S now gets to decide if he wants a roommate or not. He doesn’t have any friends where he’s going, though we have a family friend, a cousin and his soon to be wife in the area. We’re also not all that far at about an hour and fifteen minutes.
He could afford his own place, or he could look to get roommates, or join some people who need a roommate. I never actually lived alone - after college I remained in my apartment with my friends, until I moved home with my parents, then met my husband. I couldn’t even say what it’s like to live alone. When you don’t know people how lonely is it? But on the flip side, who’s to say your roommate will be your friend?
Two of the three got roommates after graduating college as the started their first jobs. The two that had roommates seemed to have an easier time making friends. Friends of the roommates became their friends and gave them opportunities to meet more people. The child that didn’t have a roommate had a lonely first year and decided to get a roommate the second year and is now much happier. It is nice to be able to share expenses too.
My kid had no choice - he needed a roommate (friend from yr ahead of him) to afford to live in Boston. He is moving up to a much nicer place in September. It’s a three bedroom for $4000/month. Another friend from college will be the third roomie as his gf is moving to NC for law school.
He really likes having roommate. There is also a huge contingent of kids from his college in Boston so he also had instant social circle. I’m pretty sure none of his friends live alone.
D has had her own room but shared lodging with others. It keeps costs down and is more social but gives her privacy. It’s a good combo for her. S has lived on his own in his own place since 2011 when he started his job. He LOVES it.
I would go for roommates… it saves money, and it can give you somewhat of a built-in social circle. Most of my friends are in other cities; if I weren’t living with roommates I would probably barely leave my apartment and interact with other people at all!
Our son’s being relocated to a different city from where he graduated. He’s getting his own one-bedroom apartment. He, and we, don’t want to deal with him rooming with strangers,
S1 (2013 grad) and S2 (2016 grad) both chose to have roommates and it has been great. S2’s roommate is now moving in September so my son was in a position to either live alone (albeit very $$$ so would have been hard) or have another roommate. He chose a roommate. Fortunately, both live with college friends but I think they would have been OK with random people, if necessary.
I will add that both of my boys have expressed that living alone at this age would be lonely - all of their peer group have roommates at this point. And, that is even with the fact that they both have a large group of college friends in their respective cities. S2 lives here in DC so he even has HS friends in town!
Having said that, I do think it depends on his personality too. A friend’s D lives alone (has since graduating) and loves it.
He seems to be leaning towards living alone. He can afford a smallish place in Alexandria. He thinks if he could just be settled with a normal schedule he could go out and join things and meet people, but have his own space at night. He’s a friendly kid, not into sports at all. We’re going to go together and look at some places and let him decide. I do think the area has many young professionals so it shouldn’t be impossible to find friends. We were talking about the transition - he is not one to embrace transitions - I was telling him this next phase is exciting, but the hardest part is making friends. He will no longer just be with age mates in forced circumstances.
This is giving me flashbacks to his first days in Kindergarten. Does he have someone to have lunch with? Does he know what he’s doing? Is he making friends and fitting in? (substitute Kindergarten for college as well ;))
I’ve had roommates (obviously in addition to my now-spouse) since I graduated. Anywhere from 1 (currently) to 4 (that was not a good situation).
During my master’s, I needed the extra help. I don’t now but let friends move in and out as they need a place to stay. I don’t ask for rent unless it is a very extended stay.
I bought my house 2 years after graduating undergrad and have extra rooms. Until they’re used by a baby Romani, I’m happy to have people come and go.
I would absolutely not have ever liked to live alone. It’s just not my thing.
My S has lived alone since graduating. He was looking forward to it after having a roommate for 4 years undergrad. He moved out of state and didn’t know a soul. He went around his apartment building, knocked on doors, and introduced himself. He made a bunch of friends that way, and also at his job. He also attended young professional groups in his new town and made another group of friends there. He did say that after grad school this fall (where he will also live alone), he will likely get roommates so he can spend less on living expenses.
