<p>After years of denial, my college age son recently acknowledged he has OCD and has started to see a psychologist specializing in OCD and other anxiety disorders for treatment. Due to privacy laws, I don’t know the details of his treatment without his permission. The psychologist has great credentials and I have to trust she will get results. I do want to get this right and get the right kind of treatment for him; otherwise, I’m afraid he won’t stick with it or become frustrated. At this point, son has disclosed some of his rituals - but not all. I think he’s embarassed about some things. This is all so new to us, what should we avoid doing and what can we do to support him? In the fall, son is returning to college in another state. I know he should continue counseling and treatment. Are there any parents with similiar experience that has advice? I would be grateful to hear what you have to share.</p>
<p>I’ve sent you a Private Message.</p>
<p>While privacy laws prevent your son’s therapist from speaking to you, nothing stops you from speaking to her. If you believe there are things that she should know that your son won’t tell her, you can tell her yourself. She will know when it’s appropriate to discuss these things with him.</p>
<p>Good luck to you all.</p>
<p>Dear Chedva,
The psychologist said she wants to have an open and trusting relationship with her patients and I need my son’s permission to talk to her. Anything I do share with her, she’ll share with my son. I’m not trying to direct the psychologist and I’m not a meddling mother, I’m simply trying to help my son.</p>
<p>Trust your son and this therapist. Your son informed you he was seeking treatment, and shared some of his problems. When he is ready, he will share more. Perhaps you can do a conference call with therapist and son, when they are together in T’s office.</p>
<p>OP-You have no choice but to abide by the stipulations set by the psychologist. Your son is an adult, please respect his privacy and judgment. Although it may be difficult for you to be out of the loop, this is not the time to make it about your need for information. Be grateful he is seeking help from a conscientious professional.</p>
<p>Have you asked your son whether or not he would be okay with your talking with his psychologist? Tell him you’d like to support him through this and help him in any way you can, and tell him that you wouldn’t talk to the therapist until after he had given her his permission and had set ground rules as to what the therapist is and isn’t allowed to tell you.</p>
<p>The psychologist’s desire to have an open and trusting relationship with her patients has no bearing on whether or not she may discuss your son’s treatment with you–privacy laws and professional ethics require that she not discuss his treatment with you. You can talk with your son, though. </p>
<p>Still, give him space… I know that with my own treatment for an anxiety disorder, my parents sometimes inadvertently set it off when they try to get involved in my own treatment, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t love them and that I don’t need them. I just need my own space to sort things out occasionally, and even the most caring and gentle of parenting won’t replace my need for having some neutral ground like a therapist’s office.</p>
<p>I don’t know why people are so into the idea of talking to the therapist in some way, shape or form (especially after Whatsamomtodo clarified that she did not want to do that). He’s in college. He shared the information with her about his condition, and that he was seeking help. If my mom tried to talk to my therapist about anything, even just giving information, I would consider it a violation.</p>
<p>I don’t know your son, and the situation is different for everybody. I agree with the idea to give him space, be ready to listen if he brings it up, but don’t insist on bringing it up and asking lots of questions about treatment yourself, and just be generally understanding, I think. If it’s affecting a situation where he isn’t doing quite as expected, be flexible. Sometimes it’s a quite a long road through treatment, so don’t expect him to be “cured” immediately. Issues are still going to come up, and might even get worse temporarily as he addresses them. Other than that, I would say you need to try to trust the relationship there and that your son is getting what he needs.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your input! Please allow me to clarify, I’m not seeking to influence the psychologist at all, she is highly regarded in her field. I simply want to give her some information about a person that is negatively influencing my son. Son is clueless about how this person is using him and is defensive when I try to gently point out their motives. Please share your experiences and advice if you’ve dealt with someone who’s had OCD. I’m trying to do the best for my son and to support him and I’m trying to educate myself too.</p>
