<p>OK, I’m sorry for posting again, but I wanted to ask something and someone here might have more expertise than I do, and since I have Asperger’s and might not be the expert when it comes to insight about people, I’ll let my love of message boards do the talking. I have a friend who is majoring in computer engineering, but she does not act like she is interested in what the major is really about. I was talking to her the other day, and she was talking about this hardware class that I had already taken that she really didn’t want to take. She was only taking it because the other alternatives weren’t appealing. She instead was talking on and on about taking linear algebra and other math courses for a math minor. What I can’t understand is how someone could be interested more in something else than what they’re majoring in. I really want to help my friend like her major more, and I want to understand why she is in love with math more than engineering. To me, I would focus on whatever my major or majors were instead of wasting time on something outside your major or majors. Keep in mind that this girl is queen when it comes to math, she has a million math-related t-shirts, and both of her parents are math teachers. I want to help my friend be honest with herself so that she can have a more fulfilling life, because well, she is someone I care about. So I’d be happy to hear input from experienced adults out there. That’s why I come here. Thank you for any comments you can offer.</p>
<p>My guess is that your friend loves math, but may think there are not the jobs out there for her interest, so is is doing computer engineering because she hopes it will get her a career. Just because her parents are teachers, she may not want to be one.</p>
<p>The idea of studying something “practical” - That is very common and very normal. She is doing what she thinks she needs to do to succeed. And at the same time, doing something she loves-math. </p>
<p>What you can do is support her, listen to her talk about her math, and talk about what you like about what you are doing. She is an adult and is trying to make adult decisions. She probably can’t figure out why you love engineering so much!!!</p>
<p>Let it be. Just be her friend. That is enough, I promise.</p>
<p>I understand that she needs to have a job, but what’s the use of a job if you can’t enjoy it? If you can’t get excited about what’s involved in what you’re studying? I still don’t understand why someone would do something and be in love with something else.</p>
<p>Thank you and please keep commenting.</p>
<p>Hey, people do jobs all the time that would not be their first choice. Many people would love to do research their whole lives. My H is a contractor- building things. It probably wouldn’t be his first choice again- he loved architecture, but practicalities led him to do contracting and we live a very nice life- not just money wise either.</p>
<p>How many people can “Just do Math” for a living. Not that many. Your friend is doing what she likes- she is minoring in math. The other work, is what she feels she needs to do. Obviously your friend is very smart, so she has thought this through. </p>
<p>Just let it go. We can never understand all the decisions our friends make. </p>
<p>And remember, many many many people is this world do things that aren’t the favorite things to do to take care of themselves, their families and their future. That is a very mature way to be.</p>
<p>Trust your friend.</p>
<p>In all porbability, her future is not as black and white, or as linear as you are projecting. </p>
<p>Aren’t you lucky to have such a smart girl as a friend. Relax and enjoy her company! With time, you may better understand her motives. And her future may surprise you…</p>
<p>I would be honest with her, tell her you have noticed certain traits in her behavior (that she speaks highly of math, and lowly of computer classes) and that you are curious as to whether she is really enjoying herself . . . you could almost read off the end of your original post</p>
<p>if the issue is employability, then maybe you should have her talk to people in the math department, and her parents.
I think pure math is hard a field, but if she enjoys applied stuff like mathematical modeling, maybe she can pursue a career in operations reseach, as an actuary, or the ever popular finance, etc. I think there’s plenty she can do . . . linear algebra in particular is one of the more “useful” courses in math departments . . .</p>
<p>In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; in practice, there is. I could make enough money to support a family by doing only what I love, in theory. Practically, I have found less enjoyable but more profitable skills to be quite useful. The young lady in question seems to value both theory and practice. You would do better to appreciate that than question it.</p>
<p>Thanks for all of the advice, guys. I was a little confused because I had observed behaviors from her that would indicate that she is not that interested in computer engineering, at least the hardware part of it, which I feel is really emphasized at our school. For example, when we worked together as lab partners in a semiconductors lab class, she basically just sat back and really didn’t do much work. She mostly talked about video games like Homeworld and Starcraft and the such. And when she did do work, she acted really incompetent by not knowing how to measure things such as voltage and current, and I had to show her over and over this and explain what this was and that was. Now, she is talking about doing software engineering. I was concerned because I heard that programmers are fired after about five years or so and replaced with a new generation of fresh graduates. I don’t why this troubles me so much when I hear this on other message boards. And of course there’s outsourcing to worry about. I guess I really want someone who seems to be so bright, so beautiful and intelligent (kind of like Jadzia Dax on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) to have a bright future, because I care about her deeply because she was one of my first engineering friends at school.</p>
<p>Sigh, I know I probably shouldn’t interfere and let things be, but part of me wants to do so because she is my friend. I’d appreciate any further comments.</p>
<p>Bio,</p>
<p>OK, I’m starting to get the picture. You have a beautiful and intelligent young lady who is:</p>
<p>1) repeatedly asking for your help with simple tasks that you suspect she could do herself, </p>
<p>2) speaking with you about stuff that is particulalry likely to interest a techie/science fiction fan of the male persuasion, and</p>
<p>3) quite likely perceiving that you are interested in her. (Judging from the way you write about her; it is probably even more obvious in person.)</p>
<p>We have a couple of possibilities here. She could be interested in you too, or she may have just wanted a good lab partner. If you care to find out which is the case, ask her out for coffee or dinner once the final lab of the semester is done. If she accepts, let her talk about herself without being judgmental or offering unrequested advice.</p>