New teacher going crazy

Parent Cafe
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<p>Hi. My sister is a teacher teaching her first job. She has 31 third graders in an urban school. She does not qualify for an assistant in her room because the school does not allow new teachers to have any help.</p>

<p>Of the 31, there are 7 children who repeatedly curse, scream, hit other children and my sister, and disrupt the class all day long. My sister has tried positive reinforcement, time out, and every other tactic she can think of but the children’s behavior is getting worse, not better.</p>

<p>My sister has a mentor, but there is another new teacher in the school who shared how horrible her class was with the mentor and she was fired. So my sister is afraid to share what a hard time she is having for fear that she will be fired too.</p>

<p>My sister is tempted to quit as she cries every day and is so exhausted at the end of the day that she is in bed at 7PM. </p>

<p>I feel so badly for her and don’t know what to tell her, so I figured that I would pose this question here for any other teachers or adults that might offer some advice.</p>

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<p>

I would imagine this isn’t the entire story. I’m not saying that the new teacher wasn’t fired, though firing a newly-employed teacher only 3 or 4 months into the school year would be an extreme action in most schools. I can’t imagine a district in which an employee is fired merely because of complaining to a mentor.</p>

<p>The mentor-new teacher relationship is a valuable one. It would be a shame for your sister to miss out on the mentor’s potentially very helpful information about classroom management. I wonder if your sister had any classroom management training? I’ve had two daughters teach in underfunded urban districts, one who was traditionally trained and one who did TFA. Both had training in classroom management, and were pleased at how effective it was.</p>

<p>Since this is your sister’s first job, I presume she recently graduated from a teacher training program. Can she contact someone she knew as a student - a professor who mentored her, one of the teachers who supervised her in the classroom - for some practical suggestions?</p>

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<p>There is complaining, and then there is describing a situation, and having a discussion as to how to handle it. Retired teacher friends who are mentors love their jobs, and helping new teachers. </p>

<p>Though there is much reason for complaint, discussing the situation in a professional manner will tend to garner more respect. </p>

<p>And then she should go throw dirt clods at a trash can or some such primal action, and release her pent up frustration.</p>

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<p>^Building on GLM’s comment: At every communication with the mentor, she should begin by describing several positive things occurring in the classroom for some of the other students. At the end of all that joy, she can launch into, “But I am concerned about seven other students whose behavior seems to be worsening. Can we focus on more effective behavior management solutions for them? I’ve tried x, y and z but I’m stumped.”</p>

<p>Never, ever describe the classroom as being in turmoil.</p>

<p>Another avenue: ask the mentor if it’s time to flag some of these students for observation by the school psychologist or social worker, to see if they might qualify for some special needs assistance (pull-out or push-in) while in her classroom. If they observe, just carry on and let them carry on. Don’t feel defensive. The psychologist is there to watch the child misbehave. She might also have some suggestions on that specific child.</p>

<p>No amount of teacher training can prepare someone for the extreme challenge of first year in a challenged school. Also, some of the behavior techniques I used to calm children were hated by my administration, including putting the classroom into rows of desks (instead of grouped into centers) and letting one child sleep on my coat under her desk. Some of the techniques that worked weren’t allowed as old-fashioned. Others were just wacky; I’d stop the class and call the child’s Mom on my cellphone, describe the misbehavior, and ask her to talk with her child (in front of the whole class, who watched with rapt attention to what might happen to them, next). That was effective in numerous ways, but I just made it up in desperation. It’s very tough work. The second year is somewhat better, just because you’ve been through one year of the school rhythms.</p>

<p>The biggest newbie mistake is asking the children to do what you want. “Let’s all sit down, guys, okay?” is weakness. “Sit down now, please” or the more PC “Time to sit down now” delivered with a solid air of authority is essential. Don’t ask - give commands.</p>

<p>ETA: Just reread the OP. That there are children hitting your sister and other children in class is unacceptable everywhere. She might just focus on that one issue, with the mentor or principal, and ask for guidance on how to make that stop. If the children see that happening, the class can’t be working very well. Start there. They will probably tell her to redo her “transition routines” - how she calls the children to line-up at the door to change rooms. They might have her redo the whole class routine for the “First Fifteen Minutes” of every day, managing how each child first enters the room. There are so many practical methods, she needs to have benefit of them to see what works. </p>

<p>Don’t be afraid to inquire. The fact that the school assigns mentors is already progressive and shows they understand new teachers need support. I wish I’d had a mentor!</p>

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<p>My best friend is a second generation teacher who is now a principal. Her mother told her before she started her first classroom:</p>

<p>1) don’t smile at the students for the first three months
2) expect to cry every night for the first year
3) it will get better</p>

<p>-- she smiled against the advice
– she cried almost every night
– it got much much better after the first year</p>

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<p>In my district, anything a teacher tells a mentor is confidential. This is why those who evaluate teachers cannot serve as mentors, as they cannot wear the hat of both confidante and judge.</p>

