<p>Stories like this sound familiar yet foreign. I’ve read many since I came to the US but I’d almost never seen any bullying when I was in Hong Kong; the worse I remember involved a rather feminine kid in my class and a few people would talk behind his back, which doesn’t even count as bullying. So I wonder if these are actually really rare. I am aware that a less diverse population helps in Hong Kong. But concepts like jocks vs nerds vs…or being “cool” don’t really exist over there. It seems that at quite a few (or many?) schools here, kids need to navigate a rather complicated social dynamics to fit in or else risk being bulled; is this true? How widespread is bullying really? If it’s a major problem, what should be done to combat this?</p>
<p>^It wasn’t done on such a regular basis and he might not be even aware of it; it’s like one of your coworkers doing something stupid or being an a*s and few of you talked about it behind his back but none of you would bring it up over and over. There’s definitely no pushing or taunting either and no one hated him.</p>
<p>I wish I knew what to do about it. It’s so sad, reading about these cases. Very interesting that this sort of thing isn’t a common occurance in Hong Kong–that gives me hope that we can one day make it as unheard of in the US too.</p>
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<p>How could anyone be so cruel?? What’s wrong with these girls?</p>
<p>There is no excuse for the bullying - it is so unacceptable. </p>
<p>I do wonder though if we can work on giving our kids who are bullied the skills to handle the bullying so that they don’t get to this point. It makes me so, so sad to think of a kid who choses this way out of the situation. Maybe it’s the ultimate revenge. I just can fathom it and just can’t accept it.</p>
<p>It is very widespread. For a long time it was excused in a lot of different ways. Thankfully, we seem to be moving in a new age where bullying is not being seen as a normal part of childhood.</p>
<p>I did some research and found that bullying is more widespread than I thought in HK. I went to a decent school; apparently the bad schools are infested with bullies; some of them are involved in gangs.</p>
<p>It’s fiction, written in 1944 but still very timely. The main character isn’t the bullied girl, Wanda, but a girl who stands by while her best friend taunts Wanda. Later she has to grapple with the fact that her actions (or inaction) made Wanda so unhappy that eventually her family moved away. Reading this book to a young child would make a good starting point for a conversation about how it feels to be bullied, what kind of things kids bully each other about nowdays, and how being part of the bullying eventually made the main character feel (bad).</p>
<p>Without copying some definitions of bullying that I have found, talking behind someone’s back does not remotely qualify in any of the definitions, and examples I have seen.</p>
<p>I would sure agree it’s rude though. I can’t really see it as aggressive, and from what I’ve found that is a key component to bullying, both physical and verbal.</p>
<p>It may be hard to define, somewhat like the difference between annoying and harrassment.</p>
<p>I live in a community where parents have a high education level. All of my children have been bullied in high school. D1 was bullied by a boy(!) and some girls who made prank calls to her and called her terrible names. D2 was bullied by being “kicked out” of her group of friends because the ring leader accused her of “talking about them behind their back,” (to which my D replied, “What on Earth would I be saying about you??”) and my (nice, quiet, skinny) S was and continues to be bullied by other boys who call him “gay,”(which he tells me isn’t even an insult, but it is intended to be), “■■■” and other names. Although I am obviously biased, I am pretty confident that my children are/were not odd or out of the ordinary for average teenagers, so I can only imagine what kids who are “different” must go through.</p>
<p>I think our society has tolerated this behavior way too much. The students who are doing the bullying need to be punished swiftly and often.</p>
<p>This article really hit home for me. I wrote a blog post on the matter, but it’s too long to post. In short, as someone whose life was saved as a teenager by an unlikely influence, I want you to know that you do have power here. I don’t know about the solution to ending bullying, obviously that is something we need to figure out, but I don’t know what that answer is right now. But how to support the victims of bullying so that they do not resort to suicide is not something we need to dismiss as unknown or out of reach. The most insignificant things in the world can change someones life forever. A kind word, a hug, an off the cuff remark from a coach or a priest, a chance encounter with a stranger, a musician-- the light at the end of the tunnel can be hidden anywhere. Parents, teachers, friends, and neighbors can do something here. The solution does not have to be some grand and complex thing that swoops down and saves the day, it can be any positive influence. It just takes one to break through the shell that these kids build up and a life can be changed forever. That is why it is important to be a positive influence and to expose your children to as many as you can find. You never know what is going to make the difference. Don’t give up on this because it seems like you’re powerless. There is a way to do this and we all can be part of the solution.</p>
<p>I am willing to PM the blog post about this to anyone that is interested.</p>
<p>I think bullying has become worse because some parents unknowingly encourage it.</p>
<p>When I was growing up, parents weren’t as critical of other children’s looks and such (at least verbally to their own kids). </p>
<p>However, today, it’s not unusual for a child to hear his parents say something negative about another student’s looks…“Too bad he’s so over-weight. I’m surprised his parents don’t do something.” “Too bad she doesn’t wear cuter clothes (or a better hairstyle or whatever), she’d look more attractive.” “Too bad his acne is so bad; his parents really should take him to a dermo.” “When are her parents going to put braces on her teeth?”</p>
<p>These parents may not think that they are “creating bullies,” but when kids hear these things it sort of gives them permission to say the same things at school and maybe even directly to the child.</p>