Newbie questions about 24/7 caregivers: legal questions, etc.

Parent Cafe
701

<p>My mother was accepted into the AL. When we met in her room at the NH I thought, she will not qualify for AL. But the case manager who assessed/interviewed her kept using phrases like “when you are here…” etc. So I thought, they will assess her at the highest need. Understandably, my mother asked me to leave the room when the case manager asked her questions about hygiene etc. After the meeting the case manager and the intake director met for ten minutes to discuss the admission. The intake director came back, said a few things and said Mrs., because of your age, your mobility needs, and your care needs, and your recent surgery (they keep calling the pacemaker installation a surgery), we have assessed you as needing Level 4 care." That is the highest care level. That adds up to $6,799 a month. </p>

<p>My mother will need constant care, from being helped out of bed, dressed, and seated with help into her wheelchair.Since her pacemaker was installed her condition has been bad. I guestion whether and how the pacemaker installation has contributed to her steep decline and the wisdom/need of the procedure. She seems to me to"fit right in" when I visit the NH; but AL has accepted her, it is of course MILES nicer than a NH which costs $15,000/mo, and the quality of care at this AL seems excellent. I saw dozens of residents, and only one woman looked as old and needy as my mother. </p>

<p>I have already arranged the mover. She moves in on Tuesday! I am meeting the moving man at her house tomorrow morning at 9:30. The intake director told me there is quite a lot we have to go over concerning the move in and all kinds of paperwork requirements, not to mention payment, and will call in the afternoon.</p>

702

<p>Good news. How are things on the home sale front?</p>

703

<p>So do they anticipate that she will move down to Level 3 care as she recovers from the surgery? Do you? </p>

704

<p>Dharmawheel, you did good. Congratulations on overcoming yet another hurdle.</p>

705

<p>So glad to hear she has a place and a plan. Good luck with the move. </p>

<p>Your persistence and hard work have made the difference. Good that they are trying to be realistic about the amount of care she needs and are able to provide it. </p>

706

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<p>This is correct.</p>

707

<p>Congratulations, Dharmawheel! I’m delighted for you, and I hope that your mom regains some strength before long. </p>

708

<p>Yes indeed, good news!</p>

709

<p>That must be a relief, Dharma. Will they be willing to re-assess and possibly reduce her care level in the future?</p>

<p>BTW, what does the doctor say about why she is doing so poorly after the pacemaker surgery?</p>

710

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<p>Great question, CF, and yes, in fact that is exactly what the intake director said when they assigned her to level 4–that they will observe her progress and reassess at the proper time to level 3. I left that out because it was too much already, and also because I just feel it is doubtful, but of course the professionals know better. I have seen her rebound amazingly from severe pneumonia and a colonoscopy/hospital/rehab stay, but this is different.</p>

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<p>Thank you MaineLonghorn for clarifying, and thank you to the moderating team for patience during a trying time. As I told you in a PM, I came to appreciate how the moderating team worked wisely and with good foresight. ) (Also thank you for following my thread!</p>

<p>And thank you to all who offered congratulations.</p>

<p>LasMa, the her cardiologist and the surgeon who performed the pacemaker installation dropped completely out of the picture. Before the procedure, I did have a long talk about the pros/cons of the procedure with the cardiologist, and he described it as assuring great strength to my mother’s heart function and basically the only option because her irregular heartbeat had her in and out of the hospital like a revolving door. But he did say she would need one night at the hospital and could then go home, which turned out to be way, way off. At the NH, her sole physician was the woman who would not stand and talk to me but would walk away; the the director at the AL said she did a superb job of filling out the MDs portion of the admissions papers.</p>

<p>On Sat, I got a very reassuring note from the realtor that things are moving normally and that the buyer is very eager. But I feel I must write to her this morning and say there must be communication among whomever are the appropriate parties that we must move with some urgency.</p>

<p>My SW friend wrote that $7,000 for my mother’s level of need is “cheap” in contrast to an AL she works with in a posh town near Westport where a month costs $14,000.</p>

<p>This morning I will get a moving quote from a man with the moving company, and from now until Tues will be sorting and packing. My mother’s room is quite a good size and the closet is remarkably large.
Tomorrow, the Estate Sale dealer comes to price the items for sale. Yes, there is something every day.</p>

711

<p>Great news. And $7000/month is less than a NH would cost.</p>

712

<p>And a lot less that Barbara was costing.</p>

713

<p>Barbara, plus utilities, maintenance, taxes, and food. Clearing roughly 200k, with a little SS thrown in, will still last roughly 3 years. </p>

714

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<p>I don’t understand. They’ve both died or retired or moved out of the area since the surgery?</p>

715

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<p>I still don’t understand this. It’s been weeks. If you’re eager to sign a contract, and the buyer is eager to sign a contract, why has no contract been signed? When I’ve bought and sold houses, over a period of two or three days we negotiated a price. Then we signed the contract.</p>

716

<p>Post-op, if the docs are satisfied with her progress in that respect, they can back off. Her own cardiologist, if she had one, would presumably see her on her routine schedule. That’s how it was for my mother’s bypass. If she’s in NH now, she has med attention, should some escalation be needed. I’m not sure what these other docs are needed for today. </p>

717

<p>Agree with CF. This is way slow. When we sold my dad’s house I happened to be out of town at a conference when our attorney got the contract from their attorney. He overnighted it to me at my hotel, I signed it and overnighted it back. Time is of the essence. This house has been on the market since late August/early September, yes? The contract should have been signed by now.</p>

718

<p>My BIL is a real estate agent back East. I was just visiting a couple of weeks ago, and took the opportunity to ask him about real estate deals in his state, thinking maybe when lawyers are involved, things take longer. Nope, he assured me, even in states where lawyers are involved, the initial contract typically is a boilerplate contract written up by the agent, and gets signed in a matter of a few days. </p>

<p>So it’s mystifying to me that with a willing seller and a supposed willing buyer, no contract has been signed. It’s also mystifying that Dharma’s agent says this is normal when by all accounts it isn’t.</p>

719

<p>New York is a notoriously slow real estate state, not least because lawyers are involved at every step. No harm to check in a one, maybe two times a week with the realtor and/or the lawyer but just a one-liner to make sure everything is moving along.</p>

720

<p>I think Dharma will refer us back to the oil tank issue. Yes, we all agree they could have lowered the price, possibly brought in more action and moved ahead- either the first guy committing or another party. We were all pretty consistent about the oil tank/septic- you tell prospective buyers and then deal with what comes next, negotiate. It’s not like they discovered nuclear waste buried on the property. </p>