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<p>Im totally bookmarking this.
Youngest is going into education, and while she is very capable, ( she was the middle school counselor at a residential camp for several summer when she was barely five years older than her cabins), I hate to think of her crying every night, although I know that kids, especially middle schoolers, love to push buttons, it diverts them from their own crap.</p>

<p>But 3rd graders that have such behavior issues is a red flag. Does the school typically dump all the troubled kids in one room, or is that the % per classroom? I agree that the level of violence is absolutely unacceptable, which is why Im wondering if she is prone to exaggeration at all.</p>

<p>Children, especially 31 of them can be very draining, and even if only two kids are disruptive, if it is an everyday thing, you would never be able to relax. Two kids could seem like six!
Finding a way to relax and be calm may help to calm the kids.
[url=<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Educating-Esm”>http://www.amazon.com/Educating-Esm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>One of my D’s close friends quit teaching less than 3 years after starting, this despite the fact that it had long been her dream to return to the inner city school system from which she’d graduated in order to instill a love of science in future generations, as had been done for her when she was a high school student. This young woman graduated with a degree in physics from one of the top LACs in the country, obtained a Master’s Degree in education from Duke University, and was quickly hired by her old school district to serve as a high school physics teacher. Though newly married, and saddled with a formidable amount of student loan debt, she was extremely motivated and excited at the prospect of making science “live” for some of the nation’s most at-risk students. The job, needless to say, didn’t pay much, certainly nothing commensurate with the level and equality of her education, and apparently, she received very little guidance or support from the school district. She also went home and cried nightly for the first year. It didn’t take long for her to burn out, sorry to say. This happens all too often in urban school districts everywhere. I was sorry to hear things ended this way, but am equally sorry to admit that things happened exactly as I feared they would. I wonder if it’s possible to fix even half the most pressing problems plaguing such schools, or for them to hold onto teachers like my D’s friend.</p>

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<p>It is ridiculous to have only one teacher for 31 students. Teacher can’t teach and students can’t learn when there are few uncontrollable students. Can’t those misbehaving students be sent to the principle’s office? I think hitting would warrant such consequence, and the administration should deal with it.</p>

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<p>Our son is now a third year public school teacher.
He’s in a suburban district, not inner city.
He’d never admit to crying every night if it had happened but we saw the strain of his first years. MANY hours after school learning the ropes and preparing for the school day.
His district also had REQUIRED (monthly?) Seminars for the newbies.
I’m sure he encountered behavior problems here and there but not to extent OP describes.</p>

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<p>I’m very sorry for your friend, but I’m even sorrier for the rest of the kids in the class who will be basically losing most of a year of education if she doesn’t find a way to get a grip on this situation.</p>

<p>She needs to work with her mentor NOW, using the technique suggested above: talk about what is going right first and don’t say or act as if the class is out of control. Hitting, especially, is over the line. She can’t be the only teacher in the school with kids like this in her class…unless they’ve dumped all the problem kids on the newbie. What’s school policy for hitting and cursing? Is there such a thing as sending a kid to the principal’s office?</p>

<p>The first year of teaching at any level is hard. Heck, I remember the first time I taught a software class at a customer site: I went back to my hotel room and cried on the phone to H, who was then my BF. :slight_smile: The next day I was fine, and never looked back. (I also learned not to believe the person who handed you a package of markers and said they were the right kind to use on their erasable whiteboard. Not. :rolleyes:)</p>

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<p>I’m sorry to disagree with so many but I’ve been teaching for twenty years and I don’t know one teacher who cried every night during their first year. If that is happening, something very fundamental is wrong with the situation. </p>

<p>During the last decade there has been a trend toward putting adults in the classroom who have no classroom experience. In MA where I teach, a person can get a teaching license by having a BA in their field and passing the MTEL. No student teaching necessary according to the brilliant powers that be. That, IMO is like putting a doctor in the examining room without ever having had any contact with a body, only an understanding of text book anatomy.</p>

<p>Would like to add that I have cried (not every night). One such event was during my first year at an inner city school. I had kept a group of students after school (back when that was allowed). One of the students boyfriends showed up angry that his GF was being kept. He pulled the fire extinguisher off the wall and sprayed the walls of my art room. When that was settled and everyone left, I sat at my desk and cried. A little third grade girl happened to walk in and see me. She asked me why I was crying and I said that I had a bad day. She sat with me and drew me a picture to cheer me up. I think of that girl often.</p>

<p>I’m curious to know if the OPs sister has done student teaching?</p>

<p>Having said that, I agree with Oldfort that 31 students is an unacceptable classroom size and what’s with the no assistant for new teachers? What kind of criteria is that? Assistance should be given because of children’s needs, not adults needs, regardless of the experience or lack thereof of the teacher.</p>

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<p>I meant to comment on this, too. Maybe I’m naive, but I find it far-fetched, as well as the idea that a new teacher would be fired for talking to a mentor. It makes me wonder about the whole story. Is there more to it? Is there mis-communication? Is the sister a particularly timid or anxious person?</p>

