For those that think the woman avoiding describing the young men as minorities is a sign she might not be racist, I think you don’t understand the dynamics or the situation. She KNOWS she’s racist, and she wants those boys removed from the group. Yes, she keeps apologizing that she might be paranoid - that’s to gain sympathy, and to excuse what she is doing. She gives as complete a description as she can of the boys, but avoids saying anything about their ethnicity or race because she doesn’t want the person on the other end of the line to think that’s why she’s calling. She KNOWS it’s why she’s “uncomfortable.” This is a standard tactic used by racists, finding some other reason but the real one, to justify the way they feel.
As for consequences, even if there is the slightest possibility of death threats, I think identification would be appropriate. Watch the way these boys react to being pulled out. Their reaction shows they are not surprised, they are used to being set apart. They and all other minorities deal with irrational people on a daily basis, including people that are willing for them to be killed. If there is a risk of someone following through on a death threat, it is no more likely than the types of danger we face on a regular basis.
What I take from this, and the incident at Starbucks, and the women at the AirBnB? That it’s not OK for more than one brown person to be present at any given time, because it makes people uncomfortable. How would this have played out if a black parent had called because they were suspicious of two white males joining a tour at Howard or another HBCU?
Our neighborhood watch is so vigilant. Last week a neighbor reported that someone was trying to break into a house at 2am. It was the homeowner who had lost his key. Don’t know if the ‘burglar’ was sketchy or not. But I’d rather my neighbor err on the side of caution.
You’re welcome, bhs. Like I said, that may not be the exact offense. It was related to using police resources when none is needed, and that was the closest thing that sprang to mind. The bottom line is that only until there is some kind of consequence to this trumped-up hysteria of people calling the cops on people who are doing nothing wrong, it’ll continue. Enacting some consequence is what I think some of us would like so as to deter future such calls. It’s like people posting things anonymously … no fear of consequence emboldens them.
^^^Which is why many POC are leary of trying to break into their own home. The neighbor may be erring on the side of caution, but the homeowner is being put in a potentially dangerous situation.
"Magnetron: Crossing to the other side of the street when you see young black men is racist behavior. Defending it by saying you also cross the street when you see young white men is the old racist trope used by most of the racists I know and is patently disingenuous. "
I had a job long ago when I got out late at night. If people were moving at me in any quantity, I crossed the street, ran, got out my pepper spray, and did whatever I had to do to get where I was going as quickly as possible. I sure didn’t wait to see what color they were so I could satisfy some judgmental person making armchair calls after the fact.
Interestingly, the only time I did get attacked was in a highly traveled nice area at a bank machine and it was a white guy - something I knew only because we were under the lights. I was already back in my car, when he turned from the bank machine after getting money, and with a demonic look on his face, he jumped on my windshield and attempted to pound it in. I peeled out in reverse, throwing him off, and took off, praising the Lord that I was able to get away.
You can sit in erroneous judgment if you want. But that statement that crossing the street is racist -and disingenuous if they happen to be white - is completely nonsensical, given that most young women traveling alone will indeed cross the street or go in a shop or get out of the way however they can when approached by groups of young men, white, black, purple, or green. It doesn’t even take groups. Only one guy went after me.
Don’t stop being vigilant about your personal safety, @gallentjill . You need to live how you are comfortable. When I was younger I would make sure not to follow single women too closely, especially in dark parking lots at night. There is a normal level of fear that women live with in our society that is far different than my own.
But also, please understand, that if you cross the street to avoid black people who have given you no other indication they are dangerous than their appearance you should be prepared to own it. Young white men won’t care.
My wife has crossed a street to avoid a black man exactly once in her life. He had taken off his shirt and was yelling and waving a knife. She had reached her level of tolerance. Everyone has one.
It’s also a dangerous situation when burglars break into a home. We don’t want people to be afraid to call police for fear of being called racist and ignoring real crime. But people have to be sensible and not cry wolf in any situation.
@cu123 I grew up in Harlem and lived there most of my life. I worked a walking-the-street insurance job in that and most neighborhoods in Manhattan and the Bronx and Brooklyn. I had my share of physical altercations.
It worked very well. Don’t show weakness, in any situation. Crossing the street is showing weakness, and fear.
Eye contact is a dominant move, adding a smile and a greeting is disarming. I did it very intentionally if I felt nervous. At worst people thought I was a little crazy.
1 AM in Compton? Not my neighborhood but in my own hood I’d walk at 1AM and do the same thing.
My username reflects where I lived when my kids were getting ready to go to college.
“Ohmom of two: Oy. Crossing the street to avoid a group of men walking towards you is a weak move, IMO. I make direct eye contact and greet them, usually. City street smarts 101. Don’t act like a victim - no matter what race they are.”
Sometimes that indeed works. And that’s a judgment call in the scenario. Sometimes you do power through, and the failure to mention it doesn’t mean no one has ever chosen that option. But the one who makes the call is the one on site, not everyone else who wasn’t there.
Sometimes you make noise. Sometimes you slip away as quietly as possible and run. You just have to decide when you are in the moment. Sometimes coming at someone will antagonize some nut job and it was exactly the wrong thing to do.
Eye contact is a dominant move, adding a smile and a greeting is disarming. I did it very intentionally if I felt nervous. At worst people thought I was a little crazy.
Sure, sometimes that is exactly the right move. Making a judgement call given the situation at the time is necessary.
However, the Gray brothers joining the campus tour, presumably with others present, is not really the same (in terms of potential threat) as encountering someone on a dark night in a high crime area with no others present.
Yes, @TranquilMind I understand your point. That’s the judgement call I made every time. YMMV of course, I’m not the one who made a statement about where people “clearly live” and what their experiences are.
Just sharing mine and “IMO” should be presumed to append it.
IMO crossing the street is rarely a smart move, unless you are doing it while running away.
I am not sure why anyone would “fear” being called racist. If you did something and someone says it was a racist thing to do, sit down with yourself and reflect. Listen to why they said it was racist. Maybe you will learn something. Maybe you will conclude the person is wrong. Just don’t automatically get defensive. A person doesn’t have to be a member of the KKK or burn crosses on someone’s lawn to be racist. Racism comes in many forms.
My brother and SIL have a grandchild who has a black father (they are white.) Every time she comes to their house (she is 3), one of the first things my SIL does is takes out her braids and washes and straightens her hair. Oh, and changes her clothes if they are going somewhere. This is racism. With their own grandchild. They are trying to make her as white as they can (she is light skinned.) They would go on a rampage if you pointed it out to them. My niece has yet to confront them about it, but knows she will have to soon as this is very damaging to this young child.
Momof3DDs: My brother and SIL have a grandchild who has a black father (they are white.) Every time she comes to their house (she is 3), one of the first things my SIL does is takes out her braids and washes and straightens her hair. Oh, and changes her clothes if they are going somewhere. This is racism. With their own grandchild. They are trying to make her as white as they can (she is light skinned.)"
Why? Why are they taking out her braids? Did they tell you?
Why else would she change the style that the child shows up with, routinely? Why would she straighten a three year old’s hair, in opposition to how the parents had it? C’mon TM.