A few months back we had to put our 13 year old kitty to sleep after she had an embolism. Time flies by and sure enough, D wants another kitty, plus our 11 year old kitty seems lonely- moping around the house, seems at loose ends. We adopted a kitty from a rescue on Monday- she’s 14 weeks old…I know…she is young. But she is adorable.
Right now we have new kitty in the spare room with the door closed. She’s still trying to get used to us. A little skittish, shy but playful. I’m thinking of taking her kitty bed and exchanging it with old kitty’s bed so they can smell each other. Then find a child gate so they can see each other then finally have them in a supervised situation. I’m thinking this may take a few weeks/months. Is my thinking correct?
It has been 11 years since we did this the last time and I don’t remember it being this hard. Also, how much time should we spend in the spare room with the new kitty? I don’t want to overwhelm her but I also have things I need to do. So far D, S, H, and I are rotating shifts in the spare room so the new kitty feels loved.
Congrats on the new kitty! You are on the right track. Kitties will probably be able to jump over a child gate. We built a screen door to fit the spare room door jam where we kept our new kitty, so he and Older Kitty could get acquainted. It’s quite easy and inexpensive. We then took turns allowing Older Kitty into the spare room to sniff around, while New Kitty was allowed freedom to roam the house. After several days they were able to be together and they got along pretty well. I think it took about 4-5 days, but every situation is probably different.
We have two old lady cats who refused to accept the young hellion brought into lives for months, not weeks or days. What slowly but surely turned the corner was feeding them their nightly wet food within closer and closer proximity to each other. We are now finishing year three together. One older cat will never accept the fact that the young one is here to stay and we still have spats when he gets too close (which he thoroughly enjoys doing). The other older cat has a playmate and seems happier with our wild child feline. We never considered having it not work out okay; I think that’s the key, really. All are here to stay, so cope with it became our mantra.
It really depends on the cats, and it might take longer than you think. My old, fat american citizen cat was not a fan of D’s fearless immigrant cats, but she had to deal with the fact that they were here to stay. It took about a year for her to finally accept that idea. It was two against one… Now, the three of them run to greet me as I exit the master bedroom door in the morning. I have not seen spats or hissy fits in a while. All three sometimes curl up in the lunar chair with me… Definitely a huge progress.
Apparently, it is easier when it is only two cats, and the resident cat is older and bigger than the newcomer.
My advice: you are on the right track, but if fur starts to fly, don’t get discouraged. I though I would have to separate my cats forever, but giving them food and catnip in a controlled environment helped.
Really good ideas here. I like what you have planned, and would add letting kitties trade living areas and having them eat closer and closer together.
Do spend time with the kitten so she gets socialized. We rescued a badly injured kitten a few years ago and had to be careful about handling him while he healed and I think that lack of contact warped him. (He is skittish and nervous and doesn’t like being touched.)
A lot will depend on kitty personalities, which you can’t control. You will just have to pay attention to what works and what doesn’t and how fast you can proceed.
I rescued a non hurt kitten and brought her home to my two cats. Kept kitten contained for the first few days. She was an unusually exuberant little kitten, though, not at all shy, and wanted the run of the house. One of my older cats was okay with her by the end of day seven. They weren’t friends, but older cat stopped hissing and they could be together peacefully. Damaged cat found kitten terrifying and went and hid from her. By day seven he wasn’t hiding, but he was still hissing. I don’t know how the story would have ended: kitten was adopted by a neighbor.(Kitten was rescued from the middle of a busy urban intersection; it wasn’t planned.)
Can you take the new kitty out of her room to play with her and feed her in the presence of the old cat and see what happens? When we adopted a new kitten eons ago, Mr. shoved the new kitten right into the old cat’s face. The old lady hissed, put her paw on the kitten’s back, then… proceeded to lick the kitten! We were shocked. No wars, no flying fur, no separate rooms were ever needed!
You just don’t know how they’ll react to each other or even what that means. For example, we have 2 that are used to each other but they can’t play fight because the older isn’t comfortable enough with any cat (other than his dead brother) and nothing will change that. So their relationship is cordial, sometimes affectionate and sometimes annoying chasing around with hissing. That’s just the way cats are.
I found a tiny kitten on the street. He could barely walk but his first reaction on seeing our large female was to rear back and hit her in the face. He was alpha from birth. A lot depends on innate personality. We have a 1/2 cat, a feral that comes in to eat and sometimes sleep and relax - and who loves to be held but won’t stay indoors - and that animal is scared of our older cat but isn’t scared of the younger, more dominant cat. They are actual buddies and hang out sometimes and always greet each other as equals. Why? No one knows: the other cat is milquetoast and the feral stays out of his way. It’s the way the personalities mesh.