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<p>I worked in a challenging elementary school for years. The entire school used the Cantor assertive discipline model. It was our own model, not a literal use of Cantor’s every technique. I thought it was a little harsh and unbending at first, but I came to see the value in it. Basically, the philosophy is that I, as a teacher, have the right to teach, and you, as a student, do not have the right to prevent that. </p>

<p>We had very few, very clear, school wide rules that were enforced by every employee in the building. The rules were posed in every room. They were stated in a positive, not negative way: “I will keep my hands, feet and objects to myself”. Not “I will not hit, kick or throw objects.”. We had five rules. every adult in the building was responsible for every child in the building. We all had each other’s backs. There were very clear consequences for misbehavior.</p>

<p>There were also very clear rewards for good behavior, and the flip side of assertive discipline was making every effort to catch kids doing the right thing, and verbally complimenting them. The naughtiest ones need the most positive reinforcement. “Jimmy, I like how quickly you opened your book to page 43,” not “I am waiting for you all to get your books open…” </p>

<p>As a teacher in a challenging school, there is no sitting, no relaxing behind your desk… At least not at the beginning of each year. While you are teaching, you are walking, standing next to the kid who looks like he is about to lose it, and yes, letting a kid sit under your desk once in awhile. I always had a supply of crackers, and other food available. I usually had desks in rows, with each kid having space around his desk. Desks in groups are very difficult for some kids to handle. By the end of the year, we might group the desks, but even then there were some kids who didn’t want their desks touching. And that was fine. I had kids who needed to stand up occasionally. Their desks were in a place where they could do that without disturbing anyone else. And I never, ever took away recess as a punishment. Those naughty ones needed recess more than anyone!</p>

<p>We spent the first week of every year teaching our students how to behave, and once we had that down, we sailed through, with a lot more kindness and love than you might expect.</p>

<p>The thing is , kids really WANT to know the rules and expectations. Some kids come from such chaotic homes that they don’t have those things internalized, and ultimately appreciate a clear, external set of rules to live by. </p>

<p>One year I had a class of 24, with 14 of them having an I.E.P. of one kind or another, an an additional two boys mainstreamed from self contained classrooms to my class for part of the day. It was a wonderful year, but it was about seven years into my career, and I was a very confident teacher at that point.</p>

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<p>In New York City, as of September 2012:

And, according to the article wherein I found this information, nearly half of public schools exceed those numbers. New York Class Size: Nearly Half Of Public Schools Have Overcrowded Classrooms, UFT Says
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<p>Was the other teacher actually fired midyear, or was her contract simply not renewed at the end of the year? It’s rare for teachers to be summarily fired midyear without egregious misconduct. I think your sister needs to talk to the mentor and the principal immediately. If she does not attempt to use every resource available to her, including the mentor, to deal with her classroom problems, then it can be held against her when she is up for review. She is not doing herself any favors by doing nothing but crying herself to sleep and hoping the kids will magically change. She needs whatever institutional support she can muster. If she does so and ends up not getting renewed, it is a risk worth taking because such a working environment is intolerable anyway. At least she can say she did the best she could under the circumstances.</p>

<p>I find it hard to believe that the school categorically does not allow any assistance. It may not provide teaching assistants for the teacher herself, but if there are some children in the classroom with learning or behavior difficulties, those children may be legally eligible for aides. But they won’t get them unless someone like your sister points out the problems and starts the evaluation process.</p>

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<p>We also had really excellent support from the state runs area co-op of psychologists, social workers, special ed. experts, etc. I could put in a request for someone to come in and observe a particular child or to observe me to get suggestions, without having to initiate a formal evaluation. Sadly, that was 25 years ago, and I doubt that kind of support is available anywhere anymore.</p>

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<p>eastcoascrazy - I do the same with my young employees. :slight_smile: I let them know my expectations as soon as they show up to work. Once we have it down then we could really get down to work. It sounds like your school really has it down in teaching students, both behavior and academic.</p>

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<p>Oldfort, it worked really well as a parent, too!</p>

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<p>I feel for your sister. I know that having a ‘mentor’ sounds like a supportive idea, and it may very well be, but mentoring may also just be an administrative requirement and not a true source of help. It depends on the school and the district. </p>

<p>I can’t understand the idea of not allowing new teachers to have help. If there is help available, why on earth would they withhold it from newbie?. This does not point to a supportive environment. There are some schools where sending kids to the office for discipline is frowned upon. If that is the case, some teachers work together so that if a kid is being disruptive in Mrs. Smith’s class, they get sent to Mrs. Jones. She might want to check with other teachers to see if they sometimes do something like that.</p>

<p>For some practical advice…</p>

<p>There are several forums online for teachers (A to Z teacher is a good one) where
teachers can go for help and advice without worrying about ‘mentors’ and admin holding it against them. </p>

<p>If she hasn’t already, she might check out Whole Brain Teaching with Chris Biffle…look online…lots of youtube videos, also a comprehensive website.</p>

<p>And one of the best books I have seen for new teachers for starting a new year is “The First Days of School, How to Be an Effective Teacher” by Harry Wong.</p>