<p>In our tiny rural high school the top kids are involved in multiple ECs and the conflicts are inevitable. In my experience the band and drama directors are equally as unbending when it comes to conflicts. They all think their thing is number 1. Band director has been known to pull kids from academic classes during the school day w/o consulting teachers. Kids just show up 30 minutes in to the 48 min period with a note saying “Student X was rehearsing,”</p>
<p>Bassdad is your user name the instrument or the fish? I just want to say it right in my head when I read it ;)</p>
<p>^^^LOL, BassDad.<br>
We had the same experience with h.s. football. Two years ago,S2 was accepted to an in-state public (4 hours fr. home) that he was pretty sure he wanted to attend but had not visited. Our h.s. football team was having the best season in sch. history. S2 was a four year starter but would surely have sat on the bench if he had skipped two practices in a game week to go on a college tour. With the biggest games of his football life on the horizon, there was no way he would consider missing practice.</p>
<p>So, even though he was accepted in early Nov., he never got to visit the sch. until the first week of Feb. It all worked out. He’s a soph. there now.</p>
<p>Ok - I just have to brag a bit…
We finally got all the vacation hold mail, and S2 received a totally unexpected Forensics Scholarship from Lewis & Clark (one of his reaches)! This makes it a bit more affordable, and he was pleased to know they want him on the Debate team.</p>
<p>We got two letters this week - admittance to National Honor Society, and announcement that she’s earned an Academic Letter (at our school, they determine that by a point system based on honor roll/high honor roll). Neither one will sway a college particularly, but 2 years ago I really worried if this kid was going to try actively to be a non-academic achiever. It’s nice to know that she’s decided to make it work. </p>
<p>As a parent, I can’t help calculating that just one more A in one semester would have put her in position to be in the top group when she graduates (she’s already out of the running for the highest number of points that gets a plaque). I have to let that go. She’s “made the club” and it matters to her, which is most important. Besides, D1’s plaque is sitting on a shelf in her closet, along with the other awards. And her biggest dream, to make the most select singing group, never came true, while D2 made it as a Jr. </p>
<p>I tell both of them there’s always something that makes you wince all your life from HS (hopefully not multiple things!), some disappointment that stays with you. And this relates to the baseball/Model UN/etc. discussion: I was a medium-level athlete in HS and cared a lot about my sport. I would have had a hard time taking time away my senior year, when I was finally getting somewhere, starting, scoring goals, etc. I can imagine a kid who’s got a few things he’d like to accomplish in a sport before he leaves, that would bother him if he short-changes the season, even if he’ll never do it again. I understand the issues you’re dealing with about visiting the school, but if this is one of those “all your life” regrets (like he never got to do XYZ in baseball) maybe that’s just how he is. I do hope you can come up with a compromise somehow. Good luck to you all.</p>
<p>There can be offered a lot of anecdotal evidence about teachers/coaches/bosses/spouses/kids making unfair demands. And it is wrong to think this only happens to student athletes. It happens to everyone that is involved in life. So the trick is to know what matters. Coaches have every right to demand attendance. As do teachers and music leaders. The point I guess is that there will always be consequences for ones choices. We would like to think that people are “reasonable” and can “help” us when we need it, but thats not always the case. So when we run across a situation that forces us to decide, thats what we do. We decide and our beliefs, values, goals, and priorities tells us what to do.
Missing practice for ANYTHING may result in being benched. So be it. Have the wisdom to employ your decision tree and act accordingly.
Congrats to mom2kid and all others on their acceptances!</p>
<p>Congrats, Mom2Sons! That’s great. Yes, more good news would be nice…and if it’s sunny where you all are, please send some to the northeast…we need to dry out up here!</p>
<p>jfl2010, I’m sure you don’t realize this but your posts tend to come off a bit patronizing. All of us have been parents for at least 17 years (I’ve been one for 25) and have certainly had “situations to make us decide” I don’t think anyone thinks this only happens to athletes. This forum, IMHO, is more of a place to vent and talk honestly about our feelings and unless someone is specifically asking for advice, I don’t know if there’s a reason to give it. I mean, “Have the wisdom to employ your decision tree and act accordingly.” ??</p>
<p>Hmm. It didn’t read that way at all to me. (patronizing) I don’t think jfl2010 meant anything by it and it is awfully hard to adjust for tone when using message boards in general. Heck, even having males and females converse with one another, particularly in print can be a tricky proposition.
I might read an email from a teacher at school and get really annoyed, then my husband will read it and he thinks it’s fine. It’s our little checks and balances Business writers also have their own succinct style, as opposed to aspiring creative writers like myself! [I know I’ve been chastised for lengthy prose at times!]
Just my thoughts…feel free to grumble at me. I’ve got my message board armor on! :)</p>
<p>Well, I find lots of people here tend to give me advice when I’m not asking for it (especially in the ‘venting’ threads!). I didn’t find jfl to be patronizing, maybe musing out loud a bit about the situation in general and its implications for people.</p>
<p>I tend to write that way myself sometimes, and certainly don’t mean anything by it.</p>
<p>For everyone who is a junior, one thing I know so many people regret doing is applying to schools they don’t think they can get into. I have gotten into schools that my grades dont match up to, as well as many other people on this board. Apply everywhere because its a suprise, a school thats a saftye may not accept you while a reach will accept you good luck to everyone appyling next year, its a difficult but rewarding journey.:)</p>
<p>In Deborah Tannen’s book “You Just Don’t Understand”, about differences in how men and women communicate, she says that women frequently vent in search of empathy, but men typically think they are being asked for advice, so they respond “You should do this…”, which is often not what a woman wants to hear.</p>
<p>yabeyabe2–in my marriage, the Tannen gender roles are reversed. It took us many years of gear-grinding conversations to figure that out and learn how to work around it.</p>
<p>peacelovemusic14 – I think you mean people regret not applying to schools they don’t think they can get into, right? At least that’s what it sounds like from the rest of your post. I am with you. Our son has already gotten into one reach (Rochester) and might yet get into more. You never know if you don’t try. (Of course, it goes without saying that you should apply to at least a few schools you’re pretty sure you can get into, as well.)</p>
Business writers also have their own succinct style, as opposed to aspiring creative writers like myself! [I know I’ve been chastised for lengthy prose at times!]