Negative Stigma? (College Parties or Clubs)

College Confidential Community
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Now, before I post this thread, I hope no one takes offense to this, but the question at issue is:

In general, why do some guys have negative stigmas at parties and even clubs? Is it the way they act around girls? Are they really creepy or just trying too hard? Nervousness?

Despite what goes on at parties, I feel that we’ve been labeled as either nice or creepy, depending on the situation. Girls are always judging guys on how they act at parties/clubs. If they’re minding their own business, then no worries. But, if a guy is trying to meet new people (someone or a group of people), then either one of two things can happen:

  1. They're open to the invitation and they hang out for the rest of the night.
  2. They reject them

Now, I understand that everyone has a choice of who they want to meet, but did it ever bother you why some people act this way? I mean, most guys are actually quite nice and kind. Some aren’t. Now, I know why some girls may feel a little uncomfortable when they go to a party. They don’t know what’s going to happen to them, but they still have a good time.

I just wish people would be more open these days…

I’m not sure why I decided to post this, but I thought that this would make a good discussion between us…

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I also forgot to add the best way to act at a party:

Cool and Laid Back - I talked about this with someone and I now understand why this is more appropriate than walking around and acting crazy.

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Are you from the US? Because your English usage is a little off.

If you were “walking around and acting crazy” at parties, well, that is probably why people avoided you. “Crazy “ and “nice” aren’t the same thing. “Acting crazy” to try to get attention (?) is off-putting, unless you have the talent and instincts of a stand-up comic. In fact, some of the comics I know are off/putting at parties, because the are too obviously trying out material -no one wants to be used for someone else’s purposes.

When I was single and went to parties and more rarely, clubs , I was usually with friends, so a group of guy friends would usually be more successful at talking to us thannone single guy alone. You don’t ditch your friends to hang out with a guy you just met, and sometimes thansingle guy makes it very clear that he only finds ONE girl attractive, which is sort of offensive to the whole group.

Just a female perspective.

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@Gudmom Yes, I’m from America, but thanks for your opinion. Personally, I’ve never acted crazy at parties, but I just walked around because I got bored standing in one place for a long period of time. However, I started talking to people and making connections when I stayed in one place and they didn’t worry about me at all. Maybe staying in one spot from now on would be better for me in the long run.

For the comment about meeting new people: If people are more open when they go out, then that should give you a good sign that they don’t mind making new friends at parties.

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There’s actually a 3rd response. They chat for a few minutes then continue to mingle and meet other people.

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Some guys try too hard when they interact with girls at parties, which can turn creepy in a matter of seconds if they pass her personal boundaries. Some of them may not know certain social cues as much as other people do. This creates a negative stigma of every guy acting like this at parties, no matter what. It gives us a bad image IMO.

Then, there’s people like me who’s just trying to meet new friends without the intent of being weird/creepy, but I’ll understand if they’re still not interested in meeting new people, only a girl’s night out.