<p>I’m so glad I was never a drinker. What an incredible waste of money. And what nonsense about being “forced.” The whole scene sounds so incredibly immature. We all have to booze it up. Blech.</p>
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<p>Are Ivy League drinking patterns appreciably different from non-Ivy League drinking patterns? Seems to me you have the “heh heh let’s booze it up” frat party types and the “hey, let’s grab a soda” types. everywhere. Honestly, NYCFlux, you’re going to have to figure out different ways to socialize or perhaps just socialize less. People who can’t understand and respect that you need to economize aren’t worth your time. At all.</p>
<p>I see if NYCflux wish to maintain his stature in the company and among his peers/friends down the road, in the long run, an increase in revenue is a must, however he wants to do it.</p>
<p>Perhaps this is just me being pessimistic, but it’s hard to find “people worth socializing with.” Many of my friends are not big on bars (I’m not either) – but when you constantly have to turn things down, people just stop inviting you. It’d be nice to have a circle of friends that had lots of fun doing relatively inexpensive things, but it’s hard to find, especially if you’re from an Ivy. Luckily, I think many of my friends are relatively easy to hang out, but I’ve lost touch with many others because of the financial differences.</p>
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<p>Almost none of my friends are the “Let’s booze it up” types. I’d say, if anything, many of my friends are actually pretty normal. They might go see a show, eat at a restaurant, attend a concert, take a vacation on longer breaks, etc. It’s just that I have a hard time keeping up with it. It all adds up pretty quickly.</p>
<p>My two daughters manage fine and have less money than you. One went to an IVY for undergrad and MIT for grad. Yes, she knows plenty of rich friends but everyone she is friends with respects one another and she may do a party at someone’s apartment, throw a dinner party herself, go get a drink at a bar (you can go out and order one drink) and many other inexpensive things. My other D went to NYU where there were lots of very wealthy friends. Not all are wealthy but they all mix. It is not a huge problem for her at all. Those like her who are supporting themselves go out a little but not to really expensive places. They are also all performers and support one another’s shows. </p>
<p>Even though my kids had plenty of rich friends at an Ivy or at NYU, it hasn’t impacted their social lives. They have a mix of friends and manage to do all right. </p>
<p>The OP has a girlfriend and can do social things with her and collaborate with just one person over what they may do for entertainment. Ya know, getting some take out and watching a DVD makes a nice date for not that much money.</p>
<p>OP, do you ever instigate offers to do fun things with your friends? That would give you more control over expensive vs inexpensive events. Invite them to a BYOP (bring your own pumpkin) party and make jack o lanterns or something.</p>
<p>Are you into sports or outdoor activities? There are plenty of groups in NYC, such as the NY Road Runners Club or the Appalachian Mountain Club, that hold organized activities that are low-cost. (For NYRRC, you don’t need to be an elite runner - they always need volunteers to help with the marathon and other races). The local AMC chapter sponsors hikes in Harriman state park most weekends - you just need to take train or bus there - once you get to know people you can probably bum a ride. </p>
<p>How about volunteering? There are plenty of schools in Harlem & the Bronx that need big brother mentors or literacy volunteers. </p>
<p>This may sound like an ad, but pick up a free copy of Village Voice or look on the internet for free stuff to do. You have plenty to offer and that’s a great way to meet people like yourself.</p>
<p>Perhaps I’m naive, but I don’t understand how being “from an Ivy” impacts finding a circle of friends who have similar interests and goals. Not meaning to be critical, just don’t quite get it. Aren’t “non-Ivy” people nice too?</p>
<p>I think OP is many hanging with his friends from school who went into finance and are living in Manhattan. Going beyond his circle wont help that much if its other young people living in expensive parts of Manhattan, I would think.</p>
<p>There are, I am sure, lots of Ivy grads living in Brownstone brooklyn and cheaper areas. Including as roommates. But they wont likely be in finance.</p>
<p>The OP should take a look at ■■■■■■■■■■ . . . It has social groups all over the country who gather for common interests, from hiking to martial arts to film clubs, etc etc. I’m sure he can find a group that is relevant to his interests and does cheap stuff.</p>
<p>By the way, I agree that it’s hard to “break out of the mold” when all your friends/colleagues are acting a certain way or spending a certain amount, but it’s also vital to be aware of how they influence us and to make a conscious choice about how we act instead of merely being pulled along in the wake of the crowd. </p>
<p>I don’t think there’s much joy in keeping up with the Joneses if you end up in a house you can’t really afford in a neighborhood you can’t really afford with a car you can’t really afford. And yet that is where many people end up.</p>