<p>I would never dismiss the affects of today’s chemo, but remember that some the folks whose treatments were decades ago did have a rougher go of it. Some of the side affects people had 25 years ago either don’t happen anymore or don’t happen very often. Also, there are different treatments for different conditions, some more agressive than others. More reasons why sharing negative stories is not a good idea.</p>
<p>Slightly OT, but I remember hearing both my mother’s and my MIL’s comments after colonoscopies and endoscopies decades ago. Reflecting on their extremely negative experiences, it is obvious that they were either not sedated or just barely sedated for the procedures. A person like that may not even know how much things have changed and could continue to talk about their nightmarish experience for the rest of their lives.</p>
<p>So if the negative is forced on you in the form of a person you can’t get away from fast enough or an email you can’t delete fast enough, just let your eyes glaze over and let it wash right past you. Also, try to have a bit of sympathy because people really don’t try to be idiots. I’m sure we’ve all said idiotic things in our lives and probably unintentionally hurtful things as well.</p>
<p>One more thing. Please encourage your family members not to share any idiotic things people say to them. I remember when a young woman we knew was facing a serious illness. Someone sought out her father and told him how his sister had died from the condition. Okay, idiotic. BUT, the father actually shared the story with his daughter. He was sharing it to talk about how insensitive people can be, but the daughter still heard the story.</p>
<p>MRI done today, meet with the breast surgeon tomorrow and oncologist on Tuesday. Even though I told a handful at my work on Monday, the entire office knew when I walked into work today. It all feels very unreal, I am a nurse practitioner working in women’s healthcare!</p>
<p>My head is just swimming from all I learned last Thursday night from the breast surgeon. My tumor is not large, around 2cm but set in a way that he feels the best way to reassure complete removal, mastectomy would be the way to go. That’s just one option. I meet with the oncologist on Tuesday. The surgeon suggested I think about neoadjuvant chemotherapy to shrink the tumor first and later do a lumpectomy. In my favor I have both estrogen and progesterone positive receptors. The 3rd option would be to start with chemotherapy first. I have many things to think about before I make any decisions.
I will know a bit more after Tuesday’s meeting with the oncologist. I am also meeting on Tuesday morning with a genetic counselor and oncogene measurement testing, which can take up to 2 weeks to get the results. Next Friday I will get a chest and abdominal CT and bone scan.</p>
<p>The surgeon wants to set up OR time mid May in case I decide to have the mastectomy. He has also set up 2 appointments with plastic surgeons and an EKG. I let his office know that I want to hold off until Tuesday after I talk with oncologist. Way to much info and to fast. I was only diagnosed on Monday and met with the surgeon last Thursday.</p>
<p>Just an update of many more reports to come.</p>
<p>It sounds like we are going through some of the same processes. Unfortunately, my tumor is triple negative, which means that it cannot be treated with some of the drugs (such as tamoxfien) that help tumors that are estrogen or progesterone positive, as can Judy. It is over 4 cm and they say I can have lumpectomy or mastectomy. It too have to decide whether to do chemo while I’m undergoing genetic testing first or surgery first. Every day is filled with at least two doctor’s appointment, tests etc.</p>
<p>JUdy L:
Please get two opinions. No matter who your surgeon is or how good they are, it is a good idea to have it run past two doctors.
If possible is there a cancer center that has presents new breast cancer cases to a group on surgeons and oncologists?</p>
<p>This is from Mini’s spouse:
I am a triple negative as well and am positive for the BRCA 1 gene. I decided to do chemo before and after surgery and had a bilateral mastectomy. ACT and FEC before and taxotere after. This fall will be my 5 year anniversary. By the time I had surgery my tumor was only 2cm but that was after the first round of chemo. I also had a complete hysterectomy because the risk of ovarian cancer with the BRCA 1 gene in my age group is 40 to 50 percent. Not a risk I wanted to take and chemo put me in menopause anyway. That was also why I choose a bilateral mastectomy. My mom had BC 2 times,she survived both now over 20 years, but one time was quite enough for me. </p>
<p>Our daughters were 16 and 19 when I got diagnosed. They both coped pretty well, I am not sure if it was harder on the younger one who was home or the older one who was doing her Jr year in Italy. I am a nurse and have a wonderful oncologist who I knew prior to getting BC. I did have to talk my surgeon into the bilateral mastectomy but given my family history I was quite sure I was not doing just one. I have not had reconstruction, though I have thought about it. Having the bilateral mastectomy makes it easier to be balanced.
My older daughter did get genetic testing and was negative (Yay) and my younger one is adopted so as my sister says, “I can only give her cooties.”</p>
<p>totally agree that a second opinion is important. mastectomy vs lumpectomy also depends on how you personally feel. That is also the same with reconstruction. I have seen so many decisions and all proper for that person. I have a wonderful breast surgeon and that has brought me much comfort. Not only in getting rid of the disease but preventing complications from the surgeries themselves.
Keep posting, once you have a plan it gets easier, but you are wise to take some time to decide. The only one I know you have to act immediately on is inflamatory.</p>
<p>My youngest child, in junior high, doesn’t want to hear anything about it, day for surgery or treatment etc, and is pretending that all is normal.</p>
<p>There is anew therapy for triple negative stage 4 cancer called a parp inhibitors, they are being tried in gene positive cancers. (Braca 1 and 2) I know no one here meets that criteria but I love to hear hopeful therapies.
I think women ultimately look inside themselves and make the tough decisions. Ultimately we make the most sensible decision based on both good solid evidence and our guts! We have resilience and we get through the tough times.
My D2 did not talk about it much, she would talk if I brought it up, but not about her feelings. I have let her cope in her own style and kept watch same for D2. Sometimes I think with the ignorance and self absorption of youth that it is protective. Sometimes i want to say HELLO??? That everyone is surviviong and thriving is the important part.</p>
<p>Thus far, i am stage 2, based on the size of the tumor, which I guess will be confirmed with further tests. And as for the self-centeredness of youth, yes I am for once grateful for it! I want my college-aged kids to be able to go about their normal routine and not have thoughts of this interfere with classes. With the one at home, I am continuing to do all the normal stuff (other than lots of doctor’s apptmts and tests) and being really upbeat.</p>
<p>I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in February of 2009. I recently had a double mastectomy with reconstruction. The surgery was very tolerable and minimally invasive on mine or my family’s life (relatively speaking). My treatment thus far has also been more of an annoyance than an interference with our daily schedule but that may change. I would highly recommend checking out the website breastcancer.org. There are amazing people on that website who have so much advice and support to offer anyone going through this diagnosis.</p>
<p>I’m glad to hear that you are doing well usand3boys. Someone upthread recommended that website, and you are right, it is a good source of information.</p>
<p>I plan on getting a second opinion with another breast surgeon. I fell so very fortunate to live in Settle where there are 3 very good breast care centers.</p>
<p>I echo the thoughts US3
Mini and mini spouse yay for great genetics on your daughter. I was tested negative but may get retested as there are new genes out there. I worry about my kids the most. so hearing this is so awesome.</p>
<p>JudyL, I am in Seattle too, and my sister and I have had breast surgery with different surgeons. Both are considered to be excellent. PM me if you would like the names.</p>
<p>We were talking yesterday & we agreed that we are so fortunate to be in this area with so many good doctors and treatment facilities available.</p>