<p>I have heard many schools stress that they are looking for “nice kids.” While I am certainly glad to know that this is important to them, I wonder how they determine who is nice. I suppose they can look at the essays, or they can get a feel at the interview and recs. But really, it’s such an intangible quality yet such an important one, how can they know? A not-so-nice kid can be toxic in a residential setting.</p>
<p>Trust me, the adcoms make mistakes ALL the time, but they try - mostly by interviews I’d say.</p>
<p>Neatoburrito- that’s a really good question! It’s the one intangible quality we were looking for in a school. I wonder if teacher/school recommendations would help with that sort of screening process. I have to say that the majority (but certainly not all) of the peers that my children know at Choate are exceptionally “nice.” We have never heard of any of the ugly incidences of bullying or harassment that you hear about at other schools- my guess is that they keep a close watch on those sort of things and deal with them immediately. What do the rest of you think? How do schools find “nice” kids?</p>
<p>Admission officers use their experience and professional judgement in interviews. And, yet another reason siblings have an edge - living proof of upbringing!</p>
<p>I remember someone posting something about interviewers not asking trick questions. That may be true, but I think they may set up conversational situations to see how the kid reacts. I can think of a very specific example that my son told me about where the interviewer said something that was somewhat disparaging about a certain group of kids. It was interesting to hear about, to say the least. I can’t help but think that it was a sort of test.</p>
<p>My son was asked in an interview “I have 3 kids here in my office, all equally qualified, why do I pick you?”<br>
My son answered that he would help make the school better by helping others etc.<br>
The interviewer said that most kids say things like “I would work hard, contribute to sports teams, etc” and was very impressed with the answer he gave. </p>
<p>From a PARENTS point of view, I look at nice and POLITE kids by observing when we are on campus. My biggest turnoff when visiting - kids that walk 4-5 wide in a ROAD and don’t move when a car comes. Then, when they finally do move, it’s as little as possible and they give the driver a “look.”<br>
Most school, kids say hello to visitors. We look for that. </p>
<p>Back to how THEY tell, I don’t know. I personally know a few kids who I think would interview GREAT but I know are “toxic.”</p>
<p>"Back to how THEY tell, I don’t know. I personally know a few kids who I think would interview GREAT but I know are “toxic.” "</p>
<p>So do I ! It can be easy for some competitive personalities to hide unattractive traits. </p>
<p>Makes manners all the more important.</p>
<p>How to avoid Eddie Haskell… :)</p>
<p>Does a nerdy gentle kid have an edge in this aspect? Keep thinking positive here. :)</p>
<p>Creative, that is so funny. We used to tease our son about seeming “Eddie Haskelly” when he was younger because he was always so formal. It’s our fault because we raised him with southern manners which sometimes seem fake to those in the northeast. When we told him who Eddie Haskell was (and all you kids - just google it) he was SOOOO offended. </p>
<p>June could see right through it, though. I’m sure the AOs can as well.</p>
<p>this is soooo painful. there is a boy in our kid’s class who is eddie haskell, not only by his behavior but also because he’s close to a dead ringer appearance wise too. his father is a prominent attorney with whom the schools apparently fear dealing so eddie’s abuse of other kids is met with a laissez faire attitude by the schools.</p>
<p>Truly the secret sauce of a healthy community. Mistakes get made now and then to be sure. As the school size gets smaller, say fewer than 250 kids, the ripples from a nasty personality are going to be more apparent and have a greater impact on the institution. AOs at these smaller schools have to be especially on their game sussing out the bad apples during the interview process. It’s an art.</p>
<p>Haha, thats what my dad calls my <em>coughEXTERMELYPERFECTcough</em> sister lol.</p>
<p>Nice? What is nice, exactly. I don’t know if I’d call myself nice but I’m definitely polite (I’ll always remember this one time I forgot to stand up on the bus for this 50-60 year old lady. I honestly thought she was going to kill me. Since then I always remember).</p>
<p>So it is a very good thing if your interveiwer tells you that you seem nice?</p>
<p>do you think they ever tell anyone that they’re not nice?</p>
<p>…YES. i fear i came of as a bit shallow to my sps interviewer (woops) but no one would deliberately prob</p>
<p>I have to say, I found the whole “nice kid” thing offensive. Half of you might be thinking to yourselves right now, well, that proves her daughter isn’t nice, but she is. She’s terribly nice. What pressure to convey to a kid, though, that being nice counts overwhelmingly much. It’s an intangible.
Besides, the school we heard most about the nice business is a school whose graduates are overwhelmingly not nice. They’re smart. They’re tough. They compete. But nice isn’t the first attribute I’d give one of their graduates. Made me feel the school doesn’t know itself.</p>
<p>So they take in nice kids, process them, and then output bad eggs? LOL</p>
<p>Benley, you made it sound like the geese in charlie and chocolate factory :)</p>