My son has asked my opinion and I honestly don’t know what to tell him as I am torn. He is a new grad who will soon be moving away to a new city for his first job. Money is not an issue as he will be earning a good salary. He has found a really nice studio apartment in an upscale area located right downtown (lots to do and the unit is located right over a fun market and in a fun part of town), but it is expensive and he would be living alone in a city where he doesn’t know anyone. He has also found a potential living situation (answered an ad) sharing a house a few miles out of downtown (still in a cool area, not quite walking distance to downtown, but probably a cheap Uber ride) with someone who appears to be a really nice guy (totally different career paths and personalities from what he can tell and seven years older, but easy-going and pleasant). He was excited about the prospect of getting his own place after having roommates all four years of college, but is now uncertain. What would you tell your child? I know he likes his privacy, but also doesn’t want to be lonely.
I wish my kid had a roommate…but really…he didn’t want to risk the random roommate thing…so he has his own place. And he likes that.
Another year or two of a roommate to split costs with could make a big difference in having funds available for travel, a car, accelerating paying off loans or saving for a down payment/getting a 401K started. In essence, your son would be learning to live below his means, which is a hugely valuable life skill.
none of mine could afford their own apartment so it wasn’t even an option… but looking back, having a roommate was a nice transition to a new city. Even if they aren’t BFF’s, it’s someone to watch a game with on a night when he’s too pooped to make plans but doesn’t want to be by himself, and it’s always great to have back up at home to split the stupid chores. And split the cost of the zipcar to go to Walmart or Costco occasionally!
My son prefers roommates. When he left job mid year, we paid more for an apartment with 6 month lease. Sure enough, he left to live closer to job and with a roommate for next year. He also,preferred grad school dorm 2 years than moving into a 2 bedroom.
It comes down to,personality of the person. I was sick of roommates, and took an apt. In a less desirable neighborhood to live alone. My son likes roommates. Different people, different goals.
Yup, I suppose he will figure it out. On one hand, he is tired of roommates. On the other hand, it is daunting to move ten hours away when you don’t know the city or a soul living in it and you’re coming home in the evening to a very quiet apartment. I can see both sides of the coin.
D1 graduated with a good paying job. I thought she would want a place of her own, but I was wrong. She told me that she didn’t want to come back to an empty apartment. It worked out very well for her. Her roommate was a good friend from high school in the same line of work, which meant neither one of them were in the apartment that much. But they went out to dinner when they were home and had morning coffee on weekends. D1 liked to decorate and the roommate could careless. D1 ate out of real plates and utensils and the roommate used paper goods. They lived together for 4 years until the roommate went off to business school and D1 moved in with her BF.
My S debated this and eventually got an apartment on his own. He considered a couple of situations but they just weren’t right (ex. wanted to spend different amounts, live in a different part of the city, work hours were too different etc.) But we live 40 minutes north and he has friends in the city so he had a different situation.
My niece just got a TINY apartment of her own in DC. She really wanted to live alone. She has a BFF (and her college roommate) who is in law school and is trying to get an apartment for next year in the same building, which will be nice as they can do some stuff together but the BFF is a student and has a student schedule and niece is a ‘young working professional’ and has working hours and events. I think after living alone for a year she might be more interested in saving money and sharing.
If it were me, I’d take the solo apartment. It’s unknown if he’d have anything in common with the roommate, and he’ll probably meet a lot of people at his new job. With living within walking distance, he can stay after work to get a drink or join a gym nearby.
Walking distance makes such a huge difference - so much more fun! Also, random roommates can come with various basically live-in girlfriends, which would isolate him as the “third wheel,” even making dinner in the kitchen as the couple prepare their own.My young adult kids got very tired of those “extra” roommates who they never signed up for living with, and who never contributed anything to the apartment expenses.
walking distance vs. a cab/Uber ride?
If there isn’t good public transportation as an option instead of that cab/Uber ride, I’d vote for the walking distance.
Well, his job is actually 25 minutes north of the city that he will be living in. The downtown studio that he’s found is located in the heart of the city where he’d be living (where all the shops, restaurants, etc… are), but would still be a 25 minute commute to work. The living situation with a roommate would be about 3-4 miles out of the downtown area (but in a district that is still known for it’s food, shops, etc…), but would not be within walking distance of downtown attractions and would also still be a 25 minute commute to his work. We’re going to check out all the options this coming weekend during his house-hunting trip, but I really want him to make his own decision. Wish I felt more strongly in one direction so that I could offer an opinion, but I don’t…
In that case, if he can get downtown when he wants to without having to pay downtown rental prices, then the roommate situation can make sense unless he can find something decent even closer to his workplace. I hate commuting - BTDT,
Oldest d set out alone for a first job. She knew some people in the city, but wasn’t close, and since she moved to work in a college town, she’d missed apartment season (everybody signs leases in March and moves in August). D wasn’t comfortable with random roommate. She wasn’t even comfortable with a lot of the apartments still available (ground floor, and she was single and living alone). Her place turned out much like your son’s option A. It was a 1 bedroom (under 600. Sq ft), right in the middle of the action, and pricey. Not going to lie, when you have nothing but a couple of acquaintances, even an introvert gets lonely in a new city. BUT living alone forced her to get out and get involved, and being “right there” made it easy for her to do things spur of the moment.
Her lease is up in July, and she is moving farther out of the city center to get more space for less money, but she is still living alone. She had friends she was seriously considering as roommates, but decided that after a year alone, she likes having her own bathroom and a few other perks.
S has lived alone in his own place since graduating from college in 2010. He values his privacy and is able to host guests (has sofa that converts to double bed in living room). He also runs a business out of his home as hobby and is able to store inventory in his place.
D rented a room in a house and now has her own room in a 2 bedroom place with a friend. She’s much more social and enjoys having a room mate while having her own room.
I’m sure your S will figure it out–pros and cons for each, as you and he knows.
My son is in the exact situation, and he wants a roommate. More for the companionship and making friends, but getting more apartment for the money is also nice. Any suggestions besides Craigslist?
My son found his roommates on a (college name in city name) Facebook group. It’s worked out really well. While he didn’t know the guys personally beforehand, when they looked each other up on Facebook, they found that they had many friends in common. My son even knew one guy’s sister. The other guy was friends with one of my son’s roommates at college. So – that’s one idea of how to find a less random and compatible roommate.
Can also see if the HS alum association may have info about other folks from the same HS in the city your kiddo is moving to. The Facebook connection sounds promising.
S moved into an expensive but sad little apartment by himself about 10 minutes from work last August. His company has an internal marketplace type webpage and after 7 months he moved into a home with 3 other guys who work for the same company. He has his own bedroom and bathroom and uses the garage to work on his car. He pays less to live there too.
My D1 lived in an apartment with 2 roommates get first couple years in
DC (each with their own room). It was really good for her (and cheaper, too). It helped get expand her social circle more quickly. She is still good friends with them even though they don’t live together any more. She found them on Craigslist. They were pretty close to her in age – a year or two older. I’m not sure your son will have a lot in common socially with someone who is almost 30, though.