Hey! First, sorry if this isn’t the place to ask for advice! I’ll take the post down if it isn’t.
I (18f) am worried about the transition from high school to college. I’m attending Duke University. l’d say that generally I am a hard worker, but I also feel like I have a lot of trouble consistently doing work outside of school/feeling motivated. I thrived in HS mostly, I think, because of the structure. But in college, ik everything is a lot more self-managed. I have had really terrible habits of staying up procrastinating assignments, sometimes until 4am, and I think my lack of sleep may start to cause health problems, especially if it continues in college. I’ve also noticed in high school that the more self-structured the class, the less I get done — I sort of brush it off to prioritize other things. I cannot tell if this is just a result from doing a lot in high school and not having time for any one thing (took 8 APs this year with all As, ran 4 clubs, work part time, dealing with parent divorce/family issues, etc) but I’ve heard that college and having to ‘adult’ is so much harder, and especially at a school like Duke, I’m nervous I won’t fit in and have trouble keeping up with classes and making social connections. I already feel exhausted from high school and I don’t know if I can continue, especially if college is harder. All academic pressure comes from me, nobody else really cares if I don’t do great in school. Any advice?
Be your best advocate. Ask for help with time management. Reach out to professors, go to study/review sessions, and utilize this resource: https://arc.duke.edu/
This all sounds very familiar. You are obviously very capable as you got into Duke. From my experience with 2 kids (and myself) with ADD, having a busy schedule so that you HAVE to get stuff done at a specific time is a good idea as it’s the initiation, not the work, that is the issue. If you are not under time stress, you just won’t start. Contact ARC right away to set up study groups and work on stragies if you think that will help https://arc.duke.edu/
A strategy that has worked very well for D22 is meeting her friends to study at the library. It forces her to go at a certain time. S23 has two study spots on campus. One is a distraction free hobbit hole in the basement of the library that he heads to when he needs to do intense studying. He keeps his phone in his backpack and uses an app to block other distractions on his laptop. He doesn’t come out until he is done. The other is a quiet but beautiful patio in the building that houses his major that he heads to between classes to get work done that doesn’t need a lot of concentration, but just needs to get done. If you use the time between classes rather than heading back to your room, have a hard time initiating , and then getting nothing done, you’ll have less to worry about later in the day.
While “adulting” is different when it comes to learning, as you get deeper into your major, you will find the classes a lot more interesting and applicable than high school. Learning will look a lot different if your goal in high school was just to get good grades.
Just remember, most of your class will also be high achievers that wore themselves out in high shool and are also nervous about “adulting” in college. Some will hide behind being super competitive (like in high school) but most want to have an authentic experience and will understand where you are coming from. Read up on “imposter syndrome” and see if it’s something you identify with. If so, set up a few counseling sessions once you are on campus.
So you are already on a good path as you have identified the issue. There are lots of things you can try now and I suspect some combination will end up working well for you.
Personally, I did my best with time management in school when I treated it basically like a job with regular hours, starting AND stopping around the same time each M-F regardless of my class schedule that day. Once I really committed to the idea, I found I could have almost every evening and weekend free from work. It was very nice!
You’ll hopefully learn - when faced with the amount of work- you’ll learn quickly.
Every year tons of kids go to college and many/most even have some fears.
So yes, relax this summer. Get to know your roommate. Breathe easy. Try to keep up from the beginning - it’s going to go fast.
And I suspect you’ll have a great semester - year.
Oh, make sure you eat well - and get enough sleep. That helps too.
And put the phone down. Push it aside. Put it in a drawer. I rarely see kids not on the phone…not sure if that’s an issue you have -
You’re clearly a bright individual and it’s great you are seeing concerns now - but I suspect, even if you have a rough start adapting to the amount of work, you’ll be ok. Just know - you can’t start in the middle of the night - college has a lot more - so you have to pace yourself.
You sound like you know yourself very well - remember that when registering for classes and mix it up a little - don’t over do it.You don’t need to have all competitive courses and a wonderful part of college is being introduced to new subjects. Take full advantage of office hours and get to know your professors and fellow classmates.
Whoa, you crushed it in HS! Duke is amazing, but self-care is key. Sounds like you might benefit from some time management tools. Plus, college is about finding your pace – don’t feel pressured to replicate your HS workload. You got this, Rhose!