As you can tell from the discussion title, I am having major anxiety about moving out of state for college and applying for out of state schools. All the schools I’ve applied to are either in state or 4-5 hrs away. I live in Washington state btw. I really really want to go out of my comfort zone and really broaden my horizons and I feel it will help my college search.
My family says this is okay and they’ll find ways for me to come home.
Does anyone know any ways of overcoming this fear?
What are some states/cities that tend to have a ton of out of state college students?
Every state. Why don’t you look for schools in the next state over or someplaces where public transportation is readily available so you can get home on long weekends or beaks. I’d think knowing that there was a quick way back would be comforting while allowing you to move beyond your state.
You don’t have to do anything. It’s not required to go far away. Know thyself! You can have an amazing experience 4-5 hrs away and feel like you are out of your comfort zone. Maybe for graduate school you can go to the east coast…if you want. Unless there is a strong desire to go far away then do what is comfortable.
I attended college about a half-hour’s drive from my home. It felt plenty different, but it was nice to get home in a hurry if necessary. I agree that if you are feeling trepidation, pick a place within a day’s driving distance. You should have plenty of options.
Why not go in-state, but look for an opportunity to do a semester abroad or a summer program out of state? Some schools also have semester programs that aren’t overseas (one of my kids spent a semester is DC on an internship program that her college gave credit for).
I would go wherever is comfortable for you. College will be a whole different world and a whole new life regardless of if you are 10 hours, 4 hours or 1 hour away from home.
First, realize that your anxiety is normal. This is a time for change and being anxious about that makes you a normal human. Second, since you want to broaden your horizons, remember that applying doesn’t mean you are committing to going. Apply. Visit if you can. See if a different emotion (excitement) can replace the anxiety you feel now. Third, you have to remember that you are never really stuck some place. If you apply out of state, go out of state and are absolutely miserable…you can come home. People tend to have all or nothing thinking that doesn’t allow them to realize they are not stuck with their choices.
I started at a college 4 hours a way from home. It was too close. I could too easily come home. Then I transferred out of state and it was much better. I no longer had the option of coming home easily and it forced me to get involved in college life. I actually thought it was easier to be farther away.
However, I also agree with many of the posters above. There is nothing wrong with slowly putting your toe in the water. But try not to let the anxiety make the choice for you. Emotions tend to be short lived.
I think feeling nervous and anxious is normal. I am an international applicant and will be travelling 1000s of miles and believe me I exactly know how you feel. But I think if you just believe in yourself, put yourself out there, meet people and explore, these 4 years will be the best ones of your life !
Moving away to college is a huge transition, and it can be a great adventure if you have the right mindset going in. You need to think honestly about the type of person that you are, and decide if you are willing and able to go into a strange place and not only survive, but thrive.
You’ll need to push yourself to meet lots of new people, attend lots of events in the first few weeks of school, and join interesting clubs and/or find a volunteer group that gives you service opportunities and the chance to work alongside fellow students.
Most families have thought about the academic and financial fit of a college, but the social fit is just as important. Finding “your tribe” of like-minded students is crucial to feeling connected, which leads to developing your new sense of home on campus. But it doesn’t happen quickly, and it is not automatic. People are not going to knock on your dorm room door and ask if they can be your friend. It is up to you to make yourself open and available to strangers who might smile or start a conversation.
And, the folks you run around with in the first few days may not end up being your best friend. And that’s okay too. Just know that most of the freshman arriving on campus are feeling the same anxiousness, and most of them might have feelings of homesickness or loneliness too.
You take a risk in moving out of state to go to college. Make sure you are capable of reaping the rewards that are available to you on each college campus. Have you ever done much traveling to other regions of the country? Have you ever been away from home for more than one week? Think about the social skills you might need to be successful in a new college environment, and be open to trying new things as you prepare to move away.
You are more capable than you think, but you also know yourself better than anyone else. Spend some time thinking through who you are and what you want. Only you can decide if you are up for the challenge of a faraway college.