<p>can anyone edit my sop, please?
My favorite sport, mountain climbing, taught me the way to reach the peak of success; finding the best way and trying my best is the solution to all problems of life. Now, I have decided to pursue my education in one of the best American universities,
university. I am applying for admission to master program of Mechanical Engineering since I want a career in the research of biomedical engineering and biofluid mechanics.
During high school, I found Chemistry, Mathematics and physics stimulating. Due to my deep interest in Chemistry, I participated in Irans national Chemistry Olympiad competition and managed to win gold medal. As one of the four finalists, further participated in and finally managed to win bronze medal in 38th international Chemistry Olympiad, one of the advantages of which was the exemption from compulsory military service after graduation.
Due to my desire to solve medical problems and enhance treatment techniques, which stems from studying biotechnology course, during preparation courses for participation in international chemistry Olympiad; I selected Mechanical engineering specifically for bioengineering, as one of its areas of research.
Initially at the early stages of undergraduate study, I had this vivid goal that I should pursue a career in biomedical engineering in industry or as a researcher at university.
My first opportunity to enter the world of biomedical engineering was during studying the course fluid mechanics II. In this course, I conducted a research into how blood flow pattern changes in the right and left coronary arteries, before and after anesthesia, during coronary artery bypass graft (CABG). To do this research, I read avidly some papers and medical physiology books about this type of surgery. Actually, I believed that my work will be sometimes useful for treatment of cardiovascular diseases. I realized that mechanical engineers could help physicians and surgeons tremendously, to improve treatment techniques. In fact, application of my knowledge of fluid mechanics in solving medical problems, like cardiovascular diseases, moved me.
During studying the course mechanics of biofluid, I gained a first hand experience of fluid mechanics application in bioengineering. I became familiar with subjects like blood flow characteristics in cardiovascular arteries, cardiovascular physiology, mass transport in lungs, etc. For the term project, I decided to conduct a research into how to calculate temperature distribution around cancerous and adjacent normal tissues, during magnetic fluid hyperthermia treatment. I did this research with one of my friends and we used a new numerical approach to solve pennes bioheat transfer equation. Furthermore, we proved reliability of our results by comparing with experimental studies and showed how the treatment techniques could be enhanced by changing thermodynamic parameters of the tumor tissues. This work is recently submitted as a research paper to the journal of international communication in heat and mass transfer. To gather information for this research, I became familiar with new methods of cancer therapy, specifically, hyperthermia. I believe that I should continue my work in cancer therapy, or treatment of cardiovascular diseases because of my strong background information to these subjects and also my great enthusiasm to solve medical problems with the use of my knowledge in fluid mechanics and even chemistry and biology. Therefore I decided to apply for graduate study to gain more experienc
I passed my summer training course in Research Center for Science and Technology in Medicine (RCSTIM), located in Imam Khomeini hospital in Tehran. I worked there with a researcher who invented an ultrasonic bone saw, which had great advantages over ordinary ones, especially due to piezoceramic materials used in its design and also an Msc student. This training course was a window of opportunity for me to enter the world of bio-instrumentation. My work there was to find effective parameters that could improve the efficiency of the device. We used finite element modeling to show the distribution of the energy exerted to a glass of water by the device and which factor is more important to consider for its design. Our work is under publication and we hope to submit our results as a research paper to an ISI journal.
There are some specific research issues that I like to be involved in such as biofluid mechanics, heat transfer enhancement, cancer therapy, treatment of cardiovascular diseases, bio-instrumentation or even biomechanics. I am sure that
university with its high number of faculties supplying instructive and innovative projects and various labs with wide and state-of-the-art experimental and computational facilities and diagnostic tools in these areas would provide me with essential knowledge and skills to start and develop a successful career in academia or industry. I hope your institution give me the opportunity to show my research and academic skills. I look forward to shaping my career in the halls of
university.</p>
<p>It’s a bit to technical and long-winded for me, but this is because I hate biology.
You’re applying to a master’s, so this place won’t be of much help to you. I suggest you go to the parent’s thread or elsewhere to ask for edit.
Remove your essay before you do that, though. Send your essay only through PM (private message). ;)</p>