@MomOf3DDs So If I changed my grand child’s hair and clothing to something I like then I’m a racist. I love the presumption here, why don’t you just ask them if they don’t like there biracial grandchild? Are they embarrassed of her? Sounds like your family needs to have a sit down and talk things out. Or maybe call them racists, that’s just easier.
Didn’t say it was likely although it is possible. And some on this thread have said the would be ok with that.
@CU123 Sure, they are only racist if they say they are racist. Ok. Gotcha. SMH
The only people really in danger during this incident were the NA boys. If anything had gone wrong during this interrogation dance with police then they could have been seriously injured or worse. And all because some white woman was sickened by their presence at college, didn’t think they belonged and they didn’t submit properly to her great authority as a white woman during her interrogation.
Makes me so sad. They look like nice cute kids and they looked so scared during the police ordeal. What is wrong with people?
@gearmom That is what people seem to be missing or discounting, that these boys, and those around them, were put in danger. Any police encounter has potential danger for anyone immediately involved.
Not sure what you mean. I don’t believe I misspoke, unless “sketchy” is slang for something I’m not aware of. In my mind, it means intimidating or otherwise unsafe. It has nothing to do with color or race. White men dressed a certain way are every bit as sketchy as men of color.
I would like to clarify that I personally don’t make a habit of crossing the street in those situations. I was reacting to the idea that anyone who did was doing something inherently racist. I feel that crossing the street would probably draw more attention to myself and anyone wanting to do me harm is just as capable of crossing as I am. My usual strategy is to walk confidently and make a small non verbal greeting with a smile or nod if appropriate.
The one time I probably should have crossed the street was when a large man walked straight towards me holding out a huge knife. But I just stood there frozen like a deer in the headlights.
@gallentjill Reread you post.
The comment you referred to said
“Crossing to the other side of the street when you see young black men is racist behavior.”
Your response was
“I can’t agree to this. Fear of sketchy looking young men is not racist.”
The comment said nothing about sketchy looking men. It said young black men. Your reply would infer that young black men = sketchy looking young men hence why I said I hope you misspoke.
I’m the furthest thing from an expert, but even I’m aware that african american women have a complex relationship with their hair. Straightening the hair of a biracial girl without the express permission of her parents is just not something anyone, even the grandparents, should do. Yes, that act is indeed fraught with racial overtones and cannot be compared in any way to changing the hairstyle of a caucasian girl.
Seems odd that grandparents would want to change the grandkid’s hairstyle.
Okay, apologists–if your offspring brought your grandchild over with culturally “black” hair and outfit, would you feel it was okay to change those things to something less culturally black, as the person who KNOWS the situation describes here? You wouldn’t think it constituted an affront?
I can’t inagine that saying “Hey, do you not like your grandchild?” would be helpful or go over very well.
And yes, there are a whole lot of issues with hair. If the grandparents are completely unaware of that, they really need to become more aware of racial issues in general. Particularly because they have a biracial grandchild.
@MomOf3DDs I can see how how my post could be read out of context. That was certainly not what I meant. The quote I referenced was from a post stating that even if a woman would cross the street for fear of men regardless of color, it was still a racist act to cross the street away from black men. This is the idea that I objected to.
I’ve had a family member get death threats, and while it was an unpleasant experience, my guess is that most people of color have had at least one equally unpleasant experience in their lives. "What if she got death threats / what if someone actually killed her / you want her to get death threats* is White Women’s Tears. The risk that some Nice White Lady might be uncomfortable is not sufficient to justify endangering the lives of people of color.
@MomOf3DDs Do you really mean straightening, as in using a product which contains harsh chemicals and takes a considerable amount of time? Or do you just mean washing her hair and drying it by blowing it out with a hairdryer and brush so it’s straighter? The first is offensive. I don’t think the second is. And changing her clothes?
I am white. So was my mom. I have straight hair. My mom thought straight hair was akin to a birth defect. She started giving me those ridiculous Toni perms when I was 3. Hey, I think it was stupid and it certainly made me feel ugly, but obviously my mom wasn’t objecting to my racial background.
And different clothes? My granddaughter’s other grandma buys her very girly clothes with ruffles, etc. and loves putting headbands and bows in her hair. She knows darn well that the child’s mom doesn’t like this sort of thing. She also took a preschooler to get a pedicure. Preschooler was thrilled with the nail polish; mom not so much.
Maybe it’s racist; maybe the grandparents are clueless. I’m honestly not sure what “culturally black” clothes for a little girl means.
MODERATOR’S NOTE: This thread has gone way off topic. Closing.