So you can do all the right things and they’ll maybe co-exist, maybe be friends, maybe fight sometimes (as fun/as non-harmful aggression). Or you can do it wrong and they love each other. Beats me. Beats everyone. They’re cats.
No advice (I have dogs, not cats, and when we had a cat he ran the household!) but I just want to say thank you for rescuing! Best of luck to your new furry family member
Is the 11-year-old a male or female? If male, keep them physically separated until the kitten is old enough to defend herself, unless there is direct human supervision.
Sounds like you’re doing everything right. Gradual introduction, exchange of scented articles, baby gate (though be sure one or both can’t jump right over the gate). You can try feeding them treats on either side of the gate, a few feet away but within sight of each other. They might come to associate good things with each other’s presence. Also (with a human partner) try playing with each near the gate, for the same reason. Playing will also give the new kitten confidence.
Also be sure you have enough litterboxes (1 per cat, plus one more). This can head off problems down the line.
Your older cat moping likely doesn’t mean he/she was pining for a new buddy. He/she may miss the old buddy, but the kitten probably won’t be seen as a replacement. Cats just don’t operate that way. In our house the goal isn’t friendship, just the ability to live peacefully in the same environment.
My old cat loved everyone. He always took to the latest kitten with great enthusiasm and was happy for another feline in the house. The current old cat, an anxious, isolationist16 year old female, will only tolerate the kitten we got maybe 4 years ago now. They co exist, with occasional fits of hissing. However, they sometimes seem to parallel live, like parallel play. Eat together, go downstairs at the same time. And this apparently is as good as it gets.
We got a kitten when our older cat was 5. We kept the kitten in one of the kid’s bedrooms for a couple of days (it was over Christmas break, and Snowmaggedan, so there were lots of people around to pay attention to both cats. When we let her out they were fine. I don’t remember any cat fights, but they didn’t hang out together at first. Now, 5 years later, they tend to sleep close to each other but not touching. They play fight, and the younger one knows when the older one means business, as far as getting away. The one big problem we had, was the older cat LOVED the kitten food, and gained a lot of weight from it. We were never successful feeding them and taking the food away. Good luck.
Thank you everyone for the advice. Both kitties are girls so that may make it easier- or not. The little one will come up to you when you go into ‘her’ room. She will play a lot and likes to get on top of a bookshelf to take a nap. Today we have set up a screen ‘door’ so the two kitties can see each other. So far the older one is ignoring the upstairs so we will have to entice her at dinner time.
I’ll keep you posted on our progress. I’m hoping for the best- a quick way to friendship, but we are preparing for the worst- a cold war that may take time. Either way this new kitty is here to stay. She is adorable, hardly cries at all and purrs a bunch.
well, round 1 is over. Older kitty ran at the screen ‘door’ and put a dent in the metal base. The screen is intact which is good. Both kitties were fluffed and the older kitty ran downstairs. we’ll see how it goes, it’s only been 4 hours.
Aw, I was hoping for your sake the older cat would take a maternal interest in the baby. When we got our second cat, a kitten, the first one, a 6 month old male, decided he was its mother, followed it everywhere and washed it thoroughly. Kitten was rather annoyed at the excess attention, but tolerated it. Hard to imagine what goes on in those little heads!
The screen door is, IMHO, not a good idea because cats bond to a physical territory. Cats overlap outside territories and similarly will share or overlap inside territories, friends or not, but when a cat sees another cat at the “door” to its core territory it will generally react defensively. Heck, one of mine used to howl from inside the glass at his brother who wanted in - then it would go away because the cat outside became his brother when he was inside. Weird. But I’m not sure there is a better way.
I’ve found that food/treats work because they want tuna more than just about anything else. And holding one in sight of the other so they get used to being in the same territory. Giving one a treat while holding the other helps. They’re quick learners: once they realize this cat is here to stay, they’ll find ways to avoid each other until they decide how much they like each other
Update. Older kitty ‘tolerates’ young kitty. We are able to let the young kitty stay out of kitty lockup (aka- the spare room) at night. Both kitties are doing well. Once in a while when personal space has been invaded, they take turns hissing at each other and have the occasional ‘slap fight’, but no blood has been drawn. Yay. We still have a little ways to go but I think there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
It’s funny to watch, the young kitty will follow the older kitty and when the older kitty stops to look at young kitty, the young one let out this baby hiss… We may have a few more months before we reach compatibility…or not…because cats can be so contrary.
