<p>An example in the book that people on this board might relate to is about a high school senior whose parents did everything for her - her father even wrote her college essay. She had gotten into a really good college but was very anxious about attending because she didn’t feel she could do anything herself. The author was able to work with the family to find ways to give the opportunity to make her small accomplishments - had to work with the parents so they didn’t do the things for her first. These small wins translated to greater confidence in herself and she was able to leave for college in a less anxious state.</p>
<p>I found the idea of “scaffolding” mentioned by the author very helpful. This idea is that with the appropriate help, that children can accomplish things that are beyond their normal level of competence. The type of help that works is not to do things for the kids (see above example) but rather to give them the clues they need to do it themselves. This is more work in the short run (Its easier to do it myself!) but in the long run,helps kids develop these competencies. This idea was developed/observed previously only for younger children.</p>
<p>An example of how scaffolding might be applied illustrated in the book is driving. Statistically, kids have more accidents. But really it is lack of experience and that first year drivers (no matter how old) have more accidents. He recommends that if we set up a condition for a first year of driving is under closely supervised conditions - only with an adult, only in certain hours, etc- then they get past that first year of practice in a supervised, safer way, then they can drive safely at a younger age. I know when my son had his permit, I made a point of having him drive even when it would have been much easier/less stressful to drive myself. My son told me that he had much more experience driving than any of his friends, probably because they didn’t want to put up with the stress all the time.</p>