This really does ease the transition to college (for both parents and children).
For the first time since we had oldest, every piece of laundry in our home is clean and put away and I know there isn’t some hidden pile of dirty clothes waiting to be discovered (or dropped off on the laundry room floor). Cannot tell you how weird it feels to walk by a spotless, empty laundry room. This is not a complaint.
Still trying to figure out the new rhythm in our house. I feel like we are moving slower but getting more stuff done at the same time.
And then when they come back, you realize you can’t remember how to cook for more than two people. It really is very weird and I now struggle to prepare a meal for four of us, aside from dinner parties. The rhythm now is easier. Not worse or better, but different.
If anyone recalls my post from July, my husband and I are now in our new house. Our children have never lived here and it is highly unlikely they will ever be here for more than a week or two in the future. Surprisingly, I am finding that I don’t miss them as much as I did at our old house, which we lived in for 20 years. It’s probably a combination of being incredibly busy with the move, and not feeling their physical presence in the new home. That is a bit sad, but I do take comfort knowing that they have both been in our new house and both like it. I’m looking forward to a real family gathering with them here.
Well I have yet to have it set in since I have been sick since drop off! Friday will be my first day off wihtout a kid in the house. I think I will go shopping
I am oscillating between doing ok and feeling sad. The weekend was hard as it was our full weekend at home with out S24. So far I talk to him every night for a couple of minutes before he sleeps. He always had the habit of saying good night before he sleeps so we decided that we will do it via phone or text and so far he has done it.
The house is a bit quieter and cleaner than before. I have to do less dishes than before. I think I need to plan more fun stuff or things to do for the weekends. Hoping it will get easier as time goes.
It’s quiet here and there are times when I just feel sad. Otherwise, I’m ok - busy with work and getting together with friends (several of who are new empty nesters themselves). It’s not so bad during the day when they would have been at school anyway - it’s the night time that seems incredibly quiet.
I’m doing okay overall, but have moments of deep sadness. I agree with what many have written here. My kid has been away at camp and school trips for up to a month at a time in the past, so we have been without her for periods of time. Of course this time it’s different. And dinner time and night time are the biggest change as we’ve eaten dinner as a family most nights for 21 years of parenting/having a family. D24 and I would lovingly joke we were “besties,” and spent a lot of time together since her older sister started college 3 years ago. So I miss that time together and I think adjusting will take some time.
That said, my house is a whole lot cleaner. And I feel a new sense of freedom I haven’t felt since before kids. I also am pleasantly surprised that my husband and I have become closer these past few weeks. It’s like we now have the time to put into our marriage without the reality of kids in close proximity all the time. I feel like this next chapter will be about tending to our relationship in a whole new way, and I’m happy about that because I was a little worried about it in the past.
I bought us tickets to an outdoor concert for tomorrow night, an artist I love (and listened to endlessly with D24) and my husband is gamely up for it, although I know he can usually take or leave live music. It should be a fun event. I’m also about a month in to a new exercise routine, which I’m really enjoying. Next up will be cleaning out some long forgotten areas of the house, along with some travel planning.
Each day I have waves of sadness, but they don’t last all day. I’m just giving myself time to adjust to how it is right now.
We have been so busy for unrelated reasons that it hasn’t really sunk in yet
We have been back to tailgate and Parents week is coming up but about 3pm each day I still expect someone to walk through the door from school. That’s the most noticeable part.
No skinny dipping here (someone up above is having fun…) but we have begun our grand tour of the 20+ local restaurants we have been meaning to go to more often. Saturday plans include the third Thai place in two weeks. I guess we are compensating.
We are trying to figure out our first longer trip to work from somewhere fun. Get a AirBnB at the Beach etc. stay tuned
I am grateful that both my kids check in reasonably regularly and both seem to be happy and adjusting well. When they are happy, thriving, and doing exactly what we hoped they would do, it makes it easier to find things to love about the empty nest.
We head up for S24’s parents weekend next week and it is almost hard to believe how quickly it got here! It helps that work has been very busy for both H and me, and we have had plenty of weekend plans. A big goal of mine is to be more social/entertain more.
My favorite thing so far is probably the ease of making dinner for 2 and freedom to make dishes the kids wouldn’t have loved. Tonight was a pre made Fresh Market meatloaf (really good!) with roasted butternut squash and brussel sprouts.
I also like how much more flexible my days seem. It’s been very rainy so I couldn’t do my normal morning walk, but I was able to get on the treadmill after work while dinner was in the oven. That wasn’t something that felt doable with the kids home.
So, I miss them, and the house feels too big, too quiet, and amazingly clean, but there are good things about the empty nest, too.
Second year of empty nesting has started. I am going to bed earlier and earlier. And getting up around 5 am. Not what I want to do but sleep and I have been at odds since I was a teenager. Staying put in our house for now. Twenty years in and ten to go on the mortgage. Eating out a lot. Not helping my waistline or the scale but food is life for both of us. Wife reads a lot. I am not sure what I do but the days seem to go by so fast. Going to the outer banks for two nights tomorrow. Traveled a lot over the summer too. Life is good and I am thankful.
Its been 4 weeks today since we dropped him and starting to feel a bit better. Have been talking/texting almost every day so far and that helped. He is also planning to come for a short visit in 2 weeks for the weekend and I am very excited about that. The original plan was for me and my husband to go there but after further talking to him he said he wants to come home once before thanks giving so he is coming for just two days. We will see if it feels worth it fly across the country for 2 days and whether we will do something this again is to be seen.
After a week long trip exploring the Nashville and Charlotte areas for a possible move in the Spring, I am feeling much better about my empty nest. We saw several lake/ river front properties that got us excited about our next chapter.
I came back home motivated to get our house ready for a Feb/March listing. It’s exactly the project I needed.
I do still miss my girls but feels much better knowing we have our own plans to do something new.
Today is a good day for this empty-nester! I’m about to put up some of our outside Halloween decorations. Could this be depressing without my number-one compadre (D24)? Why yes! But I’m cheerful and glad to be taking a break from grading today. I decided not to put up any “inside Halloween” this year. It clutters up the house, and does not add to my holiday spirit. Out comes the giant pink spider, momentarily!
In our neighborhood one family has a mom (and dad) who really decorate for the holidays. It’s great. All three girls are older now, but the outer decor is extensive and awesome.
I’m not a kid and I love seeing holiday decor. You are serving the community doing this even if it may not feel like it. People notice!
2 months into empty nesting and we are closing on a house soon with a first-floor master. Does this make us officially old? The house still has enough bedrooms for all 3 kids when they come back to visit. Better yet, it has a full basement and kitchen so they won’t wake us up when they’re cooking at 2am
The house is dreadfully quiet now but perhaps new house projects will keep me distracted until 1 of 3 comes home for summer
Just back from our first empty nester adventure - a 10 day trip through Utah. We road tripped across the state, visiting each of the Mighty Five national parks. Lots of hiking and biking. It was wonderful. Perhaps the greatest part was realizing that nearly every fellow traveler we encountered was also an empty nester (and lots and lots of retirees, who seemed to be the happiest people on earth). It was a great entree into this next phase of our lives. On to planning our next adventure!
This new empty nester is now one week into a three week Italy trip. Highly recommend a trip with your spouse for those who are partnered - discovering who we are together and without kids present has been really wonderful.
