When we moved to Florida my kids were in a very different climate socially. It was really the first time my Chinese daughter had experienced a lot of racism (especially from peers). It was at the time of Travon Martin, and of 4 kids being shot at a 7-11 because they played their music too loud next to a guy who didn’t like it. I told them both to cooperate with ANYONE who confronted them because that person probably had a gun, and tell me so I could deal with it. It seemed that everyone had a gun. Gave the same advice to both kids, the Chinese kid and the white kid. I felt the white kid was much more likely to get into a bad situation because she is clueless. Do they have a right to not answer questions, to have their hands in their pockets, to wear hoodies? Sure but I wanted them to cooperate so that they wouldn’t be shot.
These kids at CSU seemed very shy and the first thing they did was call their mother, who told them to come home. I think anyone at CSU would have tried to fix the situation if only they’d known. I think my own kids would have just continued on a self tour or asked someone what to do (back at admissions, at a desk in the library). These guys could also have gone to the Indian studies department if they wanted support.
@bhs1978 It would make her think twice before calling the police on others for making her nervous for being shy and brown or black in public places. Why does she suffer no consequences?
The woman who made the call is a knucklehead, busybody, and probably a bigot, but I feel no need to know her identity. If she wants to privately reach out to the young men with an apology, that would be a step toward acknowledging her error. The world doesn’t need to know, though. No good will come of that.
As far as the students go, of course you call your parents. I really don’t understand the need here to comment on what the young men should have done. They weren’t at fault here.
@mamom I assume she is already thinking twice. Fighting perceived hate with more hate is not an answer in my opinion. I have reread all of my posts in this thread and I have not defended her once. I have just refused to make a judgement on her perceived fears or her perceived motives.
What’s interesting to me is that I have been accused of “refusing to accept racism” because I won’t make a judgement. If looking at both sides of an issue causes that kind of accusation I can’t imagine what kind of threats she would get if her name is thrown out there.
I feel bad for what these boys have gone through but the vigilante justice that some here want is just not the answer.
So I still don’t believe your answer accomplishes anything.
So what if your kid was thought of as being weird or different and someone called the police on them? How would you feel then? I suspect your answer would be different.
My kids are white, and I have never had that problem, but both of my kids have attended urban schools with kids of different ethnicities. I know a young black women pulled over for driving around to pick up her younger brother and being black in an upscale white community, for an Indian being in a fender bender with me and having the white police harrang him for his poor driving skills, etc.
White people calling out other ethnicities making them uncomfortable need to be held accountable.
I also do not absolutely judge her. You have to have an open mind that you may not be aware of all the facts or the background of the white lady. However, if I were the two boys’ parent you can bet I would be furious and sad. I say this as a person who was called a “ch**k” every week growing up in Northern VA during 70s and early 80s and participated in racial fights. People who have not faced racism constantly really don’t know what it’s like. To this day, one of my heroes is Malcolm X, not Martin Luther King. Of course I understand why most people greatly admire MLK, but my personal peeve is my great admiration of Malcolm X.
Yes, because of our experience, both my mom and myself voted for Obama — I at least for the first term. And I would absolutely vote for an Asian American candidate as long as somewhat qualified. This is why I told my kid who’s going to Stanford to try to make a difference in society rather than make money.
@mamom, I’m sure you’ve seen the consequences of outing on the internet. There have been families who have received death threats and been chased from their homes after such incidents. If there were a way for her to receive consequences commensurate to what the boys experienced I’d be all for it, but I don’t think endangering this woman or her family is commensurate.
I agree the lady’s identity should not be outed. Too dangerous at this point. But maybe she could issue an anonymous apology. I sympathize with both the white lady and the two boys.
^^ Back in the 1990s I did some counseling with an African American teenage boy who lived in an apartment in an outer suburb of a large city. He was feeling stir-crazy at the apartment, had few recreational outlets, no way to drive himself anywhere (his mom worked long hours) and I suggested the possibility of jogging/running. The look of shocked disbelief on his face is something I won’t forget. “Are you crazy?” he said to me,“anybody seeing a 6’2 " black boy running down the street is going to get me arrested.”
I’m sure I learned a lot more about life outside of my bubble from that young man than he ever learned from me…
We taught our children not to divulge personal information to strangers just because they ask. Now if you don’t answer every stranger who demands to know your business they can call the police and have you detained? This is a horrible thing to be teaching our young people. The policemen’s response to the boys placed the blame squarely on their shoulders. It was all about what they could have done differently. In the video it sounds like one of the officers said the boys were “uncooperative” when questioned by the woman. I hope I misheard it. People have the right to go about their business without being accosted by strangers who want to play at being detective.
I wasn’t aware until today that the boys had returned to admissions to try to arrange another tour and were turned away. The college didn’t handle it so well either. I wonder if that’s why [Martha Denney, a former employee of CSU](GoFundMe Launched For Native American Students Who Were Questioned During Tour - CBS Colorado), started a GoFundMe to help cover the boys’ travel expenses.
People here on CC should also understand why many Asian American students are focused on studying and go into STEM fields. They feel STEM fields are most non biased and objective fields where they will be treated fairly. You are going to see more and more Asian and Indian doctors.
You’re assuming she feels badly about what happened. But maybe she feels perfectly justified, we have no way of knowing. We’re assuming she feels bad because that’s how a normal/rational person would feel, but a normal person wouldn’t have called the cops in the first place.
They chose to have their identities known. Their mother contacted the news media and the news outlets had the 911 call and police body camera footage released. There was nothing wrong with that, but it was their choice…
I’m happy to read that they did return to the admissions office. Sad to read that the admissions office wasn’t helpful.
Having your name be public is not a “consequence” in and of itself. The consequence would be what happened to her and her family as a result of having her identity revealed. It’s just a matter of time until it comes out, since people will be able to identify her voice from the call. The boys are probably not receiving death threats (although, who knows these days), but SHE will. Do you find that a reasonable punishment for her actions?
Cattle Decapitation is a well known band that protests animal mistreatment and consumption.
There are many other types of dark and scary T-shirt that both kids and adults wear today but they have nothing to do with public threats.
But again, why the focus on the kids and what they did, wore, etc.? They did NOTHING wrong. I feel it is really misplaced to try to find fault with them.