<p>I just finished reading the book by Jodi Picoult. If any of you have read the book, I just want to know: is life in public high schools in the States really that bad?</p>
<p>for some–yes</p>
<p>Yep (10 letters)</p>
<p>Who knows? I graduated from school 30+ years ago. Might be a better question for HS students instead of their parents. Unless someone works in a High School, we’re all getting our information second hand and are as clueless as the parents in the book.</p>
<p>Quasi - I haven’t read the book. But public school’s are a great frustration for many parents in America.</p>
<p>Not every school has a shooting. That’s actually very rare. </p>
<p>But most schools have kids on the fringes of the group, most teens will tell you that there are the skaters, the jocks, the goodie-goodie students, the nerds, the freaks, and other cliques. They might even admit to being aware of kids totally off the radar screen of popularity or other sort of high school success.</p>
<p>Actually, I’m reading “Why Kids Kill” by Peter Langman, and he successfully makes the case that almost none of the school shotters in the 1990’s or 200’s were bullied or socially isolated (except if they chose isolation).</p>
<p>^ Bullied or socially isolated? Isn’t that about half of HS students?</p>
<p>I’m not really talking about school shooters. I’m wondering about the the bullying, both physical and psychological, Josie being so invested in a relationship with a controlling, aggressive shmuck just to have a few kids look at her in envy everyday (she was never picked on the way Peter was, she was mostly left alone), the pantsing in the cafetaria and the system of friends instead of allies - the whole popularity/unpopularity issue, basically.</p>
<p>Yep - And can tell about it.</p>
<p>Quasi - The sorts of behaviors you’re asking about do occur in MOST public high schools. That means it’s endemic. And endemic means EVERYONE who attends a public HS can relate their own personal experiences. Some of these stories are horrific … most are just very sad (in both senses of the word). But people get over those experiences and move on to become productive and successful adults. </p>
<p>[Note: For an amusing musical portrayal, check Y*uTube for Bowling for Soup’s “High School Never Ends”]</p>
<p>I’ve had kids in public and private high schools. Both are fine and both have their issues. The problem with bullying and manipulating has to do with the age, not with the location.</p>
<p>Can anyone explain to me why it was so important to Josie to be popular/stay with Matt? She wasn’t happy that way. And she wasn’t bullied the way Peter was when she was UNpopular, she was mostly left alone.</p>
<p>Should I ask this over at HSL?</p>
<p>My kids went to both a largish urban public (2,400 students) and a private high school (400 students). The public was an academic magnet, but very broad-based – students from all over the city, different ethnic and socioeconomic groups – and the average SATs were only about 1100 (on a 1600 scale).</p>
<p>There was absolutely nothing like the behaviors and structures described as “endemic” at either school. No bullying whatsoever – never even got a whiff of that. Very little segmentation of kids into cliques. There were friendship and interest groupings, sure, but they were pretty fluid and permeable, and they treated each other with a fair amount of respect. My children’s high school friends included kids a lot like them and kids totally different from them; shared activities (sports, drama, classes) made a difference, but each had friends with whom he or she shared no activities. Neither of my kids was athletic, but my son’s close friends included three all-city athletes (something I learned only by reading the yearbook), and my daughter’s friends included a college athletic recruit who was a starter on the school’s undefeated basketball team.</p>
<p>The public school definitely had some degree of ethnic separation, but much less than I expected. There were lots of cross-group friendships, and many cross-group couples (many more than their parents knew about).</p>
<p>There was very little clothes competition or conspicuous consumption at either school. There were socially marginal kids at both schools. At the private school, students were protective and respectful of them; at the public school they were ignored, not bullied.</p>
<p>[Three</a> teens accused of raping classmate released |Tampa Bay News and Weather](<a href=“http://www.abcactionnews.com/news/local/story/Three-teens-accused-of-raping-classmate-released/RnsBPnfEsEav4QrGvKYi3g.cspx]Three”>http://www.abcactionnews.com/news/local/story/Three-teens-accused-of-raping-classmate-released/RnsBPnfEsEav4QrGvKYi3g.cspx)</p>
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<p>You wonder how things like this could happen at school without someone reporting or knowing about it. In another report they said it occurred in the middle school locker room where other kids heard the victim scream, and no one did anything about it. If our kids couldn’t feel safe in school, how are they suppose to learn.</p>
<p>oldfort - What really bothers me is the part about it taking place in a locker room where the victim screamed and no one came to help. When kids do not help others what kind of society are we becoming? I have told DDs since they were young that if they ever see bad behavior and do nothing about it, but stay silent, then they are just as bad as those doing it.</p>
<p>Back to the OP: I don’t know if you are aware that 19 Minutes, like many Picoult books, was inspired in part by an actual event. That event took place at Columbine High School 10 years ago. If you are unfamiliar with what happened, google those words. It was shocking in part because the shootings didn’t happen in an urban high school in a “bad” neighborhood. Two boys were involved and both came from middle-class two parent families. </p>
<p>After you google that event, try googling things like high school and popularity. You’ll find some surprising studies. At many schools, the “popular” kids are the most likely to engage in lots of underage drinking and other high risk activities. This is in part because with exceptions (all of whom have parents who post on cc 
), popular kids tend to be the ones who are most susceptible to peer pressure. </p>
<p>I went to high school in a state where high school sports–especially one high school sport–meant a lot. The members of the team were granted all sorts of special privileges.That was a LONG time ago, but, unfortunately, I suspect that’s still the case. There were girls–even some very smart girls–who wanted desperately to be “popular.” One way to achieve that status was to be the girlfriend of a <em>star</em> jock. To too many of those girls, it didn’t matter if the guy had the brain of a pea and the personality of a clam. </p>
<p>So, unfortunately, there’s some truth in Picoult’s fiction. Still, it’s fiction. It’s written as criticism.</p>
<p>parents, are you talking about ur kids’ experiences, yours, or both?</p>
<p>bc i have never experienced or heard of any bullying in my 13 years of school. hs was a fun, and safe enviornment for me and my peers. i went to a public suburban hs in san diego. i do hope that my experience is not the exception. :(</p>
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<p>Yeah, private schools are magically immune from bullying or cliques.</p>
<p>Public high schools in the US? In the first place, Jodie Picoult is a mediocre novelist aiming at the “ripped from the headlines” crowd. She isn’t writing from a documentary POV. Secondly, you people actually think that private high schools and high schools outside the US are immune from cliques and bullying? Hah.</p>
<p>Off the top of my head, try “Another Country” and “Prep.” For that matter, Tom Brown’s School Days and Nicholas Nickleby. Give me a break.</p>