<p>I found it interesting how Andover uses such a vague term to describe something they look for in an applicant. Of course, it’s important for a kid to be nice to others and develop friendships, etc. during their time here, but I was surprised that many admissions officers consider it to be one of the three necessary qualities (interesting/interested, academically qualified, and nice)</p>
<p>I think “nice” is not always, but usually a given among the applicant pool–I would estimate roughly 95%. Why?</p>
<p>How many smart kids do you know or have encountered who are mean or the bullying type? I know it does happen, but it seems very rare…It seems students who are able to think on a deeper level applying to Andover and other BS are less likely to be mean, ignorant, rude, etc. Which leads me to think that “niceness” is actually subtlety masquerading another more necessary quality.</p>
<p>I don’t want to read into it too much, this is just for fun, more of a psychological exploration of “niceness” among intelligent kids.</p>
<p>nice does not mean people who do not bully or are mean. those people are simply normal, i would hardly call them nice.
i think nice is when you have a genuine concern for others’ sake, and you don’t look out only for yourself. you’re not at andover for simply your own benefit, but also for the sake of others-- education gives you power and with power, you can accomplish a lot, including helping others.
i wouldn’t say that 95% of applicants are ‘nice’, i think 'nice’ness is a uncommon quality, imho. </p>
<p>yeah, not nice doesn’t mean bullying necessarily. I think certain smart people can not be nice. I will admit, I am an absolute d*** to a lot of people just because I make fun of them when I prove them wrong or outsmart them (which with my friends and family is a lot). I obviously don’t do it in classes though or to people who it would hurt (my friends dont care at all) so I don’t think I would not be considered nice when applying to schools.</p>
<p>The reason they are looking for “nice” is that this is a boarding community. Imagine a school full of brilliant people who are only looking out for themselves. Dreadful. In a community setting people must be nice for everyone to live with a minimum of conflict.</p>
<p>bbc420 behavior is exactly the kind of behavior that schools try to ferret out and reject…making fun of others, being a “tool” about being right etc. Smart kids who apply to top boarding school do not have the corner on being “nice.” I knew tons of smart kids at Princeton who were real jerks, competitive with each other instead of themselves, smarmy and self-aggrandizing in the classroom with their questions, grade-grubbing at every turn, often socially inept. </p>
<p>While “nice” is always going to be a subjective term, to me it means a kid that others like to spend time around, someone who puts energy into a room instead of taking it out, who looks to better himself or herself, but not by putting others down, whose humor is not at the expense of others.</p>
<p>I think pulsar has a point–most of us, particularly in our teen years, probably have both the positive and negative qualities mentioned in the posts above swirling around inside; maybe it has more to do with which set we put the most effort into on a day-to-day basis that determines our niceness. Put more energy into a room than I take out is my 2011 resolution–nicely put! :)</p>
<p>DiveAlive, I agree that what you interpreted as “nice” is definitely an uncommon quality.</p>
<p>But is that really the meaning of “nice”? Wouldn’t the desire to help others and society be better worded as “compassionate”?</p>
<p>Nice: pleasant or pleasing or agreeable in nature or appearance. (which in my opinion would be many, many applicants)
Hmm…maybe they mean “nice” beyond the extent of its definition.</p>
<p>Rebel–I don’t disagree–I’ve just worked and lived with teens long enough to believe in and like the ones who are struggling with the mix of nice and not-so-nice. Even the nicest people have their underbellies: nice people on this board, for example, often direct barbed, not-nice comments at Pulsar, because they don’t like his/her attitude. (Is it nice to not be nice to people you don’t think are nice? And how’s that for a twisted sentence?!) </p>
<p>Still, as nhmm points out, a dorm full of kids with a mean streak would be an awful place to be, so I certainly see why a school would look for niceness.</p>
<p>Nice, to me, is someone who you can live with in the dorm 24/7, enjoy being with and count on as a true friend. Both of my children have found this at their school. I would not want them to have to live in close quarters, sit around the Harkness table or play sports with anyone who enjoys “put downs” as described by a previous poster. I’m not sure how you can screen for this in the application process, but hopefully the schools have figured this out.</p>
<p>Idk, it’s very hard for a school to tell if a student is actually “nice.” Most schools get to have a short conversation with the kid, and have them write a few relatively short essays. Sure, recommendations can be an indication of how “nice” someone is, but I know a lot of “two-faced” people who are really nice in front of teachers, but jerks around most kids. And if those people can manipulate teachers into believing they’re nice, they will easily manipulate admissions officers in believing they’re nice.</p>
<p>This reminds me of a Lipton Iced Tea commercial from the 1980s. In it, Chris Evert touts the drink, claiming that it is “full of goodness.”</p>
<p>What the…?</p>
<p>What is goodness and how does one measure it so as to tell whether a beverage is full of it or not.</p>
<p>I think when people start making claims about these sorts of things, they’re pretty much always full of it…though not what they’re claiming they’re full of.</p>
<p>True. I suppose they could be shape-shifters.</p>
<p>FWIW, my take on the “niceness” thing is that they realize that 8th-graders can’t be expected to have lists of ECs and community service projects that are so long and world-changing they will need to attach a separate document to their application.</p>
<p>To impose that kind of expectation on kids would be unrealistic…and potentially scare away many fine applicants. So – this is all just a wild guess, like most of the opinions offered here – they use “niceness” as a way to say that they’re looking for the kinds of kids who have the capacity to cobble together those long resumes of charity work that college-bound high school seniors have to pretend that they’re committed to.</p>
<p>“Niceness” removes the stress-factor that kids and parents would experience from an expectation of a school that applicants should set forth a busload of demonstrable, quantifiable good deed stuff.</p>
<p>But how would one tell the difference between kids who are doing it out of the goodness of their own hearts or those doing it because of their parents or just to fulfill a requirement? (referring to charity work)</p>
<p>Some of you are reading too much into it. For a healthy boarding community, they don’t want trouble makers, so while intellectually you are supposed to be sharp and <em>aggressive</em>, socially you are expected to be easy-going and low maintenance. And yes, I believe most of the kids who feel they are ready to attend a boarding school are nice. Parents, on the other hand, is another stoy. ;)</p>
Two years ago, a kid graduated from my school and went off to boarding school in Rhode Island. He’s the biggest jerk I have ever known in my entire life. So, there are exceptions to that rule.</p>