thoughts private leads to many hardships and troubles” can be seen in the life of Jeff Kingsley, a friend of mine. Kingsley was a bright student who did well in school. His parents believed very highly of him and his academics. However Kingsley did poorly on his ACT because he became sick on the day of the examination. Kingsley, like Reline, keeps his thoughts and actions private from those were close to him. In this case, Kingsley keeps the truth of his ACT mishap and his true scores private from his parents because he did not want to disappoint them. Furthermore, Kingsley still applied to the nation’s top colleges even though he had a poor ACT exam because he did not want his parents to realize that he did poorly on his ACT exam. Eventually, Kingsley is rejected from all the colleges he applies to and he falls into a life of crime after not being able to secure a job. According to the Freewood Gazette, a local newspaper, Kingsley was arrested on April 5, 2006 for attempting to rob a convenience store. Thus, Kingsley suffered these various problems and hardships because he kept his thoughts and feeling private from his parents.</p>
<p>Rick Reline, from Cherished Winds, and Jeff Kingsley, a friend, both suffered tremendously because they kept their thoughts private from the people they were close with. The concept of privacy, however, does not solely apply to Cherished Winds, or the sad story of Jeff Kingsley. If all people were to share their thoughts and emotions with those they were close with, many conflicts and difficulties would be alleviated.</p>