<p>I have OCD. In your last post you mention someone influencing him in a negative way. Are you thinking that is what caused his OCD? In most (if not all) cases that is not true. Someone cannot influence you to have OCD. Usually either a traumatic event and/or a chemical imbalance causes OCD. In my case almost 13 years ago as a teen I had a gun pulled on me and that triggered my OCD. I have go to therapist off and on over the years and been on many different drugs to control or end my OCD. I finally got tired of that and worked on fixing the issues myself or dealing with the cards that were dealt me. My OCD is more controlled now then it ever has been in therapy, I probably will never be cured of it but I can live with it now.</p>
<p>There are no quick fixes for OCD. It may be a year or years before things get better. Just be supportive when he needs it.</p>
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<p>If your son isn’t ready to accept that this person is negatively influencing him, the therapist won’t be able to make him accept it, either. You’ve made it known to him that you think that this person’s motives aren’t good-- that idea is rolling around in your son’s head, and next time that person negatively influences him, chances are good that he’ll remember what you said and be more cognizant of the idea that he’s being taken advantage of. Give it time… you can’t force someone into realizing something and taking it to heart immediately, they usually have to come to that conclusion themselves.</p>
<p>I know this person’s not the cause of his OCD, but they have a personal agenda. I’m trying to open his eyes.</p>
<p>I’m told that commenting on their rituals is not helpful because it adds to the anxiety. Is that true? What can I do to help?</p>
<p>For me it actually helps to talk about this stuff. For others it might not be that way or if the person they open up to is not supportive it can hurt more than help. While it helps me to talk about it, I do not trust therapists and cannot fully open up to them.</p>
<p>Rebel - Did you try CBT or ERP therapy? If so, what were your experiences? </p>
<p>It’s very difficult to find good therapists that are trusting and sincere and capable.</p>
<p>Back when I saw therapists it was mainly how you doing here is some meds type deal. My last one did some talking but when you can’t open up to them it don’t help.</p>
<p>On my own I do a combo of the two you listed. I have use Dr. Burns book: [book</a> list](<a href=“http://www.feelinggood.com/books.htm]book”>http://www.feelinggood.com/books.htm) Top one. It alone has helped me a lot. I like working through this one my own because I can do it at my pace. I don’t have to push my self to an uncomfortable level. I can gradually move forward as needed. And that has helped me a lot.</p>
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<p>Depending on the type of treatment, the severity of OCD, the client’s motivation, etc, continued treatment may or not be necessary in the fall, as OCD treatment can sometimes be very self-directed, and, in some cases, relatively quick. But this is highly variable and is a decision that your son and his psychologist need to make together before he returns to school.</p>
<p>CBT and ERP are generally quite effective for OCD, though, of course, each person is different.</p>
<p>(This isn’t a professional opinion of any kind, and I’m not remotely qualified to give one as it is.)</p>
<p>Maybe my story will help you. My son has OCD, it runs all through my husband’s family. We were always worried that one of our kids would get it and I denied the signs that my son had it until I couldn’t ignore them anymore. He was 13 when I finally admitted that he had OCD.</p>
<p>He started seeing a psychologist and it didn’t help right away. After about 4 months the psychologist said that we needed to start thinking about medication but before it got to that point my son had a breakthrough. He’s a lot better now, in fact he can stop seeing his psychologist if he wants to, but he really likes him so he wants to keep going. He’ll always have the disease, it’s just a question of who is in charge, my son or the OCD.</p>
<p>I understand you desire to help, I was terribly upset when I realized my son had OCD. Everyone is right, by law the psychologist cannot discuss your son’s case with you. There is no reason for you to talk with her, let her do her job. If she is a good psychologist then hopefully she can help. Any information you need you can get from your son. He’ll let you know if the treatment is helping.</p>
<p>Getting treatment for this terrible illness is important. There is a lot of room for optimism here, this disease is understood much better now than it used to be and there are effective treatments available. You have a lot of reason to be hopeful and I will hold a good thought for you.</p>
<p>While this suggesting will not cure the OCD, in my experience it drastically helps with pure O style OCD</p>
<p>1 gram of Pure Omega 3 Dish oil per Day
No Caffeine
No Trans Fats and as little saturated as possible
Other then this try and eat as healthy as possible, limiting Omega 6 and 9.</p>
<p>^may be good for your diet but has nothing to do with OCD.</p>
<p>No, really, crazy as it sounds, fish oil really helps in all cases of mental illness. They aren’t sure why. Not a CURE. But it really helps. Red meat, too. (B vitamins). Really, it can take the edge off. It’s something about the synapses…particularly in cases of anxiety.</p>