Need Some Feedback on a (Somewhat Long) Essay

College Essays
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<p>Applying to top LACs and a few selective state schools and universities.</p>

<p>A sort of sad essay [it made me cry the first and second time I sat and wrote it]. I kinda went off the Common App topic of:</p>

<p>Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.</p>

<p>Any readers?! (Subject to Background Test!)</p>

<p>Wondering what I should take out/keep to make it a bit shorter and more succinct and concise. </p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

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<p>PM me. Sounds intriguing</p>

3

<p>My essays pretty long and I’m trying to edit it a LOT too. So pm and I’ll comment on it.</p>