<p>Let me start with the fact that I mostly hate talking on the phone.
My hearing is poor and I find it difficult to follow and read people when I cant see them.
My family and friends know me and tolerate my weirdness. I dont want or need to explain this to casual callers.</p>
<p>I mostly use email or hope to leave voice mail for acquaintances. There are a few people I NEED to call occasionally that i dread each time. Yesterday, it was the leader of a parents group. She invests tons of her time for all the group members benefit. VERY bright, energetic and hardworking woman with her own family, a FT job, etc but I ended up on the line with her for most of an hour. She was so excited to share the plans for the group that i found it difficult to cut her off. She kinda ran right over my “so I should let you go” comments…</p>
<p>I’d love a few canned comments to try. Again, these are not spam callers. They’re people on my peripheral circle who I value and do not want to disrepect. I just would like to not allow them so much of me.
Help me get a NICE backbone!</p>
<p>I am sorry to interrupt- I just checked the time and was so caught up in our conversation that I am going to be late if I don’t take off now. Thanks for filling me and feel free to be in touch later. </p>
<p>Really appreciate all of your effort and information. Unfortunately, I have to go now. I’ll look forward to hearing from you if anything else comes up. </p>
<p>Oops- lost track of the time and I need to excuse myself now. </p>
<p>Short and sweet rules here. Stated politely, no rudeness involved in needing to end a call. If hearing issues make it impossible to get the info or tasks done, and someone is counting on the call to achieve that, then at times, you might want to propose an alternative way to reach the goal, especially if there is ongoing work. </p>
<p>Good luck. It will be fine once you have your words, </p>
<p>I’m also hard of hearing, though I find it EASIER to hear dedicated voices in my ear than face to face, but I like KKama’s idea best. Saying you’re not hearing the conversation well usually stops people. For me, it’s face to face chatters. I mean, if they think you’re not hearing them, why keep talking? If that doesn’t work, any of travelnut’s suggestions work.</p>
<p>Oh, no!
The goal is to limit my time commitment, without being rude.
I really have no intention of accepting the invite for a face to face which would SURELY be extended!</p>
<p>Just tell them that you aren’t auditory, and you would like to hear more of their ideas in person/ email.
But I know what you mean.
I hate talking on the phone, but even in person, some people tell such long involved stories, that it is difficult to extricate myself so I can get on with my day.
I go swimming 2 or 3 times a week and occasionally go in the hot tub after.
Yesterday,in the hot tub, I was talking to a very friendly woman who recently started coming at the same time as me, and she started an ancedote, only it turned into a very long story. Very long story, and the longer it goes on, the harder it is to just stand up and get out.
With people I know better, I just say I have to take the dog out or go pee, ( which are true), but I wonder why it is harder with people that I don’t know well enough to remember their names?</p>
<p>EK4, thanks, I am happy I’m not the only one…</p>
<p>Yeah, I can be honest with friends and they understand me.
I guess i need to stop caring about my impression to less close people. </p>
<p>Honestly, why do those “long story” people think others want to know soooooo much detail?
A parent recently monopolized an entire hour of several parents time while we waited for our young adults attending a seminar. We heard her immediate family history, her daughter’s FRIENDS rocky family dynamics, many involved teacher bashing stories (and im the proud mother of a public school teacher), etc etc.
We were all kinda stuck, deer in the headlights!</p>
<p>Kinda hate to admit this but I go to my front door and ring my own doorbell. It is a very loud “chiming” bell. I know the person can hear it because I am standing right beneath that inside “box” where the chimes come from. Then I just say “oh looks like my repairman just arrived, have to run.”</p>
<p>Start out the conversation by saying, “Mary, I’m so glad I got a hold of you. I only have 10 minutes to chat before I’m due for an appointment, but I wanted to make sure you knew …” blah blah blah. </p>
<p>And then stick with it. “I do have to run now, but thanks for letting me know blah blah blah. Take care.”</p>
<p>I’m an introvert, so long chatty conversations with people who aren’t in my innermost circle are exhausting to me. “Well, I need to run. Talk to you soon” usually works for me, but I don’t have your auditory problems. </p>
<p>You could set up your exit at the beginning of the conversation. Like “Hi Jane, I have a few minutes before I have to go pick up Suzy. What’s the latest?” Or “I have some cookies in the oven, but I have a few minutes before they’re done,” and set the oven timer and stand next to it. That puts it in her head from the start that this won’t be an endless gabfest. </p>
<p>Or – probably better – you could just explain your auditory issues and say, “I enjoy your updates, but phone conversation are really difficult for me. I definitely want to stay in the loop. Could we move this party to email?” That’s not an outlandish request in this day and age. And she has other people who will probably welcome the verbal downloads.</p>
<p>I especially like the idea of setting up the exit at the start of the call. I think it will make me more comfortable with sticking to a reasonable time frame.
ALMOST cant wait to try them out! :)</p>
<p>These are all good ideas. If you have caller ID, no need to pick up. If you have something that measures your steps and you want to get to 10,000+ per day, just walk around while on the phone. Good exercise.</p>