<p>Sad that your brother had so much venom he wanted/needed to vent. If you want to get in touch with niece, sounds like it would be good for you just to send her an e-mail/facebook post & ask her for her address.</p>
<p>I have never responded to howlers or nasty e-mails as I don’t find it constructive. The very most I do is compose a considered reply and NOT send it (make it a draft or whatever).</p>
<p>Every family has some dysfunction. It’s unreasonable for families to expect that relationships will be cultivated only one-sided, especially by the member least able to afford to travel. (We are the “poor relations” in our extended family as well, tho we are also upper middle class.) We all live on the same islandm so travel isn’t an issue for us but arranging getting together can be challenging due to differing “hidden agendas.”</p>
<p>Announcements vary greatly–no one I know has ever sent or received a wedding announcement (only HS graduation & sometimes college/grad school graduations), but it sounds like something quite common in your community & social set.</p>
<p>I am the tree-hugging walking shoe-wearing public health non-profit liberal in my family of staunch republicans who are trying to preserve their considerable assets. I tend to avoid talking about politics and medicine and law because we rarely agree about much and are unlikely to in this lifetime. Heck, hubby & I generally cancel each other out in the ballot box.</p>