I currently attend a liberal arts college in New England which I originally thought would be the college of my dreams. I am currently a sophomore, and have never felt more alone than I do at college. Rumors are constantly being spread about me, I have no one to talk to on campus (I’ve tried the counseling center, group therapy with other students, clubs, volunteering, events on campus, asking to sit with people in the dining hall, etc). I feel completely and utterly alone, and more depressed than I have ever been before. I would transfer colleges if I could, but I don’t have the money to do it since my school gives me such a generous financial aid package. Does anyone have any advice on how to get through the next two years?
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Is there any chance you can do a study abroad junior year? Maybe getting off campus would be a positive change
How about an off campus group or activity? Church group, sport (hiking, biking), habitat for humanities? A job? You might like working with a different age group like children or seniors where all the talk isn’t about the college. My daughter teaches swimming to the grade school kids on Fridays and really likes that. There are a few other college kids too, but mostly the rec center guy who runs the program and the 5-12 year olds who take the lessons. Pays well too.
Some schools not only participate in study abroad but in a domestic exchange where you continue to pay the tuition to (and get FA aid from) your school but do a semester or year at another school.
My D who struggles a bit socially seems to find camaraderie when working part time. She often works off campus.
I remember your posts from senior year and was rooting for you to get in with enough financial aid, as you sounded like a great kid. Sorry this hasn’t been the experience you’d hoped for, especially since it sounds like you’ve tried a lot of things to make it work.
Any chance that you could get a job on campus or nearby? That might bring you in contact with a different group of students than those in your classes and dorms.
How about Campus Ministry? Or a Catholic parish near school where you could go to Mass or maybe volunteer, like at a Children’s liturgy? You’ll meet people besides students which might be helpful.
And study abroad is a great idea if feasible.
Edited to say that it looks like several parents have similar advice.
Hi all, thank you so, so much for your advice and tips. I did apply to study abroad next year, so I hope I get that opportunity! I’m definitely nervous about going, but optimistic that maybe it will help me make new friends. It is difficult to get to off-campus jobs & activities since sophomores aren’t allowed cars on campus here. I work three jobs at school but am typically working by myself in all of them, so that makes it a little harder to make friends there, but the whole reason I tried to work more was to find ways to make new friends! I participate in campus ministry but have a lot of trouble making those connections. For some reason, I just feel like I stick out like a sore thumb here, no matter what I do. I’ve tried to hard to fit in with the clothes, the sayings, etc, but I just can’t fit in with everyone else. I know I shouldn’t strive for that, but it would certainly make college a whole lot more fun. I will try to study abroad next year. Thank you all so much. I can’t thank you enough for all of your kind words. Have a great weekend!
Hi–I feel for what you are going through right now. One thing that strikes me is that you mention all that you’ve done to try to fit in. Don’t try “to fit in”. You are uniquely you. You have your own strengths, interests, likes, dislikes, styles etc… Focus on yourself, your interests and pursue those interests exhaustively. Relationships develop from shared experiences, and you’re going to want to have relationships with people who have similar passions and interests—that’s where you find fun!
I doubt very much that you stick out like a sore thumb–you may feel that, but no one is walking around campus seeing a big sore thumb on two legs. Each person you walk past has their own issues that they are dwelling on–even that person who seems to be surrounded by friends.
If you think that you have a “reputation”, that’s likely self-perception, defeat that thought. Did you personally actually hear “rumors”–or did some troublemaker allude to them? Rumors are just vicious little smokey puffs of air–visualize them as such and they will disappear.
You have a new semester ahead to focus and work on your interests–lose yourself in those interests. Also, keep focusing outwards to those who may need compassion themselves in some way–it may be through Campus Ministry, or through another outlet. Keep poking around those nooks and crannies on that campus for an organization that you may never have considered before. You might be surprised what you will find. Good luck and my best to you!
@masscatholicgirl agree with all what other posters said about getting a job, studying abroad, but I would add one more thing, if you have a decent insurance through your parents seek a counselor/therapist that is of campus and that has his speciality in treating depression, not one of those that claims they can fix anything. Depression is a health issue, and You need a good therapist and doctor to help you I’ve one it. If you do have depression this can also be an actual cause of some of those feeling of not fitting in, and feeling rejected. Good luck to you will be praying for you.
Rooting for you still.
Is there a group for first gen students on campus? If not, go to the dean of students and suggest forming one. You’re not alone. Others feel they stick out like a sore thumb and will welcome the opportunity to meet. There should be pizza, ice cream, and chocolates as well as tissues (wrangle that form the Dean 
)
Don’t try to conform - be whoever you want to be, dress however you want to.
Where would you be going abroad?
Did you apply for a whole year?
Thank you so much, @MYOS1634. There is a first gen group, which I will definitely join this semester. I would be going abroad to Spain for a year, but, since I recently changed my major, I may only be able to go for a semester. I hope I still will have the opportunity to go for a year, though!
I hope you get to go for a year indeed - or perhaps go for a semester to Spain, and elsewhere for another semester that’d match your new major better. What’s your new major?
Good luck with the First Gen group - I think it’ll help you in not feel so alone.
@MYOS1634 - I changed my major to psychology! I think that the university where I plan to study has a lot of psychology courses, so I think I’ll still be able to study there for the year. I think it will help too - they meet this week, so I’ll keep you updated!