Need Some Advice On Complicated Situation

Colleges & Universities University of California - Los Angeles
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<p>hello everyone I’m new but I honestly signed up to ask for some advice</p>

<p>so i have this pretty complicated situation where i’ve never really spoken to my parents when i was a kid. it was more of a 1 phone call a year thing where i never saw them and i lived with my grandparents but after my grandmother passed away and my grandfather became ill, i was forced to live with my parents because i wasn’t old enough to be by myself. </p>

<p>and i found out that my parents weren’t the kindest people. they usually came home around 1am and went to work at 5am and i didn’t really see them 'cause i was sort of scared. but it was summer at the time before my senior year and like any kid i stood up late and i was looking at college applications/personal statements/etc. and when i started to know them they told me i couldn’t go to college.</p>

<p>they wanted me to be a home maker and it’s super super complicated cultural crap. so it became worse and worse and i ended up moving out and my teachers and my friends’ parents were very supportive of me.</p>

<p>so i live with my cousin and that’s how it’s been. its such a horrible experience i never wanted to talk about it anymore.</p>

<p>but unfortunately im facing it again. so i went with two of my teachers to ucla and someone from the financial aid office suggest that i apply for a dependency override. and it seemed like a perfect idea because i have my letters from my principal, counselor, and cousin, as well as my own.</p>

<p>but i was filling out the application and it asked if my parents have supported me financially in the last 12 months and at the time i was thinking, HELL NO, i wish. but i was speaking with my uncle yesterday and he said that he didn’t pay for my car insurance because i was under my father’s insurance. and i really had no idea because another issue is that my father and my uncle have the SAME name…another culture/family tradition. so i thought he was paying for it. it’s pretty confusing. :(</p>

<p>so, basically, i am unsure if i can qualify? </p>

<p>i was also thinking about “depedency” and i realized that i am still dependent on my cousin and uncle…and my teachers…i’m not gonna lie…they do a helluva lot for me. they pay for my college aps, prom, high school tuition, all this stuff.</p>

<p>so i’m not sure if i should still petition? i feel like i do qualify because i have some crazy family crisis going on but i’m not exactly independent. do you understand what i’m trying to explain?</p>

<p>i feel anxious because a lot of people misunderstand and its hard to explain when you’re unsure and emotional unstable yourself.</p>

<p>my cousin told me the worse that could happen is that i get declined but my friend told me i could get kicked out of school? :frowning: is this true? i love ucla, i would never want that to happen!</p>

<p>what advice do you guys have? i feel a bit overwhelmed.</p>

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<p>In particular, the following circumstances do not merit a dependency override, either alone or in combination:</p>

<pre><code>* Parents refuse to contribute to the student’s education;

  • Parents are unwilling to provide information on the application or for verification;
  • Parents do not claim the student as a dependent for income tax purposes;
  • Student demonstrates total self-sufficiency.
    </code></pre>

<p>Note that all of these circumstances are largely discretionary in nature. A student cannot become independent just because the parents are unwilling to help pay for the student’s college education.</p>

<p>Although these circumstances are not sufficient for a dependency override, they do not preclude it. Sometimes there are additional circumstances that occur in conjunction with these circumstances that do merit a dependency override. These can include the following:</p>

<pre><code>* an abusive family environment (e.g., sexual, physical, or mental abuse or other forms of domestic violence)

  • abandonment by parents
  • incarceration or institutionalization of both parents
  • parents lacking the physical or mental capacity to raise the child
  • parents whereabouts unknown or parents cannot be located
  • parents hospitalized for an extended period
  • an unsuitable household (e.g., child removed from the household and placed in foster care)
  • married student’s spouse dies or student gets divorced
    </code></pre>

<p>Read this: [FinAid</a> | Professional Judgment | Dependency Overrides](<a href=“http://www.finaid.org/educators/pj/dependencyoverrides.phtml]FinAid”>http://www.finaid.org/educators/pj/dependencyoverrides.phtml)</p>

<p>I think it’s better if you talk to a financial aid officer (of course) but I don’t believe you qualify. It doesn’t hurt to ask a professional though because you are in an unfortunate circumstance.</p>

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<p>I can’t think of why they would kick you out! I mean, I think the worst case would be that your petition would be denied and you’d have to accept financial aid as if your parents WERE paying for college. And even then, if your parents aren’t wealthy, you’d still have a shot at getting aid. If they ARE well off but refuse to contribute to your education, the worst case is that you have to take some major loans-- but it’s impossible to not have enough loans to cover the cost. So you will definitely be able to attend, you just may have to owe money after graduating (which sucks but is better than not going at all!)
I think you should talk to someone in counseling about this.
Also, a quick story. . .
. . . at my orientation, they had a bunch of students speak to us about the problems they faced before UCLA. One girl there had a story just like yours-- her Dad didn’t want her to go to college, and demanded that she marry someone and be a homemaker. It was also a cultural thing. Anyway, it seems like she found some kind of way to pay for it on her own, so know that you are not alone!
Congrats to you for facing such tough stuff and still making it to UCLA! I really hope everything works out for you girl. Sending you good vibes and prayers. : )</p>