S1 is like psychmomma’s boy, can’t wait to get his own place after all the roommate issues. His job starts in August and he is looking at 1 br apartments. The kid is somewhat fastidious and is tired of cleaning up other people’s messes and doing their dishes. Lucky for him, his gf of 2.5 years is even more neat than he is.
I loved having roommates back in the single days but mine were always acceptably clean. Really, who spills an entire bottle of soy sauce and doesn’t wipe it up?
D1 had a single in college and she enjoyed it. When she graduated I asked her if she wanted get her own place. I was surprised that she didn’t want to live alone. She thought it would be too lonely. She was careful to find someone who had similar salary and work schedule (12-14 hrs a day) as her. She also didn’t choose to live with more than one person. They didn’t see much of each other, but they went out on weekends and had parties together. They ended up living together for 3 years until D1 moved in with her fiancee and the roommate went to get her MBA.
My oldest makes good money and is not particularly user friendly so he lives alone. I think he’d actually be better off with a housemate, but I am mum.
Younger son after quite a while of living with us is now sharing an apartment with someone who is in the same Navy program as he is. They knew each other slightly at Tufts and overlapped, but were not in the same class at OCS. It was amusing seeing them try to agree on which apartment to pick (from a long distance). They ended up with one that has a good layout, but apparently ended up having a pretty serious cockroach problem which they made the landlord take care of. They’ve been busy buying furniture and hopefully are getting a long. It’s only been a little over two weeks.
Shared apartments or houses while we were in grad school. Our shared house situation at Caltech was wonderful, we had an eating group there that met five nights a week that I still miss.
After we were married, the apartment that the Max Planck Institute provided for us required us to have one roommate. We had a different one every year. I barely remember the first one, we really liked the second one and are still in touch with her, the third was sort of unfriendly, but did nothing awful. However she was the impetus for jumping at the chance to switch apartments with a family in the same building who unbeknownst to us had been eying our apartment for a while!
My first son wanted to live alone but after a year he found he missed roommates and moved in with another guy. My second had a roommate for 2 years to save money and just bought a house. I preferred living alone and immediately moved into a studio apartment right after college when I started my job in August. I love my husband and my kids, but I could seriously have lived alone my entire life and been content. My third is living alone this summer and for the first time will stay in a one-bedroom for his last year of college after rooming with 4-6 guys in a house for 3 years.
Both my kids always have had roommates. Both were able to find people they knew well, so never had to worry about the “bad” roommate. S is rooming with a friend he’s known since he was two, who is so genially reclusive that it’s pretty much like S has an apartment to himself except when they share pizza now and then. He could probably afford one by himself, but this is cheaper and he sort of has company. D shared apartments with college friends, then work friend, till she moved in with BF and eventually married him. She would hate to be by herself no matter what.
My son first moved with a roommate who he knew. They loved together for two years…then he got his own small apartment, he lives is an affordable area to do so.
When my DS went to grad school…he lived in his own place…rather than do the random roommate thing.
DD lives in her own apartment in an area with average rental costs. She just didn’t want to do the random roommate thing.
My S lived in two shared-house situations after grad school, for economic reasons. (And even that wasn’t as cheap as he would have liked. Rentals are in demand and surprisingly expensive the area.) Now he lives with his GF in a nicer apt farther away for about the same cost as his earlier rentals, but they split it. Commute went from 5 minutes to 30. Oh well.
His shared situations were not with friends, and everyone pretty much went their own way.
My niece moved to DC and knew several people who lived there, including her college roommate/hs friend who was already in law school. Niece decided to live in the city, with no car, in a tiny studio apartment. She’s been there just over a year and really likes her choice. She walks to work, about a mile, and takes the metro/uber/bike anywhere else she needs to go. One of her best friends, who has a car, just moved back to their hometown. Niece still has this core group of friends but has added some from work and from a few groups she’s joined. She just got a raise so joined a gym and can afford a few more treats like theater tickets or weekends away (money was pretty tight last year).
She’s happy not to have the car in the city and really hasn’t missed it. Loves living in her little room.