So I go to a really small college and have been here for 3 years already. I’m not planning on leaving until I finish the degree as I already put too much effort into the degree and it is a top ranked school. Also, I commute to school.
However, I have definately been lacking with no social life. I’ve come to realize the people here are not my type of people. Ive looked all around, tried to join clubs, but no one has sparked my interest. Really though I have no one I can rely on and be there for me. At this point I don’t know what to do.
I want life long friends but I know college will not be the place for me to meet them. How though can I find people I can connect with and make life long friendships?
Very often people meet their friends at their place of employment or through other extracurricular things that they get involved in (church, community theater, volunteer organizations, sports leagues, whatever). I know that there are many people who have “life long” friendships, but there are also a lot of people who have good friends, but they do come and go. It is important not to set yourself up for some kind of unrealistic image of what a life long friendship should be. Rather be open to friendships and enjoy them as they come along. Some will last longer than others. Active friendships are also influenced by proximity.
If you want a social life, you have to seek it out, it doesn’t come looking for you. You have to get involved in things where there are other people to socialize with. Starting in a job or activity where you have something in common–being in the same place, is probably the best place to start.
^ I agree. I’m a transfer student at my current school, so I don’t really have a group of friends yet. I’m very shy though, so I expect that people will talk to me. However, I am sometimes told that I often look sad/mad/unapproachable when really, I don’t notice that. One female student noticed that I was shy and she took me a Hispanic/Latino center on campus that I had no idea even existed. There, I saw a lot of people that were like me. Most of them were even from places close to where I live (I commute as well). I could definitely see myself being friends with most of the people that are part of the center, but I’m not willing to put in the effort. I want really good friends too, but my awkwardness and tendency to be so shy and soft-spoken really makes it hard for me to be the one that starts a conversation.
Perhaps working with a counselor at the student counseling center on being more socially assertive might help. You could practice friendship building skills in a private supportive environment.