<p>Nothing good [or bad] in the mail today. Grumble…</p>
<p>Oh, sorry, I thought this was the “grumble because you’re going crazy thread” ;)</p>
<p>Hope everyone is doing well…</p>
<p>ps: Slumom, kudos for your large envelope restraint! I have to admit it is easier when the outside of the envelope has a huge WELCOME TO CAMPUS JOHNNY on the outside …tee-hee :)</p>
<p>
This whole experience as April 1 approaches reminds me of what happens when a particle approaches a black hole’s event horizon. As wikipedia puts it:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>“object” = student
“horizon” = decision
“observer” = parent</p>
<p>@ctmom2boys
Never get between a mother bear and her cubs!
Thats the spirit! Fight back.
Now a few days ago, with rejection and wait list letters in hand you were looking into other schools that are still accepting apps. Your son was “whatever” and you were hoping that he might come around.
Today, he is accepting of the fact he might be going to one of his safeties, started to write essays, has seeked other recommendations, and is looking at the WL schools. I am sure its all going to work out.
I have coached and played baseball for many years and I can assure you that a student who misses a practice for a college visit is not shirking his responsibilities to his team or teammates. Priorities??? But I understand your defensive position, I was a little harsh. Go back and read your post to me. It now sounds like action and positive results will develop.
Regardless of how you say it, get him to visit UVM its a great school and he will do great there. Come on now, its his college future we are talking about, BBall practice can wait, and its perfectly understandable.</p>
<p>“I have coached and played baseball for many years and I can assure you that a student who misses a practice for a college visit is not shirking his responsibilities to his team or teammates. Priorities???”</p>
<p>I agree 100%, but it’s just not convincing when it comes from your mom, KWIM? If I talk to the coach the coach will give him the thumbs up on missing practice or a game for the visit and he’ll feel so much better about it…we moms still have a few tricks left.</p>
<p>In quirkier news, I was browsing some college guides in Barnes and Noble and saw that UVM was on the esteemed list of schools known for “Reefer madness”. Dare I mention it on the likely chance that that knowledge will make him want to go there? I’m really reaching here…</p>
<p>Hi CCLady…I’m almost glad that we’re not stressing about the mail anymore, all that trying to look through envelopes was putting a strain on my eyes and bags under them.</p>
<p>Does anyone know where I can buy one of those sweatshirts that just has “COLLEGE” emblazoned across it?</p>
<p>LOL, ctmom! We were just at college’s Accepted Student’s Day. I texted my son half way through the student program and asked if I should buy the t-shirt/sweatshirt. He texted back, “yes”. I thought, wow, this is it! When he came home he said this is probably the school, but he is still keeping “all options” open! Why did I spend $46 on a college sweatshirt, and another $15 on a t-shirt for a school he might not go to? Honestly, he is 95% sure now, but that could change tomorrow ;)! So, is that 95% sure, or 20% sure?</p>
<p>FWIW, he got into a reach school, but the sweatshirt is to a safety school. He just really likes it.</p>
<p>CTmom, just wanted to chime in on visiting-</p>
<p>S had his heart set on going to one of the privates we’d visited, and was not that enthused about UMass Amherst until we drove out and took a tour. Suddenly, he was very interested in going there! Good thing, too, because he got a small amount of merit at one of the privates and was waitlisted at the other.</p>
<p>Kids are very quick to write off schools based on what are often superficial criteria. S wrote a bunch of schools off without visiting or applying - one he’d heard was a ‘big party school’ - that probably describes half the colleges out there! Another school we were about to visit, but a friend of S’s came back and said he felt some people looked at him funny. So that one was off the list.</p>
<p>And I hear you about getting others to suggest something so it has a chance of being heard. S wanted to apply to 2 or 3 schools, so I emailed the guidance counselor before our meeting and asked her to please suggest to son that it would be a good idea to apply to some safeties! He had rolled his eyes when I suggested it, but when the counselor ‘spontaneously’ suggested it, it was suddenly a good idea. Sheesh.</p>
<p>ctmom2boys
Seriously, arrange an overnight. It will make or break it. If it makes it then case closed! If it breaks it, well better to know now…
The lake, Church ave, the school grounds, the skiing close by, and yes it is a pretty cool college. In fact #3 of coolest colleges and #3 of greenest colleges. Oh and the reefer madness schools;also on that list are Pitzer, Wesleyan, Oberlin, Tufts, and Vassar so not such bad company!!
Good luck, let us know where he goes!</p>
<p>ctmom heck let us know when ^^he goes so we can concentrate all positive thoughts and/or prayers on Burlington</p>
<p>Haha, Nightchef! Been known to be a star-gazer for sure…
Still anxious for the daily mail and am annoyed that it’s delivered at different times each day by our new mailman. Think I should mention it one sunny spring day? </p>
<p>I really want to get excited about making return college visits and also plan an overnight or two for my son, but really need the financial aid piece in place first. I don’t want him to fall in love with the Boxter if all we can provide for him is a warm, cozy, used Chevy.
[Sadly, we may not make the return trip up to Burlington due to financial reasons.]</p>
<p>northeastmom - I learned from CC the first time around to buy the t-shirts on visits, but save the sweatshirt (hoodie) to celebrate the decision! Most bookstores will sell you one over the phone.</p>
<p>Our HS has a college t-shirt day in May - I cannot wait until S2 makes his final decision. (He’s waiting on 3 more, including his top 2).</p>
<p>Regarding mail waiting, we were away on Spring Break last week, so we had the mail held. It was supposed to be delivered today, but wasn’t… more waiting… will April 1 ever arrive?</p>
<p>mom2sons, you learned a lesson that I did not learn until I parted with a few more dollars than necessary right now. Soon we will know if he will wear out that sweatshirt. I will say that it was worn to school today. I don’t know if I should read anything further into that.</p>
<p>Parents of juniors might want to look at the CampusVibe section, where a poster wrote reviews of American, Mary Washington and Goucher.</p>
<p>The idea of an HS “college t shirt day” is a far cry from the HS I went to, which had a rule that you could not wear clothing from your future college, because it was seen as bragging. At the time, it struck many kids as overly paternalistic, but now I can see why kids not going to college, or going to community college, might regard it poorly.</p>
<p>Regarding the baseball practice, much depends on the coach–our HS varsity basketball coach benched a kids for 2 games because he missed a practice to attend a Model UN as part of our HS’s delegation–which I thought justified a penalty for the coach, more than the student.</p>
<p>^^^^^
Thats just silly
There will always be idiotic coaches. The trick is not to let their insecurities result in you managing your life around them.
I would give the coach ample notice, be concerned if its an important date for whatever reason (ie big game) try to work around it, and in the end tell the coach what you are going to do. If the consequences are out of line, well every coach has a boss and the world is full of idiotic people. Fortunately, if you have put your kids in good situations then there should be an adult who can put it right.
BTW even if he did get benched for 2 games (which may have been acceptable) then so be it and everyone moves on. I am sure the UN experience will last much longer than the two games he sat the bench.
Priorities…</p>
<p>What wound up happening was that the kid went to the model UN and was not only benched, but subsequently constantly demeaned by the coach. The parents went to the athletic director and then the principal, and got nowhere. And no, this was not a practice before a crucial game, nor a team fighting for first place, nor a coach with a stellar record, or a player who was a starter and key participant in practices.
I hope CTmom’s coach is more rational, and think her son is best served by going to the college visit after timely notice to the coach, but understand that some coaches cultivate an aura of fear and few kids and parents are willing to challenge them directly, with fewer still willing to go above their heads, especially if their kids are not stars and play sports where a coach’s subjective feelings can withstand scrutiny (as opposed to swimming or tennis, where the clock or head to head results tells the tale).
For adults, it is easy to say that picking the right college is more important than the sports consequences, but kids who have worked for many years to earn a less than rock solid role on an HS team may not come to the same conclusion very readily.</p>
<p>I’m an American living in the UK; my kids go to a U.S. Department of Defense school (two have graduated and are in college in California now; one more is in 11th grade). The British really see this whole college acceptance thing differently! I have lived here for twelve years and in that time I have never seen a bumper sticker proclaiming one’s college or university. And at most maybe a dozen t-shirts/sweatshirts with the name of a university on it, and even then it is usually on a tourist who has been to Oxford or Cambridge. Nor do parents worry about paying - kids take out student loans and that’s that. Of course, the cost is much less than in the states.
Just noting the cultural differences, that’s all. Oh, and, yes, we have two window stickers in our car with the names of my kids’ colleges!</p>
<p>The experience yabeyabe2 describes with regard to the model UN thing sounds like exactly how it would have gone down in my high school in rural NJ in the early 70s. There are places in this country where people quite seriously think that nothing should take precedence over sports–not studies, not college admission, not anything.</p>
<p>That is exactly how it is yabeyabe and nightchef, his coach believes that nothing is more important than the team, and even though he won’t bench my son for the season, we all know that he will be benched for one game and possibly more for going on a college visit. That much is understood by all the players and parents.</p>
<p>That is how it is in varsity team sports, you don’t like it, maybe you shouldn’t be on the team, there are other kids who would love to fill your spot - that’s the attitude.</p>
<p>He will definitely be penalized for missing a practice, the question is, how much. Hopefully only one game, but we do know that he will “pay” for missing a practice. That’s just the way it is.</p>
<p>Last year one of the players (a good one too), missed 2 practices and he lost his spot on the team.</p>
<p>Also, I want to thank everyone for their encouraging posts, I’ll definitely keep you all posted!</p>
<p>The “my practice is more important than your life” syndrome is not limited to sports, either. I know of a high school jazz band director who threatened to remove a student from the big year-end concert because she was going to miss the dress rehearsal. The reason: the student had a youth orchestra performance that evening at Carnegie Hall, including an important solo. Needless to say, the out date had been mentioned to the jazz band director months ahead of time, but only seemed to have registered a few days before the conflict. The situation was resolved only when another teacher intervened and volunteered to substitute for the student at the dress rehearsal